How do you know when you're interested?

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Hi, long time lurker in this forum. Don't think I've posted here before, but don't hold me to that.

A bit of background information that may or may not be relevant:
>18, never had a girlfriend - closest I've come was an afterparty from a theatre show I was involved in where a girl and I were friendly
>Out of my about 15 close friends, around 10 of them are girls

Essentially, I'm having a bit of a problem. I've considered asking a few girls out, but end up choosing not to as most of these are friends (Logic here is that I have no idea if they reciprocate the interest (the more I think about it, the more unlikely is seems), and I don't want to screw up/make awkward a friendship when they're so hard to come by). But that's another topic.

Anyway, the whole "should I ask this person out? That person?" has lead me to wonder, am I interested in asking said people out because I am interested in them, or am I interested in asking them out because I want to have a girlfriend? If it's the latter, I respect them too much to ask them out. But how can I tell which is which? I understand that this may be too vague/philosophical a question for anyone to help me with, but please try

Do you imagine about how it would be to kiss them? or to hold hands? And other stuff along these lines. If it's that kind of stuff, it may be that you like them. Perhaps to chat carefully with one of your female friends and ask about this kind of thing, asking for advice on how to know about this kind of stuff. A girl who's on the spectrum but with some social skills might be a good idea.

Remember, be careful about going about this. Sometimes women aren't used to this type of question coming from males.

I know i'm interested when my attention starts slowly gravitating more towards the particular girl and even little insignificant things she does seem to interest me.

But alas, they're all Neurotypical. But still, your advice (and Sean's) give me some sort of framework, at least.

I think I'll leave it for now, but I'll keep a weather eye out about what I'm thinking/feeling. Thanks, guys.

[quote="Sparx139"Anyway, the whole "should I ask this person out? That person?" has lead me to wonder, am I interested in asking said people out because I am interested in them, or am I interested in asking them out because I want to have a girlfriend?[/quote]

Yes.

When you don't have a GF, you want a GF and should be willing to ask women out 'just because'. IF it leads to a GF, great. If not, at least you're having fun with someone of the opposite sex. The distinction isn't truly important because once you do get a GF, you no longer have the opportunity to ask them out.

So flip it around (assuming you're being 'respectful' of women), would you ask these women who you respect 'out' if you were dating? If the answer is no - then it's because you're interested in them FOR dating.

I've been getting better at understanding emotions over the years, but at the time, I lost my ability to know if I'm attracted to a girl. With my bad looks and poor social skills, I'm well aware that I have no right to insist on a hot girlfriend, and should be happy with who I can find. As soon as I can verify 100% that a girl likes me, my attraction for her happens automatically, with a "manual override" if I get a bad feeling about the said girl. If I start dating her, any going through the motions (since I lack social intuition, I have to rely on that) doesn't feel fake at all. I don't have a reason to feel guilty about it either, because whether or not I'm "really" attracted to her, I always give the girl the best relationship she can find, complete with gifts, compliments, and romance. And in return, I get hugs, kisses, intimacy, and the benefit of having a girlfriend. All in all, both parties enjoy the relationship.

I don't know... perhaps I'm a bit naive - expecting something that just isn't. I'm sorry I'm not explaining myself clearer; I can't find the words I need to express myself here.