my dad is a jerk

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My dad always tries to upset/annoy me, he reckons it's preparing me for the outside world but I normally feel like it's his personality as he seems to annoy my mum and my brother a lot too...

Maybe it's a condition I dunno...

Anyway, just do any of the following:

Hit him and state that you can't help it (play on it to annoy him back).
Say something he'll probably not understand thereby insulting his intelligence.

or just ignore him and get your own back in the future.

Seems to work for me.