It isn't fair

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It isn't fair being an Aspie. I don't really know anything about love. As far as I know, I attract 0 people. I can't even understand any girl at all. It really hurts me to realize the person I love may never love me because I can't comprehend.. Or maybe she thinks I can't comprehend. It's really confusing. >.<

You're right -- it definitely isn't fair NT Women speak almost entirely non-verbally. It's funny to watch them, sometimes, have entire conversations that are entirely contrary to what they mean as a sort of game play.

As hard as we have it, we're better off than alot of other people. War, disease, starvation etc. And there are far worse cases of autism. I'm thankful.

If hope is what you need, you can always find some in yourself, or in another.

Don't give up communicating, its difficult at first, but not impossible, and generally can get easier with age if you put your mind to it.

Not saying you haven't already, but their are aspects you can work on, and those you can't change, learning to know one from the other is the key.

Thanks.

He pretty much summed up what I had to say, but I do have some things I'd liek to add.

Not trying to be rude, but Life™, in general, isn't fair. Sometimes Life™ deals us a very sh***y hand (using a poker analogy here) to work with. You can either fold or use that hand to your advantage. Rather than look at the disadvantages of Asperger's, use it to your advantage. Read up more on it (if you haven't already) and see how you can benefit from it. There's a LOT of ways to do so. Like me, for example, I'm the guy to turn to when others need help on their homework or class assignment in college. Sure these aren't long-lasting friendships, but I am using my skills to my advantage, and who knows? Maybe one of the people I'll help will be someone I can really connect with, and her and me will hook up? The possibilities are out there. It's all a matter of mindset, determination, and persistence.

Don't give up. Just be yourself and use Asperger's to your advantage, rather than your disadvantage. Use your Asperger's to help others. It's what I do with mine.

Yes life sucks and it's not fair. The sooner you realize/recognize that those without AS are all screwed up and cannot express themselves openly and honestly the better off you will be.

Love is rather subjective anyway. Get a cat or a dog and you'll be much better off.

Good luck.

I hope things improve!

Well, on the bright side there are lots of people who have it far worse. In terms of neurological issues I can think of at least a few off the top of my head that I'd much rather die than deal with.

I know you're being sarcastic (and I laughed!), but this brings up one of those weird social rules that I have never understood (or, perhaps, don't want to face). The rule is: if someone else is as bad off or worse than you, you feel better. That seems counterintuitive to me. I feel worse when I find out someone else is worse. Am I not supposed to?

Actually I'm not being sarcastic at all. Here's the reason its generally supposed to make you feel better - not because your thanking your luck you aren't them as much as the fact that you look at the pain they have to endure on a day to day basis, realize that your is nothing comparitively, and realize your being whiney. I think everyone needs to do that when they can because while it doesn't solve all your problems its one of those little tricks that helps keep you sane through em.

I can't understand males if they hit me in the face. I'm pretty bad on the empathy sort of thing, I don't want to play stupid NT games, and the guy takes that as "not having compassion"

While we definately have it worse, NT's seem just as confused about love as a concept as we do. And it's not like they don't screw up most of the time. But yeah, we DO have it worse, overall....

Heh... If you're desperate for affection (or even just confused and seeking answers), I can think of 2 things that might help you.

1. Given the Aspie mindset, learn to think like a hacker (you have an inherent advantage here). Assess human emotions and mannerisms in as logical of a way as you can ponder, observe the causes and effects of certain behaviors (such as oh... the "3 dates before kissing" thing.), and look for love from a logical standpoint. Read potential mates the way computer crackers read programs (it isn't nearly as cold as it sounds). Mastering this, you will become a hacker yourself, but of human emotion, not computer code.

(Short lesson against a bad generalization: Despite the 'password stealing identity thief website-destroying robber!' connotation, we are NOT like that at all. In fact most hackers, I've heard, dislike the people who do that kind of thing; it makes the group as a whole look bad AND most who do the bad things aren't particularly well-versed in any form of programming either (read: completely inept and using pre-made password-cracking programs) .)

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2. Look for someone within the mindset, someone who can relate. I can't really get away with saying "misery loves company" as most of us seem rather cheery on this board. ;p Takes an Aspie to know an Aspie, unless you find the incredibly rare NT that has bothered to actually learn about it.

(takes an Aspie to know one) heh. funny thing is that females having A.S. is very very very rare. and this girl who is very close to me (saying we're girlfriend and boyfriend is not, but saying we're completey single is not ere, best way to explain it is that we're close) has it. The one thing I've found with being an Asper and dating is to just be yourself. it works, and not to mention, if you've got a way with words, you have a good chance.

I'm sorry this is the type of interaction you've had with males in the past... Truly we're not all out to hurt women...

Though the sad fact is it happens too often.

I hope at least through these forums you've found a way to at least connect with some men in a way you feel safe.