Have to leave where I am ~ go where ?

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...I am still , as I post this , at the nursing home (And using this dial-up machine in the overnight hours at length , although it has fricking Net Nanny on it , and even some pages on THIS site , which , as you know, automatically asterisks out letters in " those " word , are deemed no-nos ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! GEEESH . ) .
I get next to no actual medical attention at all , now .
I want to avoid repeating what I said above , but , though it's comfy here to have rest and three hospital meals + a few snacks I am hardly making any progress on the infection and , as I said , I ~ sort of ~ suppose a cutting operation is inevitable .
If I got up to the other state where I'd like to go , maybe I could start on rebuilding me life ~ Thouugh that sort of assumes that SS will like me and help me , or something similar .
The situation of hanging around this area for the last 15ish months due to the jail thing , and having to hang around the mailbox I have for the windfall I briefly had (Now essentially 100% gone) and trying medical folks around here trying to get help for the infections (which has pretty much reached its end now , here , at least as I see it) ~ I'd like to get up there and try again while the weather's warm , but:-(...........I seem to even to be ineligible for that " bus ticket outta town " program , as I think I outlined before .

...While I tell myself " I'll leave next week " , still , I know I'll be homeless again , and with this bad toe ...And getting up to Washington State , which is where the town I want to go which is where the WP fend recommended I go is , would take quite a bit of money , to be prepared and " hit the ground running " there even (especially) if I am homeless there...And I am basing it on that plan , I have no other alternative , it isn't my choice it's what I've got to work with , no repeat myself .
The plan was to get myself relatively in good with Social Services and proceed from there , hopefully to eventually set up going , first , to some kind of night school/junoor college/community college , and from there , to " real ' college sleep-away (As the Australians call it , " uni ".) - And , to try and get legal help regarding those stolen and lost monies...But I have to get up there first .
Now , actually , for all my saying this , I end up backing into staying here at the nursing place a little longer , they aren't putting me out ~ yet , anyway .
I mean , I was told by the then non-medical head that " my Medicare had run out " , I thinks its general inefficiency that had them not pushing it , aside from that person leaving I was told the ownership had changed , there was still no replacement for the departed non-medical head , and I think even that a lot ofemployees had been , maybe , let go ~ But I can't relay on staying here forever .
I'm not even getting that much ~ hardly ANY ~ direct medical care - just being - supposedly - salved and re-bandaged on my wounds once daily ~ It used to be twice a day . ~ and , that's not even consistent , entire day shifts , or possibly even entire days , have gone by with me , though I haven't left the area of the nursing home at all , not getting a bandaging - One above-average nice to me nurse will , in general , give me a night bandaging , then , if I haven't received one during the daytime .
However , the bandages on my foot will start coming off REALLY quickly , with no trying to do that on my part at all .
Right now , one of my two feet is entirely bandage-less , it came off while I was lying in bed , that's all I am wearing these open-toe clogs which are what I wear around here , they may be pretty dirty by now ~ I do end up , especially after being , perhaps , up all night on the very old/slow computer in the TV room , as I have done this last night (It's about 6:35 AM now and one of the other people who uses the computer is pestering me some to get off now) ~ I'll often sleep throughout most of the day getting up finally about 5 P.M. I am rather backing , this way , into staying here longer by not " getting ready to leave " like I tell myself I'll do .

...I see I've been rather repetitive here...........However , they're true .
This last day (Friday) was another day in which I received no care for my wounds AT ALL (and I was present in the nursing home all day) , even with that " nice " nurse on the duty in the evening !
Perhaps they're overworked , I have heard that a lot of people have been fired here , and that they are understaffed now...
I think I need to go out to-day...And therefore for me to get started in any time , I guess I'll have to forego the getting of a salving/wrapping ASGAIN as " normal " protocol means I get it , generally , after lunch ~ Or , sometimes now , not at all ~ If I have to go , I need to try and get my phone fixed up a bit at the AT&T store (to-day I guess) , then , do my laundry before going , go to Social Security and the US PO...That'll happen on weekdays 100% , I guess...I do take a long time getting going , and get tired , and , I am tended to go to sleep , I've been on this computer for hourse...BUT I think I'm in this " not-quite-able-to-go-to-sleep " state that I am so often in (Maybe in part because of having to follow other people's schedules and not being able to readily play music/go on a computer/whatevs in the same room , even here
Well , maybe I'll belatedly eat my breakfast and watch Justice League Unlimited and then gomout , hopefully getting fixed up (the salving/bandaging) tonite ! !! !! !! !!
I do have to leave here soon...Again , if I could just get up to Wasgington , but the ticket's expensive .........

...It's a week-plus now , I think I can add to this ~ I just have r4eceived next to no active medical care at all , which is my supposed reason for being there !
I am doing things to " count down to leave " , I suppose I will either side of this weekend ~ Maybe " practice " a day or two at being HL again , before I fully leave - The thing is , I will be pretty damn uncomfortable in my feet a lot of the time , once I leave , and trying to carry much too much stuff , more than I am now when I'm downtown , and trying to remain " in training " for being HL...I may dispose of some of my clothes (Poet...Don't know it ! !! )...I just have so much to carry:-(
And , I tend to have to go to the bathroom (Number one , especially.) A LOT...I'll have to deal with that somehow , once I'm HL .
I want to get up to that other state , where the friend can at least connect me to stuff...And I think I could at least start trying to find my school records (LONG story . , to try and , eventually anyway , go back to school...I might eventually just " okay " an amputation for my big toes (via meedicare) , as the doctor/s WERE pushing me to do...Up there .
I received a paper announcing a " planning my treatment "/whatever at the nursing home for next week , perhps now , four weeks after I was told it , the presnt management has discovered that my Social Security's run out...
But , anyway , I'm fairly close to cashless ~ Might low , anyway ...And my SSD won't come til' a later-than-usual time next week , I believe , and then there's , above that , the problem of getting sufficient $ for the expense of a bus ticket " up there " , I AM NOT ELIGIBLE FOR a " Homeward Bound " ...

