Does aspergers get harder as you get older?

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Zizu58
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01 May 2016, 12:12 pm

JoeRose wrote:
I've just turned 19 and for the past couple of years I've had more difficulty than I've ever had with social interaction.

When I was younger it just seemed easier. I was always a little weird and introverted but could kind of keep a conversation going. Now it seems like everythings changed and I'm literally lost without no hope of ever having a "decent conversation" again. I think it might be due to the fact everyones getting older and people are doing more socially sophisticated things.
In the past I used to be able to just kind of chip in in group conversations, we'd all play video games and we'd play games and stuff that didn't involve any direct conversation.
Nowadays it just seems like every social gathering is about going out and drinking, going to town etc etc.

I can't hack it.

anybody else find their social difficulties get harder when you get older?


This is a funny one for me .

I'd say as I got older my issues and traits have got more intense or more of a problem ( hard to explain) BUT at the she time I've got mire stubborn or stroppier or self assured so I find it easier to say NO to a party or a wedding. Or whatever ....



lostonearth35
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01 May 2016, 12:33 pm

In some ways it gets harder, in other ways it gets easier. I live on my own now, I no longer have to live with other people who try to force me to be something I'm not. No one is going to lecture me or even punish me for having meltdowns or make me go with them to some get-togethers and tell me to socialize instead of just sitting in a corner by myself away from all the chaos. I can privately indulge in my hobbies and special interests without judgement or ridicule. The fact that I'm not in school any more, which is the worst place at all. Teens are so incredibly cruel and don't value other kids who don't copy them like a mindless clone in order to fit in.

Adults aren't constantly told by other adults what they're always telling kids what to do. Adults don't tell other adults to play with the other adults and share their things with them. One major downside to being an aspie adult however, is all the responsibilities. You're expected to suddenly be able to move out and be on your own the second you turn 18. Getting a job at all is a huge challenge, let alone one that is suitable for an aspie. I've read about aspies actually getting married and even having kids. I don't know how they do it, because that's personally my worst nightmare and-a-half come true. 8O



League_Girl
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01 May 2016, 12:45 pm

I think it was a lot easier when I was little because it wasn't hard to play with other kids. They are playing jump, you play the game too or you all play on the swings or play ground and that was simple and playing tag. I had that ability but when I got to around 4th grade it started to get hard because interests changed, kids start to just chit chat and I always found that boring. I was never interested in what they talked about. They were also in a rush to grow up. I was still that little girl and I got left behind socially. All of a sudden I had very poor social skills so it was like I had regressed. I didn't know how to approach people anymore. When I was little I would just follow them if I wanted a new friend and that didn't go well either most of the time and even my own so called friends hated when I followed them. I realize now them telling me to not follow them was them rejecting me and I didn't know that then. By 6th grade I was all isolated from my peers because no one wanted me around. Social rules change and so do kids because they get into small talk and social chit chat and just talk about things they don't care about. I think it's a lot easier to make friends as a child than it is as a adolescent or adult. I can go to social groups and not be able to make a friend. I have gone to video game groups and aspie groups play groups and no friends still. I have talked to people yes so it's like I can have conversations off and on depending on what we talk about. But I can just talk about something I know nothing about or can't relate to or when something isn't my interest. Plus I still get too self conscious because I don't want to do anything wrong.


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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Summer_Twilight
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01 May 2016, 6:49 pm

I also had an easy time before the age of 13 because everyone liked Disney things as well as sharing everything in common. Especially a close childhood friend. All of that changed when she suddenly got into boys at age 12 next to putting on make up and growing up. Suddenly she was making fun of me and giving me the hint that he didn't want to hang out or talk on the phone as much because she didn't want to hear my limited interests. (The same topic over and over again).

During Jr High
1. Kids teased me until they discovered that I had a gift in singing
2. I was friend with two distinct people who I connected with.
A. 7th Grade I associated with another female that fell apart by the end of the year because I said something to make her cry along with having our teachers, para's and parents get mad. She was also bitter at me for a long time
B. I connected with a male student during 7th grade in art class and we hung out through all of 8th grade
3. During 9th grade they both bonded and suddenly showed a lack of interest in me as well as think they were so much more mature than I was.

High school and my early twenties were hard because
1. They could find something to date and I could not get a date if I tried
2. No one was interested in coming to my parties



otherside2501
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01 May 2016, 8:23 pm

For me, it has become exponentially more difficult. I'm 34, and I'd wager a guess that (as far as relationship/friendship) I'm about 14 years old, and I've been there a while.

I have three friends. One is a drunk, one is 12 years younger than I and the last is bat s**t insane (even by my standards).



Summer_Twilight
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02 May 2016, 7:24 am

Oh there I go again with not checking my errors and that is what is wrong with WP is that you can't go back and correct those mistakes to sound more professional.

'He should have been 'she.
Think should have been thought