Girlfriend in psychiatric hospital

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Joined: 4 Dec 2011
Posts: 583

28 Aug 2012, 6:47 am

I feel really bad and guilty right now. My girlfriend is in a psychiatric hospital and I feel it's my fault. We both have asperger's (in fact, we met in the local aspie community) and have been together for 2 years. We both have mental health problems and self-destructive behavior. Last week was really tough on both of us. Her school starts this week and I'm trying to start working on my thesis again after the summer. We're also both waiting to get into this really big aspie project. So when we met last weekend (she lives in another city and comes here at weekends) we were both stressed. After our local aspie group meeting we went out drinking with our friends. I was feeling a bit weird, because I had just finished an antibiotic treatment and had a cold, but I still wanted to be with my aspie friends. We came home at about 3 in the morning and then I just broke down. I started crying really heavily and tried to cut myself a few times. My girlfriend had to keep me safe from myself. We went to sleep at around 5 in the morning. Next day, we talked about what happened and everything seemed to be ok. But then she started hearing voices, which she hasn't in a long time (she's diagnosed with psychosis). Next night, it was me who had to take care of her. We had planned that she'd stay to today for an aspie gathering, but we both decided she needed to go back home and go to the hospital where she's been treated before. I can't help but think that this is my fault. If she was already stressed before, I shouldn't have burdened her. My psychologist says we have boundary issues (in that we don't have clear boundaries). But hey, don't almost all lesbian couples have boundary issues? I'm really confused right now. Is it a bad thing to be the most important person in each other's lives and try to help each other?

Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 12 Jul 2012
Posts: 66

28 Aug 2012, 7:44 am

You were facing a lot of stress at the time as well, so don't blame yourself too much about the meltdown. And you helped her the next night, so if you need to, you can say you made it up to her.

Anyways, the only advice I can think of is to try and keep stress at a low level for the both of you. I don't really have enough information to come to any sort of conclusion on the boundary issue thing.


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Joined: 6 Jan 2012
Posts: 116

28 Aug 2012, 7:07 pm

It's not your fault- she may well have had the episode either way. Psychosis is very unpredictable, really all illness, physical or mental, is. It was going to come back anyway-worst case scenario you may have made it come a few weeks earlier than it would have.