"Don't Have to Invite Weird, Awkward Family Members&

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Joined: 15 Jul 2012
Posts: 107

21 Oct 2013, 3:03 pm

I was talking with a coworker today about a baby shower I'm throwing for my future sister-in-law, and was asking about women only showers vs. what she wanted which was an everyone shower. He felt showers were for women only. I said I liked the idea of a dual shower (like she initially wanted), but that my budget simply did not allow for it.

At one point he said something like, "When we (he & his wife) got married, we paid for everything so we invited who wanted and not any of the 'weird or awkward family members'."

At first I just said yeah when it's your day you should invite who you want, but now I'm really thinking he was implying that they are essentially being forced to have me (b/c I'm hosting it) b/c I'm paying for it and they aren't. I mean, I know I'm awkward, but I don't need nor do I want anyone making digs at me.

Am I just being paranoid? I mean, it seemed like the rest of the conversation was quite pleasant, but more than anyone else I always feel like looking back his comments are meant sarcastically and quite meanly.

I should note, I'm feeling pretty bad about it now. I sorta want to go up and ask him if he meant me but honestly I know even if he did he'll likely just deny it.


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Joined: 17 Oct 2008
Posts: 889

21 Oct 2013, 3:22 pm

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. If someone dislikes you enough to essentially insult you to your face you usually know it without much internal debate.

Everything would be better if you were in charge.


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Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Posts: 11,602
Location: Seattle, WA

21 Oct 2013, 5:46 pm

<--- Wouldn't be invited to a baby shower, whatever that is, because he's weird and awkward.

Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 19 Jan 2013
Posts: 39

29 Oct 2013, 7:34 am

Its probably more a social positioning thing. He also called your brother and sis-in-law broke losers essentially. He feels bad that no one loved him enough to throw him a party, or his family criticized his wedding, or you sound better off financially, or something else that is about him feeling bad about himself.


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Joined: 28 Jun 2008
Posts: 1,560
Location: Midwest

29 Oct 2013, 8:33 am

If the coworker is someone with whom you have an otherwise friendly relationship, it is unlikely that he would imply YOU were weird and awkward to your face--that would be insulting. The fact he said those words in your presence means he doesn't think of you that way. He was probably thinking of someone in his own family who was problematic for him, not about you at all.


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Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Posts: 2,826
Location: PA, USA

30 Oct 2013, 7:35 am

Ignore it.

Get along with him, because he's a coworker.

But don't be friends with him, because he's an ass.

"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"