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Inability to successfully navigate a bureaucracy?

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Gallia
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02 Apr 2018, 5:49 am

kotshka wrote:

Try thinking of it as a game. Learn the rules, and then you can manipulate the situation and get what you want. These people just want to feel important and powerful - constantly apologize for "taking up their time" (ie expecting them to do their job) and thank them for doing things they should be doing anyway, and you might find you get very different results.


im gonna have to try this! currently engaged in endless bureaucratic ping pong with my university's management and i really feel like throwing the ping pong table on the floor *struggles to breathe* :skull: :skull: :twisted:


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chortler
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02 Apr 2018, 6:08 am

kotshka wrote:
Bureaucracy sucks and it seems that the only people ever employed in bureaucratic jobs are those who despise the human race and are on a power trip. There's absolutely no excuse for treating people the way they do, and no reason why anyone should have to deal with it.

Well, except for one: we have to. It's part of life and part of the way the world works. It's stupid and unfair, but there's nothing you can do about it, and if you don't learn to deal with it, you'll never get anywhere.


'People being drawn and quartered in the town square is just a part of life. Likewise, if we didn't drown the witches, we'd be treated badly and we'd never get anywhere.'

kotshka wrote:
If you can learn to look people in the eye, carry on a normal conversation, or respond correctly to social niceties like "how are you?", it shouldn't be too difficult to fake a smile and pretend you're grateful for something you're not.


But at what point does the negative effect on your consciousness outweigh the benefit of playing along with 'normal' conversation. To what extent do you fake and pretend before it ruins you?



BeaArthur
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03 Apr 2018, 5:16 pm

There are techniques you can use to get around it. Example, you want to protest about the band director cheating your kid out of a prize they earned. You call the principal's office and request an appointment. Secretary wants to know what it's about. You say "I really can't discuss it with anyone but Principal Jones." "Principal Jones is very busy this week, is there something I can help you with?" "No, I really need to talk to Principal Jones." (repeat x 3) Still getting nowhere: "I'd really rather not have to escalate this to the Superintendent if I can resolve it by talking to Principle Jones." said politely but firmly - it's a threat, in fact.

Books on assertiveness have lots of great techniques for this sort of thing - and are really helpful to most aspies.


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