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bumble
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27 Oct 2013, 3:39 pm

What are flaws exactly? On what criteria do you base these perceived flaws? Are they absolute things that need changing about you?

I have problems with the use of the term 'flaws' to refer to a persons perceived (and notice I say perceived) shortcomings. I am not sure there is even any such thing as a flaw as such, just different characteristics, skills and traits that work well in some environments, not so well in others and all shades of grey in between. What is perceived as being a weakness in one situation can become a strength in another. So is there really such a thing as a flaw or is it really just about adaptations and characters that may or may not be useful in any given situation or in different environments.

If it is the later how can people keep referring to flaws as something that needs to be changed about themselves?

I get upset when I see all this talk about flaws as I feel so many people are tearing themselves up over perceived flaws and then spending years of therapy trying to accept something about themselves that don't really exist in reality.

People are odd souls arn't they?



Fnord
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27 Oct 2013, 3:48 pm

Without any flaws, what would y'all walk on? :wink:

Okay, cheap joke. :roll:

What are flaws? I can name a few - hatred, bigotry/favoritism, discord, jealousy, rage, hypocrisy, laziness, selfish ambition, trollishness, envy, drunkenness and addiction. I guess the common factor is an over-reaching sense of entitlement, especially when it is expressed to the detriment of society.


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andrewlavigne
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27 Oct 2013, 3:51 pm

Fnord wrote:
Without any flaws, what would y'all walk on? :wink:

Okay, cheap joke. :roll:

What are flaws? I can name a few - hatred, bigotry/favoritism, discord, jealousy, rage, hypocrisy, laziness, selfish ambition, trollishness, envy, drunkenness and addiction. I guess the common factor is an over-reaching sense of entitlement, especially when it is expressed to the detriment of society.


I don't know if I'd call addiction "an over-reaching sense of entitlement". You probably haven't been addicted to anything if this is how you characterize it.



Fnord
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27 Oct 2013, 4:11 pm

andrewlavigne wrote:
Fnord wrote:
What are flaws? I can name a few - hatred, bigotry/favoritism, discord, jealousy, rage, hypocrisy, laziness, selfish ambition, trollishness, envy, drunkenness and addiction. I guess the common factor is an over-reaching sense of entitlement, especially when it is expressed to the detriment of society.
I don't know if I'd call addiction "an over-reaching sense of entitlement". You probably haven't been addicted to anything if this is how you characterize it.

Suggest to any smoker that his or her smoking adversely affects the health of others, and see how much entitlement to their 'rights' they claim - such as the right to destroy their own health and the health of others. If that's not an "over-reaching sense of entitlement", then please tell me what it is.


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LucySnowe
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27 Oct 2013, 4:48 pm

There are no flawed people, just flaws in thinking.



PerfectlyDarkTails
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27 Oct 2013, 5:05 pm

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. It is common to not dwell on the weaknesses as absolute flaws but something that can be learned to be improved and truly excel in their strongest skills.


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bumble
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27 Oct 2013, 5:23 pm

Fnord wrote:
Without any flaws, what would y'all walk on? :wink:

Okay, cheap joke. :roll:

What are flaws? I can name a few - hatred, bigotry/favoritism, discord, jealousy, rage, hypocrisy, laziness, selfish ambition, trollishness, envy, drunkenness and addiction. I guess the common factor is an over-reaching sense of entitlement, especially when it is expressed to the detriment of society.


But why are they perceived as flaws and weaknesses?

And lol to the cheap joke lol.

PS not all smokers are impolite about their habit. I do not smoke now but when I did, I would always ask people if it was ok to do so before lighting up.



loosewheel
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27 Oct 2013, 5:46 pm

If a machine doesn't perform to its expected standard, then it's flawed on that basis. But a person is not a thing, a person is a potential. They do better on a good day than on a bad day, and that is ordinary. In a person, a flaw is very subjective. If a person identifies something of themselves that is causing them grief, then they have the opportunity to try and change it, and avoid the grief. I heard that when Elvis Presley got annoyed with a TV program he shot the TV. Most people would have a problem with this as they live in areas where a gun shot would bring unwanted attention, and couldn't afford to keep buying TVs. But Elvis could afford it, and he liked shooting the TV. In many ways, the only difference between a gift and a disorder is whether someone appreciates it or not. If you think it's a flaw, then it is. If you don't, then it's not.



leafplant
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27 Oct 2013, 5:48 pm

Fnord wrote:
Without any flaws, what would y'all walk on? :wink:



I think I am having a nervous breakdown. Am actually lol-ing at this a minute on.. oh dear me



..
Anyhow,, flaws (smirk) are those parts of a person's behaviour that put them at odds with the prevalent societal views. They are not absolute, e.g. in certain communities, an ability to steal without feeling remorse or getting caught is not a flaw but a highly valued skill.



LupaLuna
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27 Oct 2013, 6:02 pm

I think the word that everybody is looking for is a common biblical/religious word that best sums things up called "SIN".



Vectorspace
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27 Oct 2013, 6:16 pm

My flaws prevent me from having a satisfying social life, and I definitely want to do something about that.

To most flaws, you can usually say something like "It's OK, you're still a good person." in response – except if your flaw is being a sh***y person (which applies to me).



micfranklin
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27 Oct 2013, 6:58 pm

Flaws make people more interesting IMO. And I tend to think a person is good if their flaws are outweighed by their positive characteristics. For example, someone may lie about something but is still genuinely kind, gentle, loving unconditionally, dedicated, willing to help someone they care about out financially, learner from mistakes and supportive.



auntblabby
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27 Oct 2013, 7:05 pm

a diamond wouldn't be as precious sans a key flaw someplace in it.



octobertiger
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28 Oct 2013, 1:35 am

I feel complete now I have the true power of purple!



Toy_Soldier
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28 Oct 2013, 4:58 pm

Fnord wrote:
Suggest to any smoker that his or her smoking adversely affects the health of others, and see how much entitlement to their 'rights' they claim - such as the right to destroy their own health and the health of others. If that's not an "over-reaching sense of entitlement", then please tell me what it is.


Thats B.S. actually. After becoming aware of the dangers of second hand smoke many no longer do it around non-smokers. I still go outside even if people don't mind me doing it around them. Habit I guess.

The term flaw suggests something generally seen in a negative light, but I find them mostly subjective. Whats a big deal to some is small potatos to others. One persons flaw is anothers endearing characteristic. So if person A tells me what they see as flaws in person B, its usually pretty meaningless. My view of person B may turn out to be very different.