Conflicted

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Hello,

I'm kind of new at the whole message board thing, but I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual-leaning towards lesbian. The thing is, I find guys attractive - especially hockey players, but I don't really think of them the same way I do women. I don't really think of them in a sexual manner. With women, I see beauty and charm and I get a feeling in my stomach that isn't like anything I get with men I find attractive.

I've told some people about it - including my older, half-brother who doesn't live with us, but I'm really afraid to come out to the rest of my family. They're not homophobic, but I'm just not sure they'll believe me or that they'll feel the same way about having a gay daughter as they would supporting someone non-related to them. I just don't want to make a mistake, but I feel trapped not being able to talk about it and let it out. I'm me, but I can't be all of me around them. I'm not sure what to do.

Anyway, I need to get to bed. Thanks for reading.

Another bisexual leaning towards lesbian here. I'm in a long term relationship with a man, but tbh it's not based much on sex. Sex is just something we do once in a blue moon. Intimacy is important for me, though.

As for being out to your family...I sort of am. I am British though and it's just not something you discuss with your family. My mother is also a bit homophobic about lesbians and my dad is about gay men. I've already told my mum that I don't want the big wedding and the kids, so I think she's sort of given up hope on me She just wants me to be happy. I think she has got over her expectations and would be okay if I was in a relationship with an alien as long as I was happy. I still can't be 'all of me' around my parents, but no-one from a reserved, old-fashioned British family can be, really.

I sometimes think about a relationship with a guy and I picture it kind of like that, with not a lot of sex, but is that fair? I mean, I know it's not everything and if you love someone it probably doesn't matter, but I also don't know if I could feel that strongly for a man. I haven't had that kind of feelings for a guy yet, it's just been girls who I've been strongly attracted to.

I think part of the problem I'm so uncomfortable with telling people is that I don't really have anyone else to talk to because pretty much all my friends are straight and although the ones that know have been supportive of me, I don't want to keep talking about it when I'm having problems because I feel like I'm pushing my problems onto them and it's not fair.

Not that'd it be fair to go on ranting to someone who is bi or lesbian, but I feel like I would be understood better because chances are they know where I'm coming from. It's not easy being told you should just come out by someone who doesn't know what it's like. It's not even just coming out, though. It's just hard that I don't really have anyone to talk to about LGBT things, so it's a part of myself I can't express.