Jealousy and autism

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Does autism have anything to do with feeling jealous and rivalrous and envious of people who share the same intrests than you and with if you think they're being better than you at that things you try and want to be better and the best at that thing because i always feel that so does anyone here go through this too

Zajie, Welcome to WP.

I think competitiveness and jealousy are human traits. I know many people who feel this way and they are not on the Spectrum. Now if you are on the Spectrum I think you might possibly feel it with much more intensity than other people and your anxiety levels and insecurities that come from being on the Spectrum might play a part in that as well but those traits are certainly not Spectrum specific.

Thank you
Yes i usually keep getting it more than others and cant get over it like they do, but maybe like you mentioned maybe anxiety and low self esteem have to do something with it

You are welcome!
And also, it is a well documented phenomenon that people on the Spectrum not only feel the emotions they feel much stronger than their NT counterparts but that they also have a lot of trouble with letting go so these emotions can be processing in your brain and stay with you for a long time.

What really helps me with that sort of thing, I love sports and one of my special interests is skiing, is to really understand that I am doing it for myself. When I compete, I compete against myself to better my personal performance. That way I am not constantly comparing myself to others. I also try to keep in mind that the other athletes are trying their best as well so if their best happens to be better than my best on that day then they deserve the win and I can be happy for them and encourage them. And if I do my very best, I can be proud of that because there is nothing I could have done better in that moment so whatever place I got, I earned it and that is what makes me happy.

In my recent Special Olympics kayak races I was just as excited and proud of my silver medal as I was of my gold because I knew that there was nothing I could have done differently in that race. I did the very best I could and so second place was just as exhilarating as first place would have been. And I was so excited for and proud of the boy who beat me because I know I pushed him and he had to do his best to win.

And if someone is better at skiing or kayaking or biking or whatever I am doing than I am, I like to ask that person if he or she will teach me somethings. That way it makes me better too. So you can take that jealousy and turn it around and use it to reach out to those people who are better than you and have them help you become better as well. And if you have trouble talking to people, trying to talk to them while you are engaged in your special interest might make it easier for you and that will help you practice and get better at talking to other people.

Last edited by skibum on 18 Sep 2014, 2:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I would agree with skibum in that jealousy is simply a human trait. Imo, it's the absolute worst feeling in the world.

I thought jealousy was a female NT trait. Usually when I post on WP about why women give me funny looks even though I always look presentable and I'm attractive and slim etc, the answer I get is usually ''they're probably jealous of you''. I think competitiveness is an NT trait what some Autistics can also have too.

But getting angry and frustrated through jealousy could be a different type of jealousy what Autistics can get like. I've often been jealous of people who don't suffer from any conditions like Asperger's, and it caused me to be depressed and miserable. When an NT relative or friend announced that they are going on a date or having a day out with friends or going somewhere on holiday where I would like to go, etc, I suddenly got really jealous, and I had to remove myself from the situation and go into my bedroom and cry. Then the self-hatred started kicking in, and I would either come on WP swearing about how much I hate my life and how luckier everyone else are than me, or write it down in a book if it's too much for people to read on the internet. I still get jealous of people now who are popular or always have a lot to chat about or have about 5 men ask them out a day, but it doesn't get me angry or depressed any more because I have gone a long way to help myself and my life is finally going somewhere, so I finally have something to focus on, other than what others are doing with their lives.

That is awesome Joe!

I never knew that information about autism thank you for the information
Your story is inspiring it made me smile
I felt the same way you did but what if the person you're jealous of lives so far away and you only heard of them from the internet or you dont even know where they live

Yeah me too i agree but people with autism usually take it more seriously, it is its really so depressing

Yes i always get angry whenever i get jealous i feel that im worthless and that i will never be one of those popular people for whatever reason they are popular i get really jealous and angry when i see people getting compliments especially if for example someone got so many compliments on their drawing and i draw but no one conpliments me very much it really makes so angry and jealous wishing i was that person also whenever whenever one of my friends is befriending a new person even they didnt change on me or anything it makes me feel angry and envious and ditched