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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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ReticentJaeger
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29 Oct 2017, 11:03 pm

Everyone's lying to you. Sticking a fork in the electrical outlet isn't dangerous at all; it's actually the best way to wake yourself up in the morning. Skip the coffee and grab a fork.



shadowself
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30 Oct 2017, 11:49 am

Dancing on the roof in an ice storm is the best fat burning exercise ever discovered!


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One eye opened slowly, green and gold as sunlight in the woods. The cat said,"I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer."


Kiki1256
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30 Oct 2017, 12:50 pm

When you go fishing, throw the fish at nearby sailboats and shout "Fishy fishy"!



DataB4
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21 Nov 2017, 6:37 pm

I love the one about the fork! :D

Climb every mountain... 'Til you find your... nightmare? Wait, what? That's not how the song goes.



Trogluddite
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21 Nov 2017, 8:17 pm

To quickly and easily clean ketchup [catsup] stains out of your clothes, wash them in used motor oil. If you're in a hurry to get them dry after cleaning, you can get it done in a jiffy by gently playing the flame of a blowtorch over them.

Fresh as the day you bought them in just these two simple steps! :D

PS: How on earth did I not see this thread before!? I haven't laughed so much for ages! :lol:


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Lost_dragon
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23 Nov 2017, 6:52 am

If you happen to be bullied, just ignore them, and your problems will go away! :roll:


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shadowself
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23 Nov 2017, 11:45 am

When meeting your new love interest's family for the first time it is best to always bring a hatchet and whetstone with you. At any awkward lull in the conversation simply pull out your hatchet and start sharpening it. The soft rasping noises with add to the cozy ambience, plus his/her parents will see that you are skilled with tools and responsible in tool maintainence!


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One eye opened slowly, green and gold as sunlight in the woods. The cat said,"I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer."


elbowgrease
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27 Nov 2017, 5:38 pm

It is a good idea to wear a blindfold while driving, and you should be sure to push the gas pedal all the way down. I've also heard that it's generally appreciated if you honk your horn as much as possible.



elbowgrease
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27 Nov 2017, 5:41 pm

221B wrote:
when you're feeling terribly lonely, call a random number and order pizza.


This is an awesome idea!



SaveFerris
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27 Nov 2017, 7:07 pm

Advice for new parents:

Estimate your babies size when it grows up and name them Small , Medium , Large , Extra Large accordingly. When they grew up they will automatically have their names sewn into their clothes.


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jrjones9933
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29 Nov 2017, 10:17 am

Click on all the links


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shadowself
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29 Nov 2017, 12:25 pm

^and if it asks you to download something, just click yes.


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One eye opened slowly, green and gold as sunlight in the woods. The cat said,"I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer."


KyleTheGhost
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29 Nov 2017, 3:17 pm

Play music way too loudly.


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komamanga
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29 Nov 2017, 5:36 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Advice for new parents:

Estimate your babies size when it grows up and name them Small , Medium , Large , Extra Large accordingly. When they grew up they will automatically have their names sewn into their clothes.


:heart:



hobojungle
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29 Nov 2017, 5:49 pm

If mother’s getting too big for her britches, get her bigger pants & then tell her it’s because she’s too fat. Hope that helps.



elbowgrease
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19 Dec 2017, 10:48 pm

When trying to start a conversation, look for a person with a briefcase. Sit down next to them and ask them if they brought the ransom money.
Works every time.