Aspergers as an excuse?
I am sure that many people here are dealing with serious issues. The problem I see, however, is when they take a severe case, for instance, those 40% of autistics who can't read and write, and use the very understandable public sympathy generated to go out, and then tell the world that one in eighty eight children in America falls under the autistic diagnosis as well. There are the real true, legitimate cases, and then there are all the rest, who should be placed into an entirely different category.
Sometimes it can look like we are using it as an excuse but we are not. We are just trying to explain to them why something is hard for us or why we are acting a certain way or why we said the wrong thing. I admit it does look that way so I avoid saying I have it.
My aspergers is the reason, not really an excuse that my marriage is in peril...I need to accept the impact it has had and make changes for me, other AS will continue to impact on me in the futue. I have told some other people, but only those who could understand what it is and the impact it has had on my family. to be honest some of my family don't even get it.
Sweetleaf
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Yeah, the "pretending to be normal" wears me out.
not only does it wear me out, but I kind of fail at it...so it's sort of pointless anyways.
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We won't go back.
I am disappointed that people, NTs, would tell someone that Aspergers is an excuse. Having said this, I'm among those who have been ignorant about high functioning autism and the spectrum. But I would not even consider thinking Aspergers as an "excuse".
I agree, with individual situations, struggles, and just plain life, there are indeed "reasons".
In my case with recently diagnosed ADD, I have been reluctant to even tell people about my diagnosis. I've considered that this is the type of response I would get. I've already been told by the father of a young hyperactive ADDer that "everyone thinks they have ADD". He was the first stranger (in a casual social group) I told that I had ADD.
I think the public could use some curiosity of their own to get out or on reliable channels and "become informed".
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Intelligent middle-aged female diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, SPD a few years ago. Social difficulties and continued struggles with executive and cognitive function.
I think everyone - AS and NT alike - has a responsibility to behave appropriately and treat other people with respect, to the absolute best of their ability.
But in the case of accidental rudeness, AS does help me to forgive myself, quickly apologize for my mistake, and in some cases offer an explanation as to why I'm prone to social misunderstandings.
Though I do use it as an 'excuse' to be different, in terms of dressing in a way that's comfortable for me, choosing activities that are meaningful to me, and having a different approach to socializing, than what most people consider 'normal'. If someone pushes me to do something that would make me feel really uncomfortable (but it's 'fun' to them) - I have no problem using Asperger's as an excuse for why I don't want to do that.
(...)
ANYWAY, yes, if you're using it to get out of taking responsibility for bad behaviour, stop it. You're just adding to the stereotype and making it harder for us all.
Spot on! Thanks for writing my exact thoughts.
Taking responsibility, even if the act may have been related to Aspergers, is important.
Exactly. I've gotten a bad taste from some even here who don't take responsibility for their own lives, blaming asperger's/etc. for their actions.
The subheading "online resource and community" at the top should be changed to:
"Taking responsibility, even if the act may have been related to Aspergers, is important."
Apparently, some parents use it as an excuse to allow their children to behave badly. The person who said that, I ended up giving her a bit of a telling off.
Whilst my Autism may explain why I act the way I do, I don't use it as an excuse. I wouldn't use it as an excuse to get away with something either.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
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Posts: 34,470
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Whilst my Autism may explain why I act the way I do, I don't use it as an excuse. I wouldn't use it as an excuse to get away with something either.
Well define bad behavior, it varies...maybe what one person sees as 'bad' behavior is simply different behavior. In my opinion the only behavior that is bad is intentionally trying to cause physical and or psychological damage to others and I suppose breaking or stealing things of that persons.
As for the whole excuse for behavior thing....I think it gets rather complicated. I mean on one hand autism does not make one immune to doing bad things nor is it an excuse to do so. But I know mental disorders including autism can influence behavior quite a lot. For instance if someone with autism has a meltdown they might not be in full control of their actions in which case it would be the disorder causing the 'bad' behavior. Same with the negative outlook that comes with depression, typically the individual is not intentionally only looking for the negatives, its they literally cannot see the positives even if they do make their best effort. But that is not using mental illness as an excuse that is more of an explanation.
I mean the whole point of mental disorders is they effect your thinking and behavior, then you have people going on about how even so much as a description of how a certain mental issue interferes with someones functioning is some excuse.......its like these people are so brain dead they forget the part about 'effects thinking and behavior.' I mean no matter how much you explain it to people like that its like they cannot get it through their thick skull that no you can't just turn it off at will and act normal and/or stay calm in every situation. Sorry for the rant but a lot of my family is like that and it angers me...I mean I almost yelled and my grandma over it, almost punched my dad in the face because he decided to say ignorant things after I had been set off by something(he was drunk and tends to get a little bit too sure of himself if that makes any sense) and my dads the understanding parent anyways I wont derail this any further with my ramblings.
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We won't go back.
CyborgUprising
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I have never used it as an excuse for anything. The fact that I don't tell people about it and remaining anonymous if I do talk about it further supports this fact. I am odd/quirky; I know it and everyone else knows it, but I don't go around blaming the Asperger's. People think we make excuses for odd behavior/inappropriate conduct by blaming it on some condition, but those people tend to be mainly composed of trolls, those who dislike people with certain conditions and ignorant, uninformed individuals.
That is because some people don't believe in mental illnesses or disorders or take them seriously.
They wouldn't tell a person in a wheelchair that they are using being paralyzed as an excuse to not walk up the stairs.
That is because some people don't believe in mental illnesses or disorders or take them seriously.
They wouldn't tell a person in a wheelchair that they are using being paralyzed as an excuse to not walk up the stairs.
quote out of context much?
This is the true quote
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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200
Exactly. I've gotten a bad taste from some even here who don't take responsibility for their own lives, blaming asperger's/etc. for their actions.
The subheading "online resource and community" at the top should be changed to:
"Taking responsibility, even if the act may have been related to Aspergers, is important."
Hehe, thanks
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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200
No worries, I just had to correct it quickly to avoid a potential s**tstorm coming my way.
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AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200
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