At what point do you try again?

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The reason why I'm asking is that I'm really lonely. I haven't had a girlfriend in just over 1.5 years (2 years this March) and I've only had one (maybe two, but that's a gray area), so I don't really know what it's like, but I still feel empty. Most of the people I know have girlfriends/boyfriends or can find one as if they have some 6th sense. It comes easy to them, it's almost impossible to me. I suppose one reason is that I haven't really found anyone that I really really like. Well, that's not true: I had an almost-crush on one girl in my Oracle 11g class. She now has a boyfriend and we really don't talk anymore. It's hard to say how crushed I feel.

It could be because I'm scared, fear of rejection, but it could also be that I do see other girls but I'm intimidated by them because of their social status or how smart they are. Does anyone else feel this way?

I also feel like I'm not really likeable. I have aspergers, severe depression, and am not really social. I am a good listener, even if sometimes I have a hard time paying attention to the person I'm talkting to. I'm not part of any school clubs/activities because I don't like school and try to spend as much time as I can away from it and the people who come with it (most of my activities are in the community, outside school). Oh, I should also mention I'm a senior in high school. I'm really tall and really quiet. A boy with a few feminine qualities (doesn't like violence, sensitive, caring, submissive; this is according to the stereotype). Ladies, does this sound like someone who you might find attractive?

I know I'm supposted to be myself, but myself never seems good enough.

Sorry for ranting. Guess I'm just jealous. We all want to be loved, right?

I feel the same way. I haven't really had a girlfriend in 11 years (I don't really think "online girlfriends" really count unless you met them offline.

I can tell you after a depressive episode, and something in my brain causing me to say "f**k this, I've had enough" this weekend, I should tell you one thing. I went four years without being depressed before this year stared. Yes, four years. Eventually you will get pissed off with being so depresssed that you will go do something to change yourself. I am actually starting to feel that way again. You need to change how you think and feel about yourself. You really do. Sure you will have setbacks, but you cast them aside because you need to have some purpose in life and goals to set and achieve. You need to fulfill yourself in another way.
As for when you will be ready? I've said it before. You will never know... things just happen.

Heartbreaks are really burdens to us. Yet we must learn on how to move and start over again.

really quiet. A boy with a few feminine qualities (doesn't like violence, sensitive, caring, submissive; this is according to the stereotype). Ladies, does this sound like someone who you might find attractive?

my husband is not an aspie, but he has all the other qualities listed above. i find him very attractive. we didn't find each other 'til we were in our 50's. never give up.

It all depends how long you need to wait.

NoSQL & MongoDB.

You know, if you haven't found a girl you really liked (with the exception), then you may be better off. The goal is to date someone you honestly like. Maybe it is better to find that match than date someone just to have a girlfriend? I will tell you that many girls do like guys with the "feminine" qualities you mention. To stereotype: they're nice guys. And you need to remember that if you feel intimidated, other guys probably do as well. Thinking back to high school, there were a lot of guys I would have been enthralled by had they actually asked me out or talked with me.

I was advised to be direct, instead of trying to be friends with them and then somehow magically it will evolve into a relationship. I think this advice actually works, because you will not be wasting your time if there is nothing to pursue to begin with.

So I would say by doing that, and getting rejected after sending 160 people in 2 weeks on dating sites. Everyday I sent a couple, reading profiles, examining, assessing their personality. Yes, they were all unique response to each person's profile. Also because others said, it is by numbers. One did actually respond, but it was like an accident that I messaged her, she was very direct her self. So I thought, oh well, I tell her about my autism/Asperger traits in the 2nd message. She responded back and the conversation simply continued. There were times when I thought, maybe I'm doing something wrong, when she reminded me, I'm the one that is preventing myself from moving forward and continuing. But I usually derail potential things, and she just reminded me what I did to my self.

so I guess I would say, try everyday, never give up, never surrender

I did that today. Remember the one girl I had a crush on in my Oracle class? Today I wrote her a note, telling her that I felt bad that I had stopped talking to her and that it might be that I "kinda liked" her (after knowing that she had a boyfriend). She really cares about me and was really understanding; I'm surprised how understanding she was. I kept saying "I'm sorry", and she told me everything was okay and that she wouldn't bring up her boyfriend anymore in front of me (to make me feel better). She is the best girl on the planet! Knowing that just breaks my heart even more, but I had to tell her. She's my best friend; I couldn't just not say it and go on pretending nothing was wrong.

Thanks for your advice! Really. I am afraid of rejection (aren't we all), especially if this is someone I see every day and can't really avoid. All I can do is keep calm and carry on. And keep my eyes open. And not blame my Aspergers. Thanks, Stalk.

Absolutley. I hope things work out for you,

As for me Certain events in my life are taking place and once they do hopefully I'll be able to find someone to date

I've heard that once you get to a certain age, if you still haven't found a partner (or married), you become that "creepy old guy on the corner". I think I've hit that age already, and I'm still in high school. Never had a meaningful relationship, and everyone else around me is dating.

As for relationships, one of my friends has to enter into an arranged marriage once she hits a certain age. For myself, I don't think an arranged marriage would be too bad. At least that way I know I would be loved by someone.

It's interesting seeing the ratio of how quickly someone can replace their ex after their relationships end. Since I've never dated, I can only be a spectator but since it's been so hard for me to find someone period, I could only image how difficult it would be for me to find a replacement. I'm sure if and when I have a failed relationship, my ex will quickly replace me with some other guy she just met and I may not be able to replace her for years. What gets me is how almost every person I know can usually find a replacement for someone within a week, a month tops. I'd image it would be because they have a big circle of friends so they know everyone's status or they do the old fashion bar hook-ups which I'd never do. Nevertheless, for people like us who may not have a huge circle of friends, it's a dire task.

You're only in high school? You have quite a lot of your life to live. I didn't have any friends who were girls in high school, let alone girlfriends. I'm a senior in college now. In the past four years, I've met many, many women and I fell in love, which was the greatest experience of my life. We are no longer together but the only thing that matters is you're very young. Don't write the world off yet. And I know this is cliche, but the less you obsess over finding someone, the more likely it is to happen. Trust me on that one. You'll be fine.

Never Give Up

It's going to be hard to make that one happen, but thanks. I'll try.