Life as A Middle Aged Aspie

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I have a job that is a really good job. They treat us incredibly well and the pay is pretty good. I am of course an outsider for the most part, but not entirely.

There are a few huge problems with it though, one I have talked about at length here and won't go into again, but the other is that I've been doing the same job for years because I can't advance, there's no place for me (or any of my colleagues that do what I do) to advance to. So I am getting totally burned out. Plus, I keep thinking, how many good years do I have left, shouldn't I be doing something I enjoy?

The thing is though, without my job I'd have no money, be in total debt and without any social element at all. I am alone most of the time and love that aspect, but I'm afraid if I had no contact, I'd go nuts.

What can I do to stop feeling so unfulfilled? I have hobbies that I love doing, but I need more. Is anybody else having this problem?

Being on the spectrum makes it worse but I think this a problem everywhere with economy being bad for a long time with no sign of real change. The people fortunate to have jobs are working more hours and much harder at jobs they do not like because they are doing there jobs as well as the ones we used to do. Even with my lack of "reading" people abilities people look way more stressed and beaten down.

What to do all the cliched things I guess, make sure you make your off time as fulfilling as possible, Find enjoyment little stupid things that briefly distract you from the daily grind.

Wozeree - sounds a lot like my situation as well. I think its a common problem with aspies and neurotypicals alike.

I try to think of it as a "good job" versus a "career" and that my good job gives me the money to take care of myself and do the things I like to do with my own time. Guess it's a fair deal then.

My suggestion would be to find a worthy non-profit/charitable organization to work with, assuming you have the time.

I went through the same feelings more than once (retired now for a number of years) and I'm pretty sure it's all involved with NT society and how they play their roles. In MY society I have enough money and don't feel as though I need to join the NT concept of a money machine to bring me happiness.

In the NT world it seems always about making enough money to buy big cars and a house three times bigger than it needs to be, or to become someone's boss to better tell them what to do to please the company. And, of course, the standards for reaching these managerial heights are all NT standards.

Simply said: I don't have to live the NT idea of success to make my life fulfilling. When I began the job I stayed with for over 22 years before retiring, I told the person hiring me I worked best if I had autonomy. It took them a while to make up their minds but they gave me a chance and I never let them down, always being the first to volunteer new ideas even if they meant I had more work. After I learned their systems I was able to work it into my corner desk where I was able to work one-on-one with our customers around the country with their technical problems with our products. I didn't make a lot of money but I was a really, really good saver so moved into retirement pretty easily. My BIG luck was finding a manager with intelligence and understanding.

denny

My bosses are actually great in a lot of ways. They really do treat us like people, not numbers for which I am very grateful. But they just don't get what's up with me and it causes a lot of problems. I'm not diagnosed so I can't say I have Asperger's. I've told a few of my friends there and they pretty much ridiculed me. It's just weird. In some ways it's like home since I've been there for over a decade, but in other ways it's like a gladiator ring. It doesn't help that everyone is pretty much out for themselves anyway, at any cost.

Middle aged, and questioning your future. Sounds like you're going through what NT's call a mid-life crisis.

I guess aspies must have such things too, as I'm sure dang near everyone that knows me figures i'm going through one myself right now as i plan on closing my semi-successful business selling my house and going to life off the land in the deep wilderness.

The way you worded your OP makes me think that you've had this feeling growing within you, a feeling of dissatisfaction with your life as it appears to be going. You feel you're getting older, and if you put change off too long, it'll be too late, and you'll be stuck in the same rut for the rest of your life, or at least as long as you can maintain that rut. And adding to that you wonder if you can maintain the rut long enough so that you can afford to retire, you are questioning your future and your ability to ensure stability in your future.

Only way to deal with a mid-life crisis is to sit down and do a cost-benefit analysis of all your options. It's tough economic times, so getting another job isn't easy... I know if I fail at this homesteading idea, no one is going to hire me, and if i can't walk out of it without enough money to start up a new business then i'll be screwed... So I've devised back up plans and contingencies as part of what i'm doing, to ensure that I can change paths at least once more if I have to.

Remember mid-life crises are only such from the perspective that sees them as such, if you instead see it as a re-awakening, and embrace any change with a positive outlook, you can plan the change and keep as many options as possible open as you go.

Or I guess you could do as many NT's do during midlife crises, but a sports car, get drunk, wrap it around a telephone pole, get the insurance money and then go back to life as it was.