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ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 8:33 am

I don't know if anyone here remembers me, but I guess that part doesn't really matter.

I thought I had something going off someone I met on OKC, but it turns out that she's "not sure" what she wants (code for "Not you"),.. guess I should have known that it wouldn't have ever worked.

Now i'm going to be 25 in a couple weeks. At least now I have a job, but as far as i'm concerned I'm just going through the motions at work since I don't really have anything to live for. Turns out trying to turn the New York Giants into a reason to live doesn't work when they start derping around either...



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Jan 2013, 8:48 am

Forget about girls for now.

For now, develop yourself.

Are you losing weight?



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 9:28 am

I was for a while but the job means I don't have time to walk anymore... that said, my office is about half a mile from the parking lot, so I get a mile's worth of walking every day...



spongy
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13 Jan 2013, 12:26 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I was for a while but the job means I don't have time to walk anymore... that said, my office is about half a mile from the parking lot, so I get a mile's worth of walking every day...


Do you work on weekends?
Is there any gym close to your job you could sign up to that isnt crazy expensive?
Do you have any friends that practise sport together and you could join them?
.
.
.

If theres a will theres a way toad.

I was there not that long ago and Im still there right now( had some medical issues in September right now Im going to the gym once a week because my dad pretty much forces me to once a week because Im just not motivated).

Ive been looking into something that makes the gym easier for me(some sort of distraction so that I dont obsess over how long have I be doing whatever activity) and you should try to find out whatever works for you.


Something else that could be worth looking into is free group activities(reading club, conversational club, language club, Ive gone as far as finding free partying groups (someone moved in less than a year ago and she was desperate, its been quite succesful)) theres plenty of choices out there and meeting people of both genders face to face should help you overcome some of your shyness issues/ make you more comfortable around women.
You dont have to meet someone and hit it off, its just a fun hobby that could be more helpful than watching a male centred sport



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 1:29 pm

spongy wrote:
Do you work on weekends?
Is there any gym close to your job you could sign up to that isnt crazy expensive?
Do you have any friends that practise sport together and you could join them?

Yes, no, and no.

Quote:
Something else that could be worth looking into is free group activities(reading club, conversational club, language club, Ive gone as far as finding free partying groups (someone moved in less than a year ago and she was desperate, its been quite succesful)) theres plenty of choices out there and meeting people of both genders face to face should help you overcome some of your shyness issues/ make you more comfortable around women.
You dont have to meet someone and hit it off, its just a fun hobby that could be more helpful than watching a male centred sport

I don't really know of any clubs in my area. I was lucky enough to get the job I have. At least now I'm making money and if I keep working here I would realistically be able to afford supporting a family of my own within a couple of years. But even with a career track in place it seems as though I won't be able to have the family i so desperately want. Women don't want me, human cloning isn't a thing, and adoption agencies tend to reject single fathers for the (legitimate) concern regarding pedophiles...



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 2:19 pm

The thing I don't get is that i've been told that my (prior) lack of a career is supposed to be the biggest turn-off about me, and yet even with a career i'm still up a creek. Will I still have the same problem once I move into my own place? Would a woman even want to start a family with me even if I have a house, car, and make enough money to support a family?



spongy
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13 Jan 2013, 4:32 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
The thing I don't get is that i've been told that my (prior) lack of a career is supposed to be the biggest turn-off about me, and yet even with a career i'm still up a creek. Will I still have the same problem once I move into my own place? Would a woman even want to start a family with me even if I have a house, car, and make enough money to support a family?


What could you offer beyond that?

If you dont have anything to offer some women could see you as an easy target and give you a disfunctional relationship in which they are in only for the money and they could divorce you/ get a big part of your money after a while.

Its somewhat frequent among aspies.



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 5:48 pm

What else is there to offer that a woman could want? Am I supposed to be some party animal or something to start a family? If I'm able to provide everything, i should be able to start a family of my own. There aren't any women out there that find a man that can bring that stability into life attractive?



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13 Jan 2013, 6:46 pm

It sounds to me like your biggest hindrance might simply be your opinion of yourself. You seem to be really down on yourself in most of your posts, and that can often subconsciously transfer over into our interactions with other people. And no one wants to be around someone who makes them feel down! This is actually probably the most frequent advice I provide on this forum, because I find that a lot of people, due partially to their lack of success, begin to lose hope as well as self esteem.

And if you are trying to lose weight, working out for 2 hours a day isn't the only option! Dieting is the most important part of weight management. And for exercise, there are plenty of things that you can do simply in your own home, jumping jacks for instance, that don't require any fancy equipment or gym memberships.



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2013, 8:15 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
It sounds to me like your biggest hindrance might simply be your opinion of yourself. You seem to be really down on yourself in most of your posts, and that can often subconsciously transfer over into our interactions with other people. And no one wants to be around someone who makes them feel down! This is actually probably the most frequent advice I provide on this forum, because I find that a lot of people, due partially to their lack of success, begin to lose hope as well as self esteem.


How can you have a positive opinion of yourself if all you do is fail?



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13 Jan 2013, 10:52 pm

Simple: the joke's on them, they don't know what they're missing.



spongy
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13 Jan 2013, 11:04 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
What else is there to offer that a woman could want? Am I supposed to be some party animal or something to start a family? If I'm able to provide everything, i should be able to start a family of my own. There aren't any women out there that find a man that can bring that stability into life attractive?


When did I say that?

I just said that if you are only providing financial stability some girl could take advantage of this and see you as an easy prey.

There are probably women out there that like stability by itself, Im just scared you wont look hard enough to find one that genuinely does, same way you used to dismiss people´s suggestions to improve your chances in the past



Tim_Tex
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13 Jan 2013, 11:13 pm

Welcome back to WP!

I was wondering where you'd been.


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ToadOfSteel
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14 Jan 2013, 12:36 am

spongy wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
What else is there to offer that a woman could want? Am I supposed to be some party animal or something to start a family? If I'm able to provide everything, i should be able to start a family of my own. There aren't any women out there that find a man that can bring that stability into life attractive?


When did I say that?

I just said that if you are only providing financial stability some girl could take advantage of this and see you as an easy prey.

There are probably women out there that like stability by itself, Im just scared you wont look hard enough to find one that genuinely does, same way you used to dismiss people´s suggestions to improve your chances in the past


Ah I'm sorry, you made it sound like financial stability and a career track wasn't enough to attract a woman... but it's going to have to do because football, video games, and AV engineering are very male-dominated interests... The other interests I have (photography, digital artwork) are things that I had in common with the girl i was messaging, but apparently that wasn't enough...



sunshower
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14 Jan 2013, 1:45 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Stargazer43 wrote:
It sounds to me like your biggest hindrance might simply be your opinion of yourself. You seem to be really down on yourself in most of your posts, and that can often subconsciously transfer over into our interactions with other people. And no one wants to be around someone who makes them feel down! This is actually probably the most frequent advice I provide on this forum, because I find that a lot of people, due partially to their lack of success, begin to lose hope as well as self esteem.


How can you have a positive opinion of yourself if all you do is fail?


Getting a job and starting a career isn't failing. Do you suffer from depression? The tone of your posts does seem to suggest that (now and in the past, yes I remember you too, I'm sort of half back but not really. In an anti-social sort of zone atm and that's when I tend to loiter/lurk around WP).


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14 Jan 2013, 5:37 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5LpwO-An4[/youtube]I said HEY whats goin on?


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