How do you make someone understand?
aspie48
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,291
Location: up s**t creek with a fan as a paddle
I tried to take my opinions to an autism speaks forum. I'll admit it was a stupid idea but i have a cause and i felt like trying to tackle the problem at its root. I am good at making logical arguments, but i seem bad at convincing people. whenever you call someone out on something they seem to just get defensive, it doesn't matter how nice i try to be. people never read my posts as advice, they just look for holes in them and make personal insults. what i am wondering is maybe i don't register on an emotional level with NTs maybe i am just dry reading and i sound like a college professor. yeah, at any rate i am not really doing any good there.
Your talking to people with the mental capacity of a brick wall that's why you can't communicate try dumbing it down if that's possible LOL either that or this is how they perceive your logical thinking
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjn0Yw0mxuk[/youtube]
I personally don't think there's anyway to get through to some people.Particularly NTs who think they know more about autism and are helping us. Or parents who support them because they are poorly educated. I feel like I've wasted my breath on my own family at times. They only people who really understand are people with a high level of intelligence and compassion.
It's a good thing that you are trying to analyze and improve your communication. The reality is that many people with autism do lack the emotional language required to avoid offending other people. All animals including humans make their decisions based on emotion, and it takes quite a bit of effort not to offend people in written communication, one can easily do it, with no intentions of doing it.
You do seem willing to take constructive criticism and act upon it. That will take you a long way in life, however it seems you over analyze life as many people with autism do, which at times can lead to unecessary worries.
You seem to be drifting back to the idea, a bit, that the folks in the world that aren't autistic are all bad; it's not the people that are intrinsically bad, the world is a pretty tough place for most people now, and it reflects in their behavior.
And it has nothing to do with neurology. There are as many nice non-autistic folks out there as there are autistic folks, it's just a matter of learning to understand the variety of personality that exists in everyone.
If you don't feel comfortable on the autism speaks website, it's probably mostly because you hold an opinion that differs from most others over there. That's no big deal, in every area of conversation there are going to be those that oppose each other strongly on what they believe in. And on the internet people say things to others they would never say, if it were a person to person conversation. That applies to everyone.
I have learned a few things pertaining to such matters.
1. People, in general, aren't logical. Particularly NTs.
2. People are generally adverse to advice unless they ask for advice. And are adverse to advice they do not want to hear.
3. On the topic of parents asking for advice on their children on the spectrum, they are more likely to listen to advice from another parent than someone on the spectrum, because of number 1, people in general aren't logical.
If you post a link to one of your posts you feel was ill received, I will look it over and try to give you feedback as to why you might be having this problem.
I joined the Autism Speaks forum about a week ago just to see what the fuss was about. Indeed there are some crazies on there, in particular Anti-vax crazies I think its a place for them to let out their bitterness.
But in truth it really is not a very active community.
However I will stay and check in sometimes.
Just chalk it up to the fact that a lot of folks over at autism speaks really don't want to listen to any opinion other than their own. The fact that you have a different viewpoint makes you an idiot and a target. So either don't post there, or grow thicker skin…
_________________
?No great art has ever been made without the artist having known danger? ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
You can't convince somebody who is in direct and emotional opposition to you. (Just go to PPR- you can see it never works on any forum.) But that's not who you really reach. The people you really reach are the lurkers who are reading the thread and haven't made up their mind yet about something. You will never get any feedback from these people (they are lurking), you will just have to trust that they are there. It is because of them that it is still worth your time to make well-reasoned arguments and give advice. The people who will take your advice are not participating in the thread. They are lurking and reading it.
Yeah I think Janissy's right your words aren't completely wasted . I've lurked a few sites before.
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