Aspies hate me!
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,472
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
How do you know they have AS? are they diagnosed?
Also if they actually do have AS(I admit I am doubting it), and think people with a more severe case of it make aspergers look bad....then they aren't worth having as 'friends'. usually those sorts of friendships are more about a couple people having someone to make fun of/pick on in a subtle manner for their entertainment while having the person think they're 'friends'.
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We won't go back.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,472
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Sounds like they are already letting their stigma show by being intolerant of a 'friend' who is more obviously effected by AS....you mean they are afraid of stigma and will hide their AS to avoid it even at the expense of others who share their diagnoses.....that is if these people actually have AS.
_________________
We won't go back.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,472
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Wait working to appear 'normal' is 'improving'? I fully disagree with that statement....I think improving would be finding ways of attaining a better quality of life and better ways to cope with some of the un-pleasantries of having autism like sensory issues. I mean why should an autistic person spend all their energy trying to be something they aren't....rather then using it to find was of improving their lives while accepting the autism.
Of course people with autism might want to consider how they come off to others, and work on making sure they aren't coming off as rude or going out of their way to do something that would bother people, autism isn't just a free pass to act like an a** and then say 'oh its my autism' but 'acting' normal/neurotypical to me is not the same thing as 'improving' except in the sense that if you get better at acting normal then you are improving on your acting....but I don't see it as 'self' improvement...anymore than I'd see a neurotypical trying to 'act' autistic and passing as autistic as a self improvement for them.
_________________
We won't go back.
I am more tolerant of aspie traits in others since Ive been officially dxd recently.
Used to be more annoyed by people who reminded me of my younger self than I am now (partially because Im more tolerent of those traits in myself now that I dxd).
But about these friends of yours: its impossible to say without more information. Maybe theyve struggled to over come stuff- and you dont appear to be trying as hard as they (to have social graces, or to read between the lines of conversation, or whatever). So they feel the urge to kick your butt, and give you tough coaching (like a drill sargeant). And if I hung with you- I might join them in doing the same. Maybe. Or maybe not. Its hard to tell from this distance: how you act, how they act in response to how you act, and what their motivations might be to react however it is they react to your behavior.
I still get annoyed sometimes but only because I am reminded of myself or how I used to be. But if they are younger than me and I used to be that way at that age, I am more tolerant. I just assume they will get better.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Wait working to appear 'normal' is 'improving'? I fully disagree with that statement....I think improving would be finding ways of attaining a better quality of life and better ways to cope with some of the un-pleasantries of having autism like sensory issues. I mean why should an autistic person spend all their energy trying to be something they aren't....rather then using it to find was of improving their lives while accepting the autism.
Of course people with autism might want to consider how they come off to others, and work on making sure they aren't coming off as rude or going out of their way to do something that would bother people, autism isn't just a free pass to act like an a** and then say 'oh its my autism' but 'acting' normal/neurotypical to me is not the same thing as 'improving' except in the sense that if you get better at acting normal then you are improving on your acting....but I don't see it as 'self' improvement...anymore than I'd see a neurotypical trying to 'act' autistic and passing as autistic as a self improvement for them.
Sorry, what I meant in bold was improving social skills.
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“Oh - You're a very bad man!
Oh, no my dear. I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad Wizard.”
― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
NaturalProcess
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 26 Jun 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
Location: USA
Wait working to appear 'normal' is 'improving'? I fully disagree with that statement....I think improving would be finding ways of attaining a better quality of life and better ways to cope with some of the un-pleasantries of having autism like sensory issues. I mean why should an autistic person spend all their energy trying to be something they aren't....rather then using it to find was of improving their lives while accepting the autism.
Of course people with autism might want to consider how they come off to others, and work on making sure they aren't coming off as rude or going out of their way to do something that would bother people, autism isn't just a free pass to act like an a** and then say 'oh its my autism' but 'acting' normal/neurotypical to me is not the same thing as 'improving' except in the sense that if you get better at acting normal then you are improving on your acting....but I don't see it as 'self' improvement...anymore than I'd see a neurotypical trying to 'act' autistic and passing as autistic as a self improvement for them.
Wait, some people have their own perception on what being NT, normal, or not autistic means? What you described in your post is my definition of being normal and acting normal.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
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