Bullying and ASD

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It is not a hidden fact that those on the spectrum can at times be vulnerable and may be subject to bullying. In general do you think it is better to advocate for yourself and explain to others that you have been diagnosed on the spectrum or does this backfire? Looking for any advice on how to deal with peers that just don't get what it means to be on the spectrum.

i think it depends on the age of the people, and i think its hard to tell whether it would backfire or not, you always get some who will use it against you, depends on the individual, i would not really suggest letting the whole school know, it may be difficult because people also gossip.

Here is my opinion:

There is social stigma attached to bullying people who are obviously disabled. Most people will not do it, because a peer somewhere is bound to stand up against it.

However, many people on the spectrum are not "obviously" disabled. They are "typical enough." Therefore the kids that might stand up for an obviously disabled kid may not stand up for ours. And although our kids seem "typical enough," they are far from it in terms of being able to identify the intentions of others and respond in an appropriately self-assertive way. They tend to shy away in humiliation, burst into tears, or go into a rage--all of which I think encourage further bullying.

I think there are kids who will bully whether or not the diagnosis is known. But if the diagnosis is known, your kid might get support from some of the kids who will stand up for someone who is disabled.

If disclosure is considered, I would think VERY carefully about the words chosen, however. You wouldn't want to make the person even more vulnerable by painting a picture of weakness.

I was bullyed through school, physical, verbel and emotional, starting with grade 1. I had no diagnosis to help me until grade 6/7 so by then it felt like it was too late and after all these years I still don't know what I could have did different to stop it. It was usally the same couple kids starting it and the rest just joined in and they made sure the teacher did not know or had a story to cover. Did not help I could not reconize the actions as bullying and my enotional reactions often included laughing and other wrong emotions that got them out of trouble and me in trouble. I would never have told the whole class anyway or allowed anyone else to, good way to be seen as even more of a freak in the eyes of a bully who will never get the message anyway.

With that said, I wonder if disclorseing to a few (2 or 3) close-ish mature friends of an Aspergers child privately would lead to some useful anti-bully allys for the child, explain the childs ASD and related weakness and why they need to look out for their ASD friend, do it in the princapal's office for example and set up consquances for disclosure to the other kids, the Aspergers child does not have to know about this, good parents can help too.

I did have some friends that would sort of look out for me once I got sort of in the group for awhile and the bully backed off, it only takes 1 or 2 friends of reasonable social stature. Good idea or bad idea? best I can come up with in 23 years of life.

I was always bullied at school and had no friends at all. Plus, None of the teachers gave a s**t. This was of course back in the 1980's and I don't think anybody had ever herd of asperger back then.

That not to say that I didn't have creative ways of getting back. But even with all the "get even" stuff it did. It still was never fully satisfying since my enemies never knew who did it.

I posted this on another thread minutes ago, Aspergers gave me a high pain threshold and the abillity to go non verbel in these types of phyical situations and that was what finally ended the phyical part of the bullying. After 7 years I learned how to use it to make me look tough and embearious the bully eventhough I was still just an emotionaly unstable clumsy weakling of a child.

I think it can backfire because AS is a hidden disability and because you look normal, they can now tease you about having it. Or it may not do nothing for you because they may not care and still continue to bully you and give you a hard time about your traits. Or you could luck out and you have a better understanding and more people back off.

I honestly don't know. I do know that nobody ever made fun of those who were disabled physically or mentally or made fun of race (at least in Jr. High) and were helpful and supportive but to me it was fair game. I suspect my teacher did say something to my class when I wasn't around because some kids did sincerely apologize one day.... and the next week it got bad again.

I would say since it's not a "obvious disability" kids would have a field day with it but hey, you never know. I was at rock bottom so it couldn't have hurt me much anyway. I still think if I were to follow through with a formal diagnosis that people would just consider it another 'excuse to be lazy' and that it's not a 'real' condition. For example, when I casually mention I might be on the spectrum to those who know Autism, they will usually respond my saying "oh, everyone has autism" just as many said "everyone gets bullied". BS!

AS isn't really hidden for all of us, it just looks more like were "slow" or mentally not all there or as some still say "retarted" as opposed to genuinely disabled, In school there was a girl in a wheelchair with bad CP and they left her alone even pityed her, but I was fair game becouse my learning issues, speech issues, emotional issues and cordination issues wern't bad or phyical enough to qualify as disabled in the bullys eyes. I would actually consider myself and most other autistics a visable minority for the reasons above, it can be seen if you look for it.

I was never exactly bullied at school, but I still had a few rough times with people. One girl in my class had a sibling who was so severely Autistic that he had to go to a special school, then had to go into 24 hour care after he got to about 10 because his mum just could not handle him (he began getting highly aggressive). So this girl was aware of Autism, and my mum and her mum became friendly with each other and obviously this girl knew I had Asperger's Syndrome. But when we were about 10, this girl told all the other girls that I had it, so from then on, practically the whole class knew I had this label, and I didn't like it. (I don't know if all the boys knew). The other girls either spoke to me like I was a baby, or they would yell at me when I tried to just join in. I could tell most of them didn't really like me, all because I had this cruel disability what I didn't ask to have. Completely insensitive!

Also I had a few teachers pick on me, like show me up in front of the class when I done my work slightly wrong, or shout at me when they thought I wasn't paying attention. When I was little, I used to daydream when the teacher was just standing there talking the whole time. Or I used to start playing with my hands or my hair, and feeling really bored and fidgety, which always made the teacher shout. But when other kids looked like they weren't paying attention, she never yelled at them, just almost praised them up or make a joke out of it. I hate teachers like that. Even then I knew she had favourites, and I wasn't her favourite.

Yes, school was pretty s**t. I know I didn't get horribly bullied, I still got teased a few times, and rejected SO MANY times, and singled out or picked on. No wonder I'm so depressed and wallowing in self-hatred now.