...(Continued from the " Living alone " thread .)...I mean , after being homeless experiences in the 80s such as , IIRC , in one (In Yonkers , NY) having had , while I was in the men's room , an EMPLOEE there pour ammonia on either side of me to get me out of there ~ And , another time , having someone climb over the wall from the next rest-room stall to try and steal?? stuff from me - Worse?? - I became a rather " crusty ~ leave-me-alone ! " HL person even if I do it in the city (to be near libraries) and not up in the hills , like I'm Jerimiah Johnson or whatnot...A " natch'l man " : .(

...Well , I left the nursing place (in Santa Cruz) , last week...I was carrying to many things , and , when I went to San Jose , I ended up sort of stuck there for a few days - then , I HAD MOST OF MY THINGS STOLEN FROM ME while I prepared for bed (Sleeping outside , on concee , under a door .) ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
I dipped into my " commissary money if I go back to jail " emergency money to get back to Santa Cruz , at least can use the computer at the library here _ They appear to prohibit people with bags from coming into the MLKing Library in SC !
F*CK THEM ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! I was rather rejected by the church that I had gone to in SJ before (Not trying to get help , just going to services .)
I am , again , back in Santa Cruzs , my money gone , a opo reminded me indirectly oft he " prohibition against being downtown , jail if I am " to-day I am homeless , my foot wounds 100% not trteated or bandaged , my little SSD won't come in for a couple dys , if I can get some money I might immediately go to San Franisco and Washington state from there ??
However , it would help greatly to have nicer luggage , etc. I had boght it out of the las of the widfal money , which is gone now .
I tink I willtry to go to the ER , see if I can get some sort of treatment for my foot & my diabetes . I see this computer's letters are sticking , I'm sorry , I' notgoing t try ad orrct it anymore , if you care and can't tell what I amsaing please ask me then .
My nice backpack was stolen , its ontents, book ,msicl instruments was going to trya nd busk with , the little cell-phone I had ~ F*CK THE PERSON WHO STOLE FROM ME ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I am now homeless in Santa Cruz , my stolen stuff not erplaced , trying to busk to make money and whatever - but I think the cops may be being specially strict this holiday weekend:-( .

...I think I said more in another line about what happened in-between the last post here , but ~ I am still homeless , in Santa Cruz , wanting to get to Washington State , but the money to get there : ~
I have received seven different infraction tickets , IIRC , from the police , mostly for homeless camping , in the last two-ish weeks - Those are the same sort of tickets that , after building up and me not going to umpteen hearings about them (Since I had no money to pay them or any real lawyer , really , and , homeless , could hardly drag stuff into the court) led to the 2013 jail time .
I recently found out that , after I left the nursing home , the Santa Cruz Sheriff Department put up on its Facebook page a statement that I had " left (the nursing home) not taking meds I should take "(using one of my old jail mug shots as an illustration) which was untrue , as (whether I detailed this before or not) the nursing place had completely stopped giving me ANY kind of pills or shots , I repeat , they gave me NOTHING of that by my last weeks there , the nursing place had (I'm not sure if I detailed this elsewhere ~ I don't have time to now) told me my Medicare had run out and , again , all but 100& COMPLETELY stopped giving me any medical care , though I was still sleeping there and getting food , etc....

...I think I need to get away from here ! !!

...Since I didn't spell this out ~ the mug shot that the Santa Cruz Sheriff's department put up on their facebook page on June 30 is , in fact , a 2013 jail mug shot of me IN MY (then-) JAIL OUTFIT ! In my jail uniform , after I'd been fully booked in , not an " initial arrest/civvies " mug shot !...

...Now , I am hurried agai , pleez exyooz both non-explained details and repititino as well , I am having to pound this out during a " 15-min period " at the library.........
I am in San Francisco now . I am rather stranded here now , it's not til' a week from now that I anticipate my SSD and circumstances leaving me with enough money to get to Washington state...barely .
[ I thought I had pushed " Reply " , and this would add on to my " Where ? " line .
Once again , I pushed the wrong button , AND I REALLY CAN'T " open a new window " , or whatever , my computer skills , even not when rushed and limited like this ARE EXTREMELY LIMITED , and I DON'T WANT TO TYPE IT again ! !! !! !! !! !! ]
I am " sleeping-outside " homeless now , ad my toes are the same although I left several days i St. Francis Hospital getting touched up . However , that cut me off from all contact with others .
They , too , were pushing me to okay an amputation .
I am repeating myself?? I imagine that this is unavoidable , but I want to get to my would-be new home first , where I have already sent things and arranged for things to be sent , hopefully to build up a little friendship/acqaitance and resources first . The medicos who push an amputation no0w don't , ion fact , say that I " have to have one NOW " , remember .
I WANT TO GET OUT OF CALIFORNIA !
THERE IS NOTHING HERE FOR ME NOW ~ <<<<<<<<<<<ESPECIALLY>>>>>>>>>>> IN SAN FRANCISCO ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Oh , it DID go up as a " Leave " reply . Good .