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Palakol
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08 Jul 2012, 4:03 pm

I saw someone post this on Facebook, and I put up a comment disagreeing which resulted in a conversation several hours long, and I turned out to be the bad guy (to the other guy's friends) for standing my ground. I posted examples, some real scenarios, of how all that "being simple" crap doesn't work in real life. (I used the topic of interpersonal relationships to illustrate.) Apparently people started messaging him about how he can still be friends with a guy like me, and I really didn't know what I did wrong. He wasn't offended though and told me about it. (He's one of those people, kind of nerdy, not too popular but well-liked, but I think has genuinely good intentions.) Anyway, here is the supposedly inspirational photo:

Image

Anyone else think this is bullsh*t? Nothing, especially not interpersonal relationships, is ever that simple. And that's what I tell everyone I see posting rubbish like this, or some similarly-themed Paolo Coelho quote. I don't know, but that's what I think personally. If everything were as simple as they claim it to be I probably would have it all figured out right now. Or at the very least 70% of it. Because last time I checked I'm not exactly stupid. I can do basic math and shapes and stuff. [/joke]

What do you think?



InThisTogether
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08 Jul 2012, 4:11 pm

Of course nothing in life is that simple.

But I do think that many people tend to over-complicate things. I do not believe the post is meant to be taken literally, but rather as a reminder that sometimes simple does work. Sometimes the answer does not need to be a multistep process that is the result of extensive analysis.

The fact that people were asking your friend why he is friends with you is ludicrous. Anyone who would get that bent out of shape about something like this is...well, kind of sad, really. Who would choose their friends based on whether or not they subscribe to the same platitude?

This is one reason why I really despise FB and will probably never have an account. Arguing about stuff like that really does make one's life too complicated IMHO.



Marcia
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08 Jul 2012, 4:14 pm

As general principles, yes, the comments in the poster seem to me to be sensible. There will obviously be times when things aren't simple, but people often over-complicate things unnecessarily.



paxfilosoof
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08 Jul 2012, 4:14 pm

I think the persons who post such a things is a typical neurotypical :)

I think you just need to ignore such a stupid posts on facebook tbh ;)
Just think in yourself, omg wtf is he/she posting??

Of course this simple rules doesn't work, and I have seen lately many people post such a things.
I think it's a typical trend today, what I mean many people say such a things without truly meaning it (EGO at work).
If we observe humans you could easily conclude that such a things are just illusions and they don't work.
Our adaptation in social interaction is much more complicated than that.

I hope this helped?



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08 Jul 2012, 4:14 pm

It would be lovely if life were actually that simple...


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08 Jul 2012, 4:17 pm

I have to admit I like the picture, Palakol. It 'resonates' with me, as they say. I don't think it oversimplifies things, rather the suggestions 'call', 'invite', etc. ... aren't really full solutions to problems in life, as much as they are 'first steps', so to speak.

Still, I think the people who sent your friend messages asking how he could be friends with you, were out of line.


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btbnnyr
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08 Jul 2012, 4:21 pm

Personally, I feel that I can only keep it simple when it comes to relationships and interactions, because I don't understand or eggsperience the complexities that most people do.



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08 Jul 2012, 4:26 pm

Marcia wrote:
As general principles, yes, the comments in the poster seem to me to be sensible. There will obviously be times when things aren't simple, but people often over-complicate things unnecessarily.

This.

It's not a list of bad ideas. They are good suggestions for living a healthy, adjusted life, assuming you can find the appropriate times for them. The problem is calling those things simple. The right thing to do is rarely the simple one. The degree of honest communication suggested by the picture inevitably leads to heavy, complicated discussion and conflict/conflict resolution.


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Joe90
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08 Jul 2012, 4:32 pm

Well, I suppose these are good guidelines to perhaps help you in certain situations to a degree. Reading things like this sometimes does help me with my anxiety/depression.


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Palakol
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08 Jul 2012, 4:33 pm

The first two don't bother me. That's how it should be. But if I could make my own version:

Wanna be understood? ... go see your therapist
Have questions? ... Google it
Don't like something? ... avoid it
Like something? ... acknowledge it
Want something? ... work your ass of, then buy it
Love someone? ... show it

I have noticed that I don't sound like the friendliest person over the internet. A lot of people delete my comments, or remove me completely from their contact list. Whatever though, I only use Facebook so stalk chicks anyway. [/jokes]



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08 Jul 2012, 4:39 pm

Oh the irony, you didn't like it, so you said so, just as this keep it simple message suggested.. You get berated for it.

This just shows that life isn't that simple. Funny how an aspie actually follows these rules on a day-to-day basis, but unfortunately real-life doesn't tolerate people being so direct.

Jason



Palakol
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08 Jul 2012, 4:43 pm

Jtuk wrote:
Oh the irony, you didn't like it, so you said so, just as this keep it simple message suggested.. You get berated for it.

This just shows that life isn't that simple. Funny how an aspie actually follows these rules on a day-to-day basis, but unfortunately real-life doesn't tolerate people being so direct.

Jason

Hahaha. Didn't see that one. Nice.



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08 Jul 2012, 4:46 pm

I believe the picture says "dont like something....say it" well you did didnt you =) and the rest of them can DEAL WITH IT!! =)



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09 Jul 2012, 4:53 pm

I have seing similar posts. The base idea is good, it is meant to people who thinks too much about things. The bottom message is communication will make things easier. And in a general context, it does. Funny thing: I am supposedly NT married to an Aspie, and I am the one with communication issues: I am the one who do not call, invite, explain, ask, say, state, ask, tell. I usually do not want to bother or think too much about the consequences and end up doing nothing. In that aspect, the message is right: I only make things more complicated.



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09 Jul 2012, 5:10 pm

I guess I must be morbid because what I get from looking at the picture of someone sitting on the edge of a tall building is that they are going to simplify things by jumping off the edge.This is just my first visual impression.



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09 Jul 2012, 5:45 pm

Palakol wrote:
Jtuk wrote:
Oh the irony, you didn't like it, so you said so, just as this keep it simple message suggested.. You get berated for it.

This just shows that life isn't that simple. Funny how an aspie actually follows these rules on a day-to-day basis, but unfortunately real-life doesn't tolerate people being so direct.

Jason

Hahaha. Didn't see that one. Nice.


That's just what I was about to say. And your version of the list makes more sense, I can see how a lot of the suggestions in the first can backfire.