Emotional Savants & Aspie Empaths

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I am interested in hearing from anyone here who would define themselves as a person with AS or Autism who is able to feel deeply the pain and suffering of others.

I would say I am acutely hot-wired to the suffering of people and consequently have no difficulty what-so-ever in the feeling of empathy, yet feel I have to act the expression of this feeling, rather than convey it like most Non-autistic people.

For those who can resonate with this dynamic I would be pleased to converse.

I know of many aspies who like myself work in the area of counselling and psychotherapeutic work. And would be keen to hear from like-minded aspies as to how they too are engaging through their gifts within this context.

Wishing you all well

Chris

I don't know whether this would particularly qualify, but...

Whenever I am in a situation where a lot of people are unhappy and don't like their jobs, their wives, their jobs, etc. and are complaining about it, it makes me feel very bad and disgruntles me for the rest of the day.

I'm very empathic as well. When someone's going through something rough, I can help but impose myself into that situation, and get upset at the circumstances, and often, this world that we live in. And when somebody is happy, it seems like such a simple and pure emotion, and it inspires me so much that someone can be happy even in unideal situations, that I want to be like that too. The last time I had a anxiety attack at work was when a customer was going through an anxiety attack and was talking about his crazy ex wife reporting him as a missing person and he just seemed so uncomfortable and alienated and I saw myself looking that way and I completely picked up on his demeanor and composition. That was a bad night.

I tend to start my day like that, but because of the excessive input and no way to combat the flow of other peoples emotions, I tend to either shut down, freak out, or just be irritable by the end of the day.

I can do the empathy thing . When I can figure what they are talking about and why. Over the years I have learned empathy is just another faculty and the trick is knowing how and when to use it. Some people you meet will be so good at hitting your empathy spot , but this type will lying, and it's learning to spot them that is the hardest, because this is a minefield area of social predation and camouflage.

I like dogs. I can really empathize with them and they don't lie.

And I do tend to ask myself who actually has ever really bothered to listen to me at this intensity, over my lifetime ? Very few. So why give that much of yourself away . Why risk emotional overload and burnout when you are not responsible for anyone else's life. When your sky is clear and blue why let an NT dump a self inflicted emotional weather system in it? I ain't no dustbin.

I am very emotional. When I am sad I cry and when I am Happy I cry. I cry watching Tv when I see someone has done a good deed like saving a life or making somone happy. I cry when I see animals or people in need. I am saddened when I hear about all the schools closing and people losing their jobs. It's overwhelming.....when people are stressed out I get stressed.

I try to practice compassion but it's intellectualized, I think. The first time I ever felt it was when I was 27 and it was a very strange feeling that seemed to come from my belly or heart. It was spontaneous, I hadn't had to think about it. I am very sensitive to the suffering of other people, animals, etc. but it really is almost always a thought process rather than a feeling or emotion.

I'm not sure if I answered your question. I don't quite understand the phrase "act the expression of this feeling, rather than convey it like most Non-autistic people." What exactly do you mean when you say act or convey?

i didn't "get it" until my 30s. until then i was a cold fish. now when somebody else is visibly sad it soaks with a heavy feeling into me, even at a distance. when i see somebody is crying it makes me tear-up as well, even if they are faking it with some facility with which i can't tell if that is what they are doing. i desperately want to hug and comfort these people but i am very clumsy and lack all adroitness to the task.
if somebody is flushed and angry, i know to get the hell away from that person express - i can feel the heat convecting off of them, and i can see and feel their rage as an ugly black smoky entity. but if somebody is effusively happy, i seem to be left cold. i can't explain this.

thank you everyone.

HappyMusic with re acting the
expression of empathy, I would
say that I have great feeling inside
me, yet conveying that feeling is
awkward for me. I am acutely self-
conscious and feel like I have
this invisible pupiteer having to
pull all the approprate facial
expressions relavant to the feeling
in question.

In other words the feeling comes
naturally, in fact I can be painfully
flooded, however, the communication
of this is very impared.

Does that help. I hope so. If not
do say and I will try to go deeper.

Chris

I think I'm a bit like this. Other people's suffering crushes me. Or it used to. I'm more in touch with and in control of my inner life now.

If I see a picture of an abused child or animal I feel it very strongly in a physical way.
If someone tells me about an emotional problem I can usually offer input in a intellectually supportive way.
If someone is in acute emotional distress I feel like I'm outside my body. I feel very detached even if intellectually I can understand how they feel.

I'm very emotional, and I'm not afraid to let it show. I don't wish to be emotionally crippled. I feel that it's better to let it all hang out. Who cares what society says?

I am very emotional and passionate on the inside and somewhat distant on the outside...sometimes it gets to be too much and I just go numb for awhile until it all explodes like a landslide of emotion. Then I feel exposed and stuff it all in again...just to overflow later on. It is not that I dont want ppl to know how I feel, sometimes I feel too much at once and my mind just pushes this numb button I guess to protect itself. Ever since I was a teen, if something was too overwhelming...my mind shuts off all emotions and I just watch what is going on like watching a movie...completely detached but fully aware.
Other times, I feel fully and completely what others are feeling around me....but there is always the safety numb valve.

I've never really contemplated the subject from the perspective that you describe, OP. Interesting.

After some contemplation, I find the following to characterize my specific capacity for empathy.

Positive-happy-giddy type situations experienced by other people...result in a complete blank on my part. For this reason I'm misperceived as mean, cranky, etc--when others are gushing and cooing over a newborn or jumping up and down over a wedding, sports event, etc, I'm completely apathetic. Not in a negative or cynical way--I'm just a blank. I feel nothing either way, pro or con.

However....when it comes to emotional states that would fall more into a negative category, eg lonely, sad, distressed, scared, angry, etc, I can be on the same wavelength within minutes if not seconds, though I feel like I have some sort of internal "switch" that has to be thrown to actuate empathy on my part. Even once the switch is thrown, though, I'm never paralyzed or immobilized by these states.

The exceptions would be fear and anger felt by others---both draw a complete blank on my part, same as the positive states.

The result is that people are frequently assessing my personal energy and/or emotional states as depressed or withdrawn, something that I almost never feel. My "usual" state is somewhere between mildly contented to moderately agitated or bored.

Odd how I never thought about any of this in this way before. On the surface I'd say that I am nonplussed by the happiness of others but impressionable with respect to distress/sadness/etc because I tend to be a problem solver. Where there's contentment there's not much evidence of any problem; where there's distress there's something for me to "do."

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSRHjQ1XQ9U[/youtube]

Other people's emotions can be overpowering sometimes.