A very odd thing I read earlier about Aspies...

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From what I notice that's not entirely true. "Experts" on television tend to be fat, bald, overweight men. Professors in college tend to be, as well. The stereotype surrounding attractive people is they are good at socializing, but not that bright.

I don't know how founded in science this is... I've known both attractive and unattractive aspergians...
I think that if all of Hans Asperger's patients were good looking then it was purely coincidental. I've known enough unattractive and average aspies to think it has nothing to do with physical appearance.

On the note of appearance, what always annoys me is that NTs seem to think that autism is some how linked to being hideously ugly...
I think it's because the only autistic people most NTs encounter (and know they are autistic without having to be told) are extremely low functioning, and LFAs tend to be less able to take care of themselves, ie: never brushing their teeth, never bathing or washing their faces, never brushing their hair, etc. Even a beautiful person can appear ugly if they allow themselves to fall into disrepair, so to speak.

Because of this, no one will believe that I have anything "wrong with me." Let alone AS, no one will believe that I'm anything but perfectly normal simply because I'm attractive. My ex boyfriend (very NT) goes on and on about how I can't be aspergian because I'm "too good of a person." What the heck does that mean? Are people with Asperger's evil? Despite my obvious difficulties in almost every aspect of socialization and relationships (we dated for over a year! he knows better than anyone how dysfunctional I am!) he refuses to believe that I have AS simply because I "don't look ret*d"... Man, how insulting to the autistic community! I told him off for saying that for quite a while...

ditto (hey all epilectics are next top models)

The autistic/aspie people I know have, I think, slightly bigger eyes than average. Might be conincidence, might appear like that because of the learned eye contact, might be an actual thing, I don't know.
Also, the slightly different way of moving might make them stand out more, so maybe it is that plus in attention?

there is no objective method of measuring aesthetics.

having said that, the media protrays only certain body types as attractive.

women have to look younger than they are. women have to be tall and scrawny.

men have to be muscular.

on the other hand, IMHO, the people that i have interacted with that told me they were AS (or that i suspect could be AS), looked either the same as NTs (visually) or looked a bit less attractive.

but, what is so great about being physically attractive.

yeah i used to wish i was aesthetically attractive. but hey maybe if i were attractive, then maybe someone would've raped me. that otherwise would not have done so.

it's just superficial appearances. maybe society judges too much based on superficial appearances.

I've heard that too. I've also read my notes from being diagnosed and they always described me as an "attractive girl with short brown hair".

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granted, i ain't no psychologist. but it does not sound professional to describe a patient as being physically "attractive". yeah i know the mental health status includes a brief physical description. including things as superficial and meaningless as clothes. (fine). but "attractive"? that sounds suspiciously like the psychologist ("they") might have found you attractive.

who are "they", the psychologist? are "they" more than one person?

b/c it would then sound like "they" would tell someone else that someone is unattractive.

or maybe "they" called every client attractive.

sheesh, i ain't telepathic. but it sounds a bit creepy to me.

psychologist boundaries

I get arrested every time I try to cross the border into Saudi Arabia!

That's how handsome I am!

I look quite a bit younger than my chronological age, but I don't consider myself attractive. I am, optimistically speaking, 5' 1" tall and have to be careful about maintaining a healthy weight. I have been told I look "cute," not always complimentary for a 52 year old woman. It makes me feel like a little girl.

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almost every time someone guesses my age, they guess way too low. when i was 33 someone told me i look 16.

and i get that it ain't illegal.

but it is annoying. and it ain't cute or funny neither.

you could twiddle your thumbs and say we are all equal. (fine).

but there is no point in getting told that i look like a minor, when i do not get to enjoy the advantages that minors enjoy.

I definitely think it's demeanor based, rather than physical appearance. I'm a solid 4/10 based purely on symmetry and physical health.

I find in group photos I have my eyes open way more than anyone else in the picture. In photos it feels kind of serial killer-ish, but IRL big eyes are usually correlated to attractivness. I'm not sure why I keep my eyes more open than "normal", but I think it is related to my ASD.

How I carry myself and walk, people have commented that I seem very self-assured and confident. I am definitely not either of those things. I guess I don't have the necessary brain wiring to subconciously display my insecurity and anxiety the same way an NT might, so to an NT I seem confident. Seeming to be shy and confident at the same time also seems to be super appealing to people.

I have found a surprising number of people relate logical intelligence to social intelligence, and social intelligence is seen as being attractive. The "Your smart why can't you figure out why I'm angry at you" bit, gets tired fast.

I've been told the way I get really enthusiastic about certain things is endearing. A lot of people find enthusiasm apealing.

I imagine my reduced facial expressions can also come off as attractive and/or youthful.


The flip side is NTs see me and expect this really enthusiastic confident self-assured social youthful person, only to be horribly disappointed once they actually get to know me. Most people never get over the dichotomy of "appearence" and "actuality", and the ensuing cognitive dissonance utterly kills any chance of friendship. The tiny supset of people who actually don't judge books by covers makes up my friendship pool.