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I've been thinking about this for a while, because I adore DenvrDave and can't help but feel the comment came off in way he never intended. We should ALL be able to feel comfortable here, in the forums that suit us, and I don't think we're talking segregation as much as adjoining rooms. eidself had posted some fighting words, and DenvrDave responded to those words. I didn't react to that one sentence, because the flow of the conversation felt otherwise to me; I didn't feel fight was the gist of it, more an intention to assert space and thus reduce the feel of threat. Which is, actually, something I encourage: often, discomfort in a situation is something we create for ourselves, and make happen, but if you enter a situation more assertively, you overcome that hurdle.

When my family travels, we get along better if we split the girls (mom and daughter) and the boys (father and son) into adjoining rooms. It doesn't mean we don't love each other, or want to interact with each other. It just recognizes that some members of the family (the daughter) have needs that are difficult to meet with the full group around.

Thanks for saying that , DW_a_mom. I was trying to think how to say that I think DenvrDave is a really good guy who responded emotionally to something and I'd hate to see him feel uncomfortable here.

As would I. If my response came across as offensive rather than pointed then I do apologize.

I apologize too. I tend to take things literally, and when I saw the "we need to fight" over the forum language, I reacted emotionally because Parents Discusion is almost the only forum I really feel welcome at, and it has been so helpful to my family. Had I known the other poster didn't really mean it, I would never have written the "prerogative" comment which was pedantic and uncalled for.

No, I don't think you did. I was just thinking that ediself had gotten the impression that DenvrDave was a bombastic person, which he isn't. He just had a moment.

Oh. Then I would like to mention that i did not really know what kind of a person you were , and took your reply as an attempt to twist my words into something they were not. I really have no skill to respond to that sort of attacks, and did not look further than the feeling of unfairness.
What appeared like fighting words in my post was actually a remix of revolutionary speech for ...metaphorical purposes? It was part of a mental image I was trying to create, underlining the fact that i feel there already was a part of the population that felt unwelcome.
The parenting forum has helped me with my issues with my son, has given me very sound tips ( I bought a trampoline based on an advice recieved there, and i do feel grateful for the results of this!)
It works well as it is, and it has a purpose.
It is just a different purpose than the one a forum for autistic parents would serve. It is a different subject.
So, my "pretend fighting words" were indeed not to be taken literally, it was the metaphorical expression of my feeling "opressed" (again, not literally)

MidLifeAspie, I would like to suggest creating a new sticky for the AS Parents thread, instead of using the one brought over from Random. Because that one was originally a poll, I'm not sure how many people will pick up on, "oh, this is where we get talk specifically about issues X." A more clear title and a more clear introductory post would probably make it more homey.

Plus, being a poll, you may end up with debate on there similar to what has already been covered here.

Ie, make the temporary measure as effective as it can be.

That is a good point. I'll get right on it

One thing to consider here too is the fact that us Aspies do not do the emotional language and subtleties well. We communicate and think under different terms than most people in the population. We know this and we are confronted with this every day of our life.
What we respond to is in a different way to people not on the spectrum. I recall many incidences when I was coming back from work and was confronted at the door be my child's Mum (was my wife back then) saying "Look I don't know what has got into him he did ...blah, blah, blah..can you see if you can find out what is going on?"
I would sidle up next to him and relax next to him and with us both looking ahead and chatting say "No a good day today huh? So Mum says X, Y Z. Is that what happened?"
Slowly stuff would come out and I would keep up with it talking it through gently and finally he would be in tears and I would reach down beside me and give him a big squeeze. He would struggle a bit and then relax into me and calm down and things would be OK for him"
She used to disparagingly call it my Autistic thing.
It was not that she did anything "wrong". It was just that her efforts in trying to fin out involved the following

* facing him front on
* talking about feelings
* talking in a "normal" way with inflection and pitch change and such
* trying to make eye contact
* gently hugging him or stroking his arm or hand

All of this was fail.
He responded to my approach not because it was better but because he had weird communication style and found comfort in being approached this way. When he had it out of his system he did need comfort and a deep pressured response what what he craved (He is proprioceptive and tactility hyposensitive).
Why did I do this all instinctively? Because I am the same. The same things I find confronting and anyone approaching me like his Mother did to him I would have found hard to handle.
I am on the spectrum and he is too. We communicate and experience things different.

I would very much like to see this idea carried out, as it's one of the main aspects of Aspergers that I have questions about. I'm not yet a parent, but I am trying, in the wake of my diagnosis, to figure out if it's something I want for my future, and I think it would be good to discuss the possible issues with other people with ASDs that are parents.

I totally agree with you MidlifeAspie! There's gotta be a forum for us Aspie parents! I had no clue I was an Aspie until I began reading about it and looking at all the failed things in my life - social awkwardness, getting and keeping a job, romantic relationships, you name it. And I'm female, so I'm definitely in the minority. Now I have a 10 year old and it's a constant struggle..the main thing I think about all day everyday is how the heck I'm gonna teach him how to social skills and life skills when I've fumbled through it for 29 years?! Never had professional help and damn sure can't afford it, but Google and Wrong Planet has been great resources for me. So has praying and hoping and making an effort.

I have asked that question before where do parents go not to talk about there children needs but there own. I think it would be a great forum.

For now, there is the thread. It hasn't been very active, however. I think if people want to sell Alex on making a forum, you should show the need by making the thread roar.

How would that make a difference? Do you think Alex notices the "busy" threads?

This is an old thread, but perhaps my voice will be appreciated here. I'd love to participate in a forum like this.

Im not sure where to post this but i think i had a meltdown, i have a 14month old baby and im not coping with the mess and the crying . i cant seem to get my routine straight. i have mini routines like how i feed, the order the clean up operation etc but if i cant get her to bed on time it drives me insain, if i fall sleep with her then it causes me great trouble as i havent had the time and quiet to myself.Its like the day never ended. My daughter has been ill alot and i found it all so over whelming as well as trying to adjust to this life with a child, i think im suffering depression too but have been hiding this one. But i found myself building up and usually i would walk away and find quiet but my child wouldnt stop crying and i needed to flea, i was screaming i pooled into a wreck on the floor, i repeatidly hit myself because i couldnt bear my emotions and i wanted it all to stop. i locked myself in the kitchen . i dont know how long it lasted . the shakes lasted along time .But i'm also wondering how i can try to avoid this happening again or try to reduce its intensity. can anyone help me on this?