3 years down they dont want me

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I had joined a NGO 3 years back and that time the NGO werent getting employees who stayed back
Over the years they changed their strategies they increased their salaries
and now they are able to retain their employees.

During the initial years i was never told that im not good at anything...except they did tell my social skills were
poor and i need to improve
But over the years as they started getting good younger team workers who are excellent in communication
and confident
They no longer feel my need

Today during appraisal they found one loophole and kept on pointing out that my students havent progressed
they kept saying that there is no progress

No amount of explaining made them see my point....as they had clearly decided that they want me to leave

Its ok they could have just asked me to leave i would have left...........but they made me cry and even when i was weeping bitterly
they kept me asking questions

I wont let me go home this is what hurts me the most..........

Once their need is met they no longer need us

I will be putting up my resignation and i am sure they will accept it
because the way they were talking i felt they wanted me to leave

Don't know where you live, but in the USA, if you resign, you don't get unemployment benefits.

If they want you out, make them fire you (USA). Then you get benefits while you look for another job.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. The USA advice applies. It doesn't seem as if you're in the US, though, since NGO's area prevalent in so-called "third world" areas.

All things considered, I would wait until they fired me.

What do you do with the NGO? Are you a teacher?

i live in india
there are no such things like unemployments benefits etc here in india
thousands are unemployed and have turned to theft and robbery for survival

are you saying i shouldnt send out a resignation letter
the way they treated me i felt they want me to resign
after the horrible episode of today i dont want to continue
if they really want me they will not accept my resignation

I think they want you to improve. Tell them you want to improve and ask for advice or help in doing this.

if they accept my resignation
they dont me want then
that sorts out all questions for improvement

Hi, there is a medium course of action in which you half-quit.

And that is to call in and essentially say, 'I have a family situation I have to take care of. I can't tell you more. I'm sorry, but I have to take a couple of days off.'

This is the adult way of calling in sick. It might change the dynamic in which they realize you do good work and they'd rather have you here.

It is risky. It may result in loss of job.

And I'm very sorry they engaged in this behavior in which they continued to ask questions even though you were crying. That is bullying behavior, which is not so cool.

Being charitable, the person may have gotten stuck. Or, they may be an aggressive, bully-type person. If so, ignore them to the best of your ability.

And they are not the judge of whether you are helping your students. If you're alert and present, if you listen to your students, and if you try new things as necessary and helpful, you most probably are helping your students.

Think carefully before handing in a resignation. Give it a few days before taking any action. Ask your boss how you can improve. This will show you are eager and will be looked on favorably. If you hand in a resignation they will think you don't care about your job.

you are right they would want me to show my eagerness
but like previously pointed they are bully type
and didnt stop the questioning even though i was bitterly crying

all said and done...im a depression patient
diagnosed with bipolar 2
and had a very bad childhood

such atmosphere is not conducive for my personal growth
i could go into suicidal phase also

I have struggled with depression, including thoughts of suicide and it's scary.

If this happens to you, remember it's just thoughts. You do not have to act on them.

And please keep hope alive. Okay, so you leave this job, maybe preparing for classes you hope to take. Or, maybe thinking about starting a tutoring business either by yourself or with one or several partners. Here in the United States, I've had experience getting one or a couple of clients, maybe a little bit of money, but it's not really appreciable money. Just in general it's hard starting independent businesses and/or there's a lot of luck and external and timing factors.

People engaging in bullying behavior and other people who see it going on being passive bystanders and not trying to make things better are among the least flattering aspects of human nature. People just in general are lousy at this. But please try not to lose faith in people. People are good in other areas.

i always tried to be cordial nice and kind to people i have not exploited or cheated anybody
but they continue exploiting and hurting me

there are colleagues at this workplace who are worse off then me in the work
but they are being appreciated
whereas im being told that im not gud enough

suicidal thoughts cross my mind from childhood
i was victimised and bullied by my parents and siblings
and now that continous into adulthood
is there never a end
cause i give up

I am very sorry you were bullied in childhood, especially by family members who should have known better, and who should have looked for and found ways to help you even if they did not fully understand you.

Now, your workplace does sound like a toxic workplace. It sounds like they were either trying to make a case, in fact overprove a case to fire you, including using all kinds of twisty-turny logic and expending energy not to listen to you, or it was some royal jerk was trying to push you to quit when he or she didn't really have they authority to fire you but was sure acting like they did. Either one is a bad situation. And a negative situation which can grind you down, which can grind anyone down.

Okay, one skill I learned, and I take this from the American sport of baseball, is how good my B game is? And to try and have a steady eddie B game. Meaning, I may not always be at my best or have my best energy, but I can still do okay work. In fact, it kind of calls on the other person to contribute and do okay work and may be better socially. Now, it doesn't work all the time, maybe only two-thirds, but I will take this as one more skill I can add to my existing skill set.

And working here together at WrongPlanet we can all help each other add skills. And if most jobs are merely mediocre, and they are, we can also find meaning through such things as volunteer work.

And your current job sounds sounds bad, not merely mediocre. It's just a question of how to leave and when to leave. And please do not feel you are trapped, that's a very negative feeling. That's kind of why I was giving my advice of 'family situation I have to take care of.' That way you can take any day off entirely at your own choosing. Now, it is risky, but it does put some power back into your hands. Now, it is a lie (or a fib), but I think it's a deflecting lie of self-defense and ethically okay for that reason. And certainly after the way they treated you, I think it's fine. Other people here may disagree, and that's okay. What I'd really ask other people to do is come up with additional suggestions for handling a very difficult situation.

Don't use their willingness to accept your resignation as an indicator of your value.

It's very common for people to resign and go on to new places and new adventures. I was one of the most valuable employees in my last job, when I got a new one, I resigned, they took me to lunch and said best wishes.

It's almost bad form to refuse to accept a resignation. Some places may make a counter offer, but most will just say best wishes.

I wrote a resignation letter and mailed it my project head replied asking me to give reasons for resignation
she is then asking me to meet her personally and explain reasons to resign
after all that degradation and for almost 1 and half hour of crying and feeling depressed next 2-3 days
why should i meet her or explain anything to her

i havent replied to her mail yet
as im not in a right state of mind
its really toxic and mediocore behaviour on her part

Just tell the project leader that you have personal reasons or you just wish to find alternative employment. Is the project leader the one who was asking you questions when you were crying? If so, just be civil and don't bring up the meeting where you cried. You may need to depend on a reference so do not be toxic with them.