What was the exact moment

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It was a very long process for me too. I knew I was different very early on. To make sure I hadn't missed it, my mother told me that I have an emotional disability and that it's like the (intellectual) disability my sister has. I identified with a low-functioning autistic boy that went to the same school as my sister. As a child I had friends, as a teen I wanted to have friends but I've always felt isolated in the sense that I didn't connect with "normal" people. I heard about AS in my early twenties. I thought there was something oddly familiar about it, but it didn't click until later.

When a doctor suggested I might have AS, I was still unsure, but as my self-awareness increased and I got to observe myself in different situations, I started to realize that I do have it. The last piece was learning about ADD, which explained some of the things that didn't fit the AS picture.

Therapist: "Ciaran does the word "aspergers" mean anything to you?"
"No"
Therapist: "well it's not something I even close to sure about at this point since this is our first meeting, but it's just an inkling I have from what you've said, it's basically what we use to describe people who are..very happy to be by themselves and like to do things alone again and again, and It's just something that I think we should have a closer look at, okey?"
"Okay"
"And it doesn't necessarily mean you're disabled, a lot of famous people have aspergers, like Bill Gates and -
I interupt - "Microsoft is an oppresive corporation which underpays it's workers and over pays it's executives-"
"-alright well I'm just saying saying that it doesn't necessarily hold you back, it's just a word we use to describe people that are like you - maybe - who are very comfortable by themselves and such, and maybe you can look that up when you go home if you're interested."

Parents told me about my diagnosis when I was about eleven (diagnosed at ten.) So, I was told about four or five years ago.

I have posted on here that I don't really accept my diagnosis yet, but that has since changed. In the past few weeks, I've learned to accept it more. I don't think that I ever will completely, but I have been more contemplative about my diagnosis lately, and I definitely see now that some of my problems can definitely be tied to the fact that I "have" AS. Still not totally comfortable with thinking, "I'm autistic."

One week ago today. So it's right where it's sunk in but still red and raw. I am a well educated, 33 yo mom so am very familiar with Aperger's/ASD. Months ago, my son's teacher told my husband that he cried and screamed and ran during the first school assembly. I said "That sounds like AS" and my husband and I looked up the traits. My son fit them to a T so we started the research. Books, online, everyone I could talk to. Child Study team, sudden feel steam immersion in this world of Autism.

So on my search for more knowledge I came across an article of an adult woman Aspie. She had a pre-rehearsed script for every situation.

Wait a sec....Doesn't everyone do that? I asked my husband. He carefully told me no. I finished the article. There was so much more. I asked him a lot more basic questions about life. His answers surprised me. I looked up more women on the spectrum and found the list of traits (thank you Rudy Simone!). We went over it. I asked my husband if he thought I could have it. "Um YEAH, you didn't see this before?"

So that was that moment.

I remember being woken up by my mum in the morning, was September 2008, and she basically said that she figured out why I was having problems. She found a leaflet she was given when I was 10 back in 98/99 which was about Aspergers. She read through it, then read about it on the net, and showed me when I woke up.

I didn't believe, I didn't want to believe I had any such condition, I was already statemented as a child for Expressive Language Delay, and as having autistic tendencies, but I was thought to have grown out of it, and I no longer wanted to be associated with any condition or "disability", because of the stigma attached. About a month later, after seeing a educational psychologist who basically agreed that I had Aspergers, I was beginning to become curious about it all, so I did my own reading, looked on this forum and read some of the posts from people who had the condition. So many of the symptoms related but I didn't want to believe I had it.

Surprisingly, It was when someone posted about tactile defensiveness and clothed causing irritation that I had to concede that I indeed had this disorder. I was diagnosed about 6-7 months later in June 2010. I have since accepted my condition as a part of myself rather than the definition of myself.

My memory about this isn't great but suspicions by parents were raised by chance in 2006.
I was formally diagnosed in summer 2008. I'm not really sure what I thought of it, but I didn't deny it. I knew I was different, that I couldn't relate to anyone my own age, had obsessions, etc. That goes for a while before the official diagnosis too because I was told that it was pretty much certain probably the year before.

Now and for the past half year or so but especially now, I've really accepted my differences and tried to make the most out of the positives and minimise or avoid the negatives where possible.

A few months ago the therapist I was seeing told me that as she was thinking through everything I had told her about my past and childhood and putting it together with the way my life is now, she thought I might be likely to have it to some degree. I had barely even heard of it before, and had no idea what it was. As a child, I was diagnosed with Tourette's (thankfully the tics went away entirely by the time I was in high school), but nothing about that condition explains countless other things about me that don't fit with any other neurological phenomenon I had ever read about.

After my therapist told me about it, I started reading about it, and immediately the bells started going off. Started seeing things like the phenomenon of walking on one's toes, high IQ but anomalous impairment with learning nonverbal social skills, exceptional vocabulary early on, intense interests and the "little professors" thing, repetitive routines, extremely sensitive sensory acuity, and many others that very much apply to me. Even after taking all the official tests and everything and finding that I fall just a tiny hair short of official diagnosis, knowing that I am unquestionably on the spectrum concisely answers all the questions I ever had about myself.

You may be echolalic. This was mentioned on my first statement aged 5, I would often repeat things on impulse. I still do it lol, recalling adverts ,movie dialogues, song lyrics and stand up routines by mimicking them.

I guess it was shortly after scoring very high on one of those quizzes. My first reaction was, "That's ridiculous. I'm not autistic." But then I started reading about it and realized that it would explain pretty much everything about my life. That's when I sought a professional opinion.

A year or so previously, though, it had crossed my mind. I don't remember why. But I had brushed it off because of the empathy issue. I feel that rather than lacking empathy, I have more than the average person. So since I read that autistic people lack empathy, I couldn't possibly be autistic.

Previous to that, I simply did not know anything about it. As for any difficulties, I tend to carry on through life in my own little bubble, protected by a various people at various times, and somehow manage to get by without any major crises. I've always felt in my heart like I needed more help than the average person, but I sort of buried the thought and pretended that I was normal.

I have always experienced a mild echolalia, but internally. Usually I'll repeat things that I said, wanted to say, or heard someone else say many times and sort of experiment with tone or exact wording to sort of "correct" it. but I never do it out loud. Just out of curiosity, why did you bring that up or suspect that it's the case with me?

That's funny. I've worked in horticulture for 10 years. Talking with a long time customer, she was commenting on how much easier it would be if our place carreid cut flowers as well. I just gave her a glance and smile and asked her why she wanted to give dead flowers to her friend. She looked like I slapped her. I just chuckled and realized she had no clue what I was talking about. Had to do the "once you cut them, they are dead... " speech. She looked like she had an epiphany with a 'wow, I never thought of it that way before..." I mean, how long would your arm remain fresh once you cut it off? It really does seem like a no brainer...

I finally gave in after doing all the research for my daughter. Everything I read was geared toward the childs dx so I was in denial for 2 years before I found Tony Attwoods Asperger's and Girls. The dim bulb instantly grew white hot. I cried. I had honestly given up on ever having a 'normal' life already. Knowing there was a reason why my life turned out the way it did and that I wasn't alone gave me the hope I haven't had for a very long time. I was able to forgive myself. It was a big deal for me.

I'm still very confused about it. The thought first occurred to me in 1997 when I read a book review, and later the book itself, that described some case studies of people who were on the spectrum (but not necessarily AS). I found that my oddness suddenly had a possible explanation. But when I tried to find out more, and looked for professionals who could tell me if I was on the right track, I couldn't find anything or anyone to help me, so I sort of let the issue drop. I had some really bad experiences after that trying to navigate within groups of people, experiences that I could have perhaps avoided if I had known that my oddness could be explained and better understood by me.

I went to get a diagnosis from an AS expert last year, and she confirmed that I am on the spectrum, but I still feel uncertain. There are many AS traits that I don't think I have, and yet there is no other explanation for the particular difficulties that I do have. I'm just really not sure, still.

I would assume that echolalia could be co-morbid with Tourettes as the two conditions are very similar, lots of people thought I had Tourettes when I clearly didn't, it was because I was echolalic and would say/repeat things randomly. I actually do the things you said, only I do it out loud a lot. It's best to do it alone as experience tells me that people will think you're crazy

I've always felt like the odd one, at least as far as I can remember. 2 years ago I started having some issues, responding to things in ways that "normal" people don't, and started looking into it. I researched several different conditions. AS seemed the most likely, but I still wasn't sure as I didn't think I had all the traits to the same degrees as listed in the different descriptions I'd read. Then I was in a book store, looking at some AS-related books. I found Asperger's From the Inside Out by Michael John Carley. I read a story he shared in the introduction about how he tried to comfort a co-worker who was experiencing grief, and he used the exact same thought process I did in similar situations. I nearly cried when I read that. That was my "A-ha!" moment.

Shortly thereafter I found a psychologist experienced in diagnosing AS in adults (I was 35 at the time). She diagnosed me with AS, confirming my suspicion. Interestingly, she said, after the diagnosis, that immediately upon meeting me her first thought was Aspergers, even though during the diagnosis she said I had adapted well and my presentation was very mild.

I didn't know I had it until my mum told me that I had it at the age of 15.

For me, there was no sudden realization. I learned about AS, saw that it fit me very well, and filed it away in my mind as a topic to explore. Over the years, the more I learned about the topic, the more that I found out about people with AS, the more certain that I became.

It took me a long time, because I am suspicious of self-diagnosis of psychological problems. I am quite aware of the various possible pitfalls. It took me a long time for me to build up a case that overcome my objections.