"Girlfriends are expensive..."

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Snowy Owl
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09 Mar 2007, 10:59 pm

I often hear this claim made by men who have, or have had, girlfriends. Is there any truth to that statement? Do many women expect men to pay for food, gifts and other items during the relationship