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brs26744
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06 Apr 2014, 10:02 pm

It seems like people are able to be pretty social and communicate or connect with others on here, but do you find you are able to do the same in person? I think it's easier when I don't actually see the other person but was curious what others feel?



skibum
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06 Apr 2014, 10:11 pm

Welcome to WP.
I do pretty well with it. I am actually very social for an Aspie. I get tired and worn out from it though but I can handle it pretty well.


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Nightingale121
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07 Apr 2014, 5:21 am

I also find that it is easier to communicate for example in forums or e-mail than in person. I think it is because here you have as much time as you want to think about the post another person wrote and you also can think about your answer and can change it if you don´t like it. In person people expect an answer very fast and once you have said anything the person heard it and it´s not so easy to "change" the answer.
Another point is that I can focus on the text/the words. There are no other aspects I have to think about like gestures or my own behaviour (like making eye contact and so on).


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kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2014, 7:24 am

It varies with me. When I want to pursue a "special interest," I don't want to be bothered with another person. If I have to remove myself from the "special interest," I do so with some irritability. I am "superficially" social with a lot of people. I don't tend to gravitate myself toward any group. If a group is talking about something I know nothing about, I don't insert my two cents. This happens rather frequently, actually. People tend to like to talk about things like "what happened on this and that reality show;" or "this dress was too revealing on the Academy Awards," while making moral judgments; or the latest topics in the news, which sometimes is relevant to me and sometimes not. "C'est la vie," I think at these times, "now back to my regularly scheduled program," which might consist of looking at a weather forum or doing my work.

I'm not seen as being standoffish, however, because I'm known as the Wolfman; hence, I have an identity which does not require me to become part of the prevailing social sphere. I speak when I want to speak.



ouroborosUK
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07 Apr 2014, 7:28 am

Yes, I feel the same and I think it is a fairly common thing for people with AS.

I feel forum and things that work in an analogue way (mailing lists, website comments, up to a point facebook status/comments, etc.) is the only form of communication that is almost natural to me.

For E-mails, letters and other forms of asynchronous personal communication it depends on the content and topic but they are globally OK too. I hate voice messages but it is mostly because I think recording them and listening to them is a tremendous waste of time while you could just send a text.

Telephone is bad, in-person interaction is worse, and video is maybe the worst of all.

Of course it depends on persons and circumstances too. (Often in an unpredictable way :/)


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rebecca1220
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07 Apr 2014, 8:14 am

Yes its the same for me. And, yes people will frequently talk about things I know nothing about which are fairly popular, like a tv show I have never seen (like the game of thrones), or a game I have never played (like Dota).
I just sit there feeling awkard, because I have nothing to add to the conversation.

xx



micfranklin
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07 Apr 2014, 9:11 am

Communication online is always easier for me because you're in no hurry to come up with an answer to something, meaning you can pick and choose when to respond.



kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2014, 9:20 am

It's weird: I don't mind the telephone. I once spoke for 11 hours straight to someone (a woman whom desired, but who did not requite the feeling). It's rather like Internet forums for me; I don't actually have to be in close proximity with the person. There is pressure to come up with answers--but I'm not bad at that, anyway. I'm better at "counterpunching" (i.e., answering questions) than coming up with a question or an original verbal thought, anyway.

The woman whom I spoke to for 11 hours, despite the unrequited desire, was one with whom I could relate. It's possible that she is Aspie as well; though she doesn't believe in the concept. This happened about 20 years ago.



ZombieBrideXD
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07 Apr 2014, 6:16 pm

Socializing is really confusing for me, i try not to, people who gravitate towards me and like me for who i am are easy to talk to though.


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