New here with question about high school

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I've got this wonderful 16 (nearly 17) year old son who has PDD-NOS, constantly struggling with getting school work done. We've got all the meds straightened out but in 10th grade for the second time. Simply can't seem to do his homework. The more we try to coax, bribe, just mention, yell - you name it we've tried it the more he "shuts down".


Help --- any ideas, suggestions words of wisdom??????

Rhonda

Can you be a little more descriptive about exactly what happens when he tries to do his homework? Is it possible that he's just too exhausted at that point?

My son, who is now in his 20's, swears that high school would have been SO much easier for him without being in a fog all the time from his meds. About two years ago, he was of legal age and weaned himself off his meds without telling us and now says that his thinking and reactions are much more lucid. I'm not saying that stopping meds is the answer for your son, but are you really sure that some of them aren't dulling him too much? If so, maybe there's a substitute that would be better?

When I say he shuts down it's pretty much that - he'll just sit there, not say anything, not read, not pick up pen or pencil, not respond to our questions. I think he's trying not to have a meltdown. He has a long history of some pretty severe meltdowns. I'm sure he is exhausted if for no other reason than the long day. I would much prefer he wasn't on half of the meds that he's on but without this one or that one previous destructive behaviors return. When we do finally get to a point that he can talk to us, he says that he just can't do his homework because he doesn't think that he can do it or get it perfectly right. We've spent years trying to convince him that it doesn't have to be perfect it just needs to be done. The psychologist has worked with him on this for years too. A big problem seems to be that no one can find a "reward" that motivates him - including himself. I am so frustrated - and so is he - because he needs to get through high school. A GED test is not an option for him because of his anxieties.

Does he have an academic support period or study hall at school? Some of us have found that our kids can do their homework better in a period like that. It does tend to cost an elective, but if that is what they need, that is what they need.

Well, of course you would want doing homework to be a rewarding experience to motivate him to do that.
But, for aspies, our brains work differently, and a reward isn't something someone can just give to you or that you can just get.
Maybe it's just me, but making doing homework interesting is far more rewarding than any other kind of reward I could get.
And usually, the most interesting thing involves my special area of interest. (Well, duh...)

It's hard to say exactly what you should do, each person is different and their area of special interest varies.
And I'm not a professional, so I'm not sure how you can use someone's special area of interest to make homework interesting.

But, maybe this helps...

tl;dr: Make homework interesting for him and not just a task with a reward.


EDIT: Also, make sure he gets plenty of sleep so he has energy to think about doing homework.

How about getting a reduction of the amount of homework in his IEP? Change the grading so that if he can demonstrate mastery of the info, he doesn't have to produce so much homework to pass. Downside is he can't get this accommodation in college if he goes...

Accommodations are possible in college. That's covered by the ADA (in the US). I had a total block when it came to homework. I was exhausted. It seemed pointless make work since I already understood the subject. I couldn't get started.
It just seemed totally unfair. A reduction in the amount of homework might be a good idea. The sheer volume can be overwhelming especially if the kid is exhausted. School is more exhausting for a kid on the spectrum than teachers or parents realize. It's hard just to be there.

Also, has he tried any computer learning yet? We have a charter school locally where the entire curriculum is online...