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EGGREGUYOUS
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 236
Location: United States

12 Mar 2012, 2:09 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTJo1i60zLI[/youtube]
"Black Cotton, the symbol for unrewarded struggle."

Exactly as it says, unrewarded struggle. I have tried so hard all my life to be competent or even appreciated in the slightest and you know what? I got it!

Then: People trusted my amazing ability to psychologically profile people and analyze behaviors, I could look at anybody and tell you their life.
Now: I don't even know what I'm thinking!

Then: I used to be so focused at school, just finish most of my stuff in the classroom.
Now: Always late to school, always late work, always fail tests, always *ucking fail!

Then: I thought I had social interaction understood!
Now: What is interaction?

Then: I had something that I looked forward to everyday when I came home from school.
Now: The only crap I come home to now are control, aggravation, hate, tears, shame. So bored that all I do is *ucking master*ate the s**t out of my D.

Then: Was Asexual.
Now: Huge pervert, "Nephew? Who cares?"

I smell like s**t but I shower everyday and put on deodorant.

Severely Depressed all day and night.

I couldn't analyze anything even if my life depended on it.

Had a good relationship with my mom but now we hate each other.

Everything I was is now lost and recycled, and for what? Why did it get taken from me? What the hell is going on?!
All I'm doing now is self destructing behavior. I just don't give a *uck.

Why should I keep trying if I'm just going to get screwed in the end? I don't want to try anything unless I know that I'll be able to keep what I gain.

I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, my personality changes with every room I walk into and with the different times of the day.
How the hell am I still able to think!?

Then: Clean room
Now: Mountains

Then: No desire for suicide.
Now: Seriously considering.

Flaw for Star Wars story line, you cannot just die from no will of living, if that was possible, I'd be dead.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH5hPl9SfQ[/youtube]


_________________
There's got to be a God somewhere, someone who cares. I stay on bended knee and hope the Father answers prayers.


muslimmetalhead
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2011
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,500

15 Mar 2012, 6:49 pm

EGGREGUYOUS wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTJo1i60zLI[/youtube]
"Black Cotton, the symbol for unrewarded struggle."

Exactly as it says, unrewarded struggle. I have tried so hard all my life to be competent or even appreciated in the slightest and you know what? I got it!

Then: People trusted my amazing ability to psychologically profile people and analyze behaviors, I could look at anybody and tell you their life.
Now: I don't even know what I'm thinking!

Then: I used to be so focused at school, just finish most of my stuff in the classroom.
Now: Always late to school, always late work, always fail tests, always *ucking fail!

Then: I thought I had social interaction understood!
Now: What is interaction?

Then: I had something that I looked forward to everyday when I came home from school.
Now: The only crap I come home to now are control, aggravation, hate, tears, shame. So bored that all I do is *ucking master*ate the sh** out of my D.

Then: Was Asexual.
Now: Huge pervert, "Nephew? Who cares?"

I smell like sh** but I shower everyday and put on deodorant.

Severely Depressed all day and night.

I couldn't analyze anything even if my life depended on it.

Had a good relationship with my mom but now we hate each other.

Everything I was is now lost and recycled, and for what? Why did it get taken from me? What the hell is going on?!
All I'm doing now is self destructing behavior. I just don't give a *uck.

Why should I keep trying if I'm just going to get screwed in the end? I don't want to try anything unless I know that I'll be able to keep what I gain.

I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, my personality changes with every room I walk into and with the different times of the day.
How the hell am I still able to think!?

Then: Clean room
Now: Mountains

Then: No desire for suicide.
Now: Seriously considering.

Flaw for Star Wars story line, you cannot just die from no will of living, if that was possible, I'd be dead.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH5hPl9SfQ[/youtube]


It's not worth anything.


_________________
"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive"