My story.

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Well here's my story, condensed version

3 years ago: my severe eczema improves greatly thanks to a new med, allowing me for the first time in years to go to school for long periods uninterrupted, it begins.

2 years ago: my nervous breakdown due to the pressure of high school I'd never felt before, I drop out of school, shut my self off and go into what I would later know to be called a "shutdown", I try multiple times to return to school but never last more then 3 days before having panic attacks. I fail all my tests

1 year ago: a year of living at night and sleeping during the day and generally trying to avoid the world ends after I try to go to school one last time for the new year of school and fail, the last straw and I finally get up the courage to go to to a therapist, on our first meeting she says she suspects asperger's syndrome.

Febuary this year: after a few months of therapy bringing my sleeping pattern back to a normal setting I attempt to return to school, I fail misserably and shutdown severely for a week, it becomes apperent to my therapist and family that I may have a lot more then aspergers, she believes I may have a severe co-morbid anxiety disorder

Later that month: a very bad thing happens to me, I get major depressive disorder

April: I am officially diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and depression, unbeknowest to anyone I have developed what is most like PTSD do to the bad thing, I have my first hypomanic episode between my depression and am having body dysmorphic problems and bullimic thoughts, I am now going to a therapy clinic for those with complex mental health issues

July: I am dischraged from the clinic, the lead phychistrist explaining there is nothing they can do for me as they are not autism specific and they believe all I have is aspergers, we await my transfer to an autism specific program

August - September: my first very mild Manic episode - I breifly become a danger to myself, my PTSD and depression worsens - self harm begins, Bipolar disorder becomes more likely, body dysmorphia and bullimic thoughts improve.

Now: Filled with pain killers, anti depressents, anti pychotics and coca cola, waiting for funding to go to the only realistic autism program in my nation for adults, all the while deteriorating with no one seeing how little autism seems to do with what's bothering me.

Am I making a mistake going for autism specific service?

I would think that any trained, skilled autism specific programs would know that autism does not usually occur in a vacuum, and that comorbid disorders are common. They should have the skills to treat other disorders like depression and bipolar as well. I do not know this for sure, but I would think so. You have to start somewhere,so I suppose figure out what your most prominent symptoms are and go for that.

My story is a bit similar, but not as severe. People on the spectrum are much more likely to have some form of depression, which is usually related directly to the autism itself. That said, it is also (obviously) possible to have mental instabilities for other reasons. In my case, I have lost about one relative or friend every year for most of my life. Halfway through MS I witnessed my last grandparent die, which put me over the edge. While most of my depressive issues are resolved, I still have some beliefs to which I am seeking a more permanent resolution.


Autistic services can help you with that dx, but given your other issues I can't guarantee you'll necessarily want anything to do with them. The only way to know for sure is to try, and you may go back to them or something similar later.

For psychological issues, you should see a psychologist, a psychotherapist, whoever you need to visit to get better. You may also want to do research online, to find ways to help yourself. Maybe writing about things (securely) will help. Maybe square breathing. All I know for sure is that it is a long process.

I, too, share a similar story to yours - though like the above poster has said, to a lesser degree. It's interesting that you, like me, started to deteriorate rapidly after starting high school. I was good at role-playing, however, and used my anxiety to heighten my awkwardness in order to amuse people. I can now see that that was a mistake. How particular were you in regards to appearance? I've had the hairstyle since primary school (grade school in the States, I presume) and am unable to change my look, but I can't for the life of me figure out why.

I think that at high school level that the social processing of NTs becomes a lot more convoluted and intricate, which is perhaps why so many of us have trouble at this point in our lives. It's like we're "stuck" developmentally, with social "age" varying from aspie to aspie; I'm 24, for example, but have the social grace and maturity of a sixteen-year-old, with mind of a forty-year-old.

I believe that a specialized centre for Autism would be good for you, as they understand the complexities of the condition moreso than other mental health providers. It's sad that you require funding for such things, however, as here in New Zealand the mental health service is mostly free. Governments everywhere need to ensure that all peoples of all socio-economic backgrounds have access to this level of care, especially that Autism and like conditions remain an ever-growing area of need.

Good luck, I hope that you can find some relief amid all these sufferances that plague you.

I don't think it's a mistake going in for autism-specific services. However, I do think you should continue searching outside of that for help if you need it, especially if autism isn't the root of your problems. I wish I knew helpful information I could give you, but that's my advice for now.

One reason doctors might not take your hypomanic episodes seriously is that I think diagnosis requires they last for at least two or three days? This criteria is actually most likely wrong, and is resulting in a lot of people being diagnosed with depression and receiving treatment for that instead of bipolar disorder.