Do women not like aspie guys?
I am a female Aspie myself, but I'd say I wouldn't really want to marry an Aspie man. It's nothing personal, and I wouldn't mind being friends with one, but I don't think I would fall in love with one because I think we would clash. It might be because I come across as NT to my colleagues, and if I said I had AS they wouldn't believe me.
I think I'll do better marrying a NT man, even though they can be misunderstanding. But NTs can be misunderstanding to eachother - (my parents are!)
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Female
But I can't recall seeing even just two men anywhere online commisserating about how awful it is to be married to an AS woman.
Is this because men and women deal with marital dissatisfaction differently? Women by finding some cause in the man and blaming everything on him, be it workaholism, AS, wandering eye, whatever and men in some other way besides getting together and complaining about how their wives are ruining everything? But I do see men getting together and complaining about other things. Like I've seen a group of men go on and on about how their wives won't let them buy the rifle they want. Or the electric guitar they want.
Is it something to do with how AS manifests differently in men vs. women?
Is it something else entirely?
I'm really baffled because I really like the AS men I know and don't see that much difference between them and the AS women I know and so I wonder why it is that there's almost a cottage industry surrounding complaining about AS husbands but near silence about AS wives.
Women expect considerably more than we do of them(be pretty, be a sweetie)
I think I'll do better marrying a NT man, even though they can be misunderstanding. But NTs can be misunderstanding to eachother - (my parents are!)
Why would a socially normal guy have ANY interest in a socially awkward women when he can get a regular social skills women.
I think I'll do better marrying a NT man, even though they can be misunderstanding. But NTs can be misunderstanding to eachother - (my parents are!)
Why would a socially normal guy have ANY interest in a socially awkward women when he can get a regular social skills women.
I don't know, maybe he likes her personality???! ! Ask one of the pile of women here with NT partners/exes.
I already have NT men fancying me and want to go out with me. It's a start.
Anyway - just because I've got AS, doesn't mean every NT man in the world will run away from me. It all depends on how they feel. My Aspie friend is getting married to a NT man next year, and they've been living together for a year, and he really loves her. When she first went out with him she was honest with him and said, ''please excuse me if I talk about my special interests - I will try and limit it.'' And he said, ''I'm not going to let that come between us.'' And she did limit herself from talking about her special interests. Anyway - he has his special interests too, which is football.
It's naive to think that NTs won't look twice at an Aspie woman. You'll be surprised at who gets married to who these days.
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Female
The_Face_of_Boo
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I think I'll do better marrying a NT man, even though they can be misunderstanding. But NTs can be misunderstanding to eachother - (my parents are!)
Why would a socially normal guy have ANY interest in a socially awkward women when he can get a regular social skills women.
I knew few girls who were socially awkward yet always had bfs. I knew a girl in particular who is terribly socially awkward (she's from a far ret*d village and she doesn't know anything about city's life) , yet she always had bfs from cities , her last bf is even from different religion and a city-folk. She is the most desired girl at work tho (almost EVERY single male wanted to date her when she was single).
My theory is that men love such women because they give the 'Damsel in distress' or "be my support" vibe, men like to be the knights. The bf of this girl acts as her wise-counselor-in-everything-in-life and super protector and she likes it.
Men who give the "guy in distress" vibe are not usually desirable by women.
I wouldn't say women don't like Aspie guys, but it probably means that they were not meant to be with each other so they shouldn't pursue a relationship. Our problems with communicating, reading body/facial expressions, and intense focus on a special interest are a couple of reasons that some of us Aspies get rejected by certain women. Others however are lucky to fix some of those problems enough for a women to start a relationship, though even in long term relationships, women married to an Aspie guys would see some problems within them and they start to feel uneasy about it. Thats typical in any relationship whether with an NT or Aspie.
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ADHD-PDD/NOS//AS (I am a friend and a menace to society)
Autism, is it in you?
This just made me laugh.........seriously.
Two NT people have the same change of reproducing an aspie than an aspie and a NT.
Although my knowledge of genetics is limited, I CAN tell you that autism is sometimes triggered by a comination of certain genes.
@ ApsieGuy
Asperger has a very strong genetic component. So if you are an Aspie man it is very likely you will hand down this to your children especially if they are boys. Having said that, I fell in love with an Aspie man and I would have married him. Unfortunately he never told me he has Asperger and since I never met anyone else with Asperger before, I did not know how to interpret his behavior (putting his routine before me, rarely responding to emails or phone calls, refusing to go to parties with me and so on). I ended up believing he was just not interested in me as I was in him. I think that the major issue is that Aspies have a really hard time expressing what they feel and if the woman does not know that Asperger is the problem she will end up using what she knows about the meaning of certain NT behaviors to draw her conclusions.
I don't see the sense in avoiding a group of people as romantic prospects for speculative reasons. Virtually any reason one can come up with is speculative, in this case, especially since people don't even really know what autism is: it's just something that manifests itself in a particular collection of behaviours. If you clashed with some particular people who happened to be diagnosed with AS, fair enough, it just seems like you're acting against your own interests if you rule them out immediately.
Now that I'm done defending AS men, yes as far as I can tell AS women on the mean marry more and have more partners. The reason some of the men give here, that being socially awkward or strange doesn't matter quite as much to men seeking women as women seeking men (though after a point, it does matter), seems plausible.
I knew few girls who were socially awkward yet always had bfs. I knew a girl in particular who is terribly socially awkward (she's from a far ret*d village and she doesn't know anything about city's life) , yet she always had bfs from cities , her last bf is even from different religion and a city-folk. She is the most desired girl at work tho (almost EVERY single male wanted to date her when she was single).
My theory is that men love such women because they give the 'Damsel in distress' or "be my support" vibe, men like to be the knights. The bf of this girl acts as her wise-counselor-in-everything-in-life and super protector and she likes it.
Close enough.
Most of the socially-awkward girls I know have few to no girlfriends and are HIGHLY dependent on their boyfriends. They don't necessarily like it, they're just too lonely and don't know where else to get their emotional support if not from some guy who finds them hot enough to them to want to be their boyfriend.
If the boyfriend is really socially normal there will eventually be a problem once he's introduced her to his friends and family. If not, the relationship will simply turn into one with a sickeningly unfair balance of power. Men who approach socially-awkward (or generally unstable) women precisely with the intention to dominate them should be ashamed of themselves.
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