Housebound mostly (sorry for multiple threads)

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Sorry for another thread. I feel like **** these days and I need advice.

I am experiencing increasing paranoia and sensory overload issues which are preventing me from going out.

Paranoia was escalated by some youths in my local area calling me a "f***ing spastic" because I have an abnormal gait. Ever since then my paranoia is so bad that I can only go out after taking some Olanzapine and I only leave the house either with someone or for appointments. No appointment (and or) no one to accompany me = do not leave the house. Also I am scared of crossing main roads because my visual problems means that I get disturbed and confused vision, which is dangerous while trying to cross a main road (I have been hit by a car a few times before, and I have caused things like a motorbike skidding off the road or a car swerving because I cannot see where I am going properly).

Sensory overload - I try to beat it, opening the curtains or windows. But I get migraines from sensory overload. And when I say migraines I mean severe paresis that leaves me bedbound (or sofabound) followed by severe nausea, dizziness / vertigo and a crushing headache. When I do go out I wear sunglasses and earplugs, but once I get home I have to sleep for two hours to reduce the stuporous state I go into after going out.

My dad says "go for walks", "do some voluntary work", "start cycling or running".

I can't go for long walks or running because my gait is badly coordinated and difficult. Cycling - my support worker takes me to a Cycle for Wellbeing group every Tuesday (it's for disabled people and accompanying support workers only) but I felt shameful when I couldn't use a two wheeled bike and needed a three wheeled bike, and even then I kept swerving.

As for voluntary work, I get EXTREME exhaustion from human interaction. Even after going to uni for a morning, I need 500ml sugary Coke and two coffees when I get home, followed by a two hour nap, before I can even start revision.

I have an idea to ask the NAS if they can support me on a Saturday to go out for a walk somewhere or go to a museum or something, just to keep me active (I spend whole weekends at home barely exercising most of the time).

Advice?

Low volume nature sound recordings? You can find free streams online.

I have rainfall recordings which I find relaxing.

C suggested that I buy a rowing machine for the house so that I can get fit at home, and I also love rowing machines and music combined. All I have to do is ask my dad for permission (it's his house) and perhaps help with paying for it and then I can order it.

My advice is that you acquire a needle for your multiple threads.

I suppose that you can ascertain from the fact that I have just attempted to make a joke (based on the thread title), that you should relax.

I wouldn't suggest heavy consumption of caffeine prior to sleep either.

I only drink caffeine prior to sleep so that the caffeine can reach maximum blood plasma concentration when I get up.

Relaxation would be easy if I weren't so depressed most of the time.

I just emailed my NAS support worker asking if I can get weekend support, obviously I'd have to pay extra but my dad said he would help me out financially (he lives in Cyprus).

What is the main reason you feel depressed? Is it that you see obtaining a medical degree to be an impossibility?

I do yoga at home to videos for activity. I do the best I can with the poses I can do. It is not perfect, but it provides balance work with out an audience. I have poor coordination due to propiocepion (sp?) problems so I look very clumsy if I am in a group class. Even if you do swerve on a 3 wheel bike, over time it can help with your movement and coordination.

I am sorry you were insulted because of your gait. That is their fault, not yours.

Main reason why I am depressed: I'm inputting large amounts of factual information into my head, but I can't output it anywhere, I can't use my knowledge (such as a job). Also the medical degree being an impossibility is very depressing; I used to fantasise about it as a teenager. Now it is gone.

Thanks. I will see if I can find some yoga videos on YouTube. True about the three wheeled bike.

I failed the Romberg's test.

If you ever feel like it you could create threads of information on this website, or post whatever you wanted in PMs to various members (such as myself). I don't suppose that would be the outlet you seem to be hoping for, but from my point of view it would be better than nothing.

Surely there will be a way for you to obtain a medical degree. If you can prove your potential (knowledge etc.) to a person in power, that's a way to start.

I have a criminal record from when I was sectioned in hospital - I attacked a doctor (she wasn't hurt though as I was thankfully stopped). I was very ill at the time and had no concept of reality, but it still went on my criminal record. I don't know when it will be removed (I think it is time limited).

I also have been sectioned over 10 times since I was 16, under the Mental Health Act, often with police presence.

Surely with a record like that I'd never be accepted into med school, even though my section 2's and 136's are not on my criminal record, that attacking the doctor stuff is. That is why I've been avoiding certain voluntary work positions.

Maybe you should try some diet and supplements. It might help with your depression, lack of energy and sensory issues.

Have you ever had sensory integration/occupational therapy? I recommend that.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I know how you feel with the depression, paranoia, and being housebound mostly. I don't have any solutions though. Sorry.

it wont be as simple or as quick as that unfortunately.
will need to ask social worker-the NAS have got no control over extra support days.
the social worker has got to prepare a case for having extra hours,explaining to them how it will get used/the positive impacts it will have on life etc and apply to the funding board which can be difficult to get unless are classed as having twenty four hour/around the clock support needs,but the fact have got no other support will probably go in favour.
if are given an extra day will need to make sure the support gets used long term,otherwise social services funding board will take it away.

have had a lot of experience with them and how it works;when a past resident in social services learning [intelectual] disability run residential care they absolutely sucked for supporting severe challenging behavior & high complex needs and on top was given four full days of outreach support a week from the NAS,two to one staffing.
eventualy was kicked out of one of the residentials and was took in by mum and dad to avoid going into temperary care in a place am unfamiliar with, they tried to apply for extra days considering the circumstances but were refused.

the NAS arent the cheapest autism support company around so it can be hard to get their support,theyre paid more,they get better staff.

My Dad and I pay for my NAS support privately because my care coordinator said that a personal budget is near impossible to get. In fact I kept getting emails asking if I want to increase my hours.

I'd agree that the NAS are rubbish at challenging behaviour - I had a meltdown in an underground station recently and my support worker didn't seem sure what to do. Now I avoid the underground at all costs. Another time I punched a hole into the wall at uni and my support worker didn't have a clue about what to do.

I'll try eating more healthily. [