Pushing people away!
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom
I'm not on the spectrum.
You'd need to share the context of when people say you are "pushing people away".
It could be that it's said at the social level, how people perceive you're different to an NT who is generally attracted to company. Perhaps at work, you dont do small talk, and then people think you "are pushing them away". NTs will perceive that as negative instead of neutral. NTs are very needy - we need stroking and comforting to remember we are liked.
Or are you "pushing" close people away? NTs who have reason to think you should have a close tie to them, like family and relationships?
Does it feel to them that you are disinterested in their interests and their lives? That might feel like you are pushing people away. Or perhaps you do things, that look to an NT, like you don't care about them, when in fact you do.
Yes, if you gave a bit more detail it would help. I can push people away to a certain extent. I by no means thrive on conversation so if I happen to be having one I would like it to be worthwhile. Nothing irritates me more in the social world than people that do nothing but small talk. I would even rather someone argue with me than give me endless small talk (despite my dislike of confrontation) As it is simply talking for the sake of talking. I also tend to avoid people I know I have very little in common with. We are all different, so if 2 people discover they have little in common with each other it just seems futile to continue talking with them regularly.
If I'm right, it could mean that you don't like the company of people and you reject their invitation to a public event. You always say "no" to people or make up an excuse for not hanging around with them because there's nothing about them that interests you. This is part of the spectrum too. I push people away and I've been told that I'm boring just because I don't enjoy their company and their social events.
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"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" -Marilyn Monroe
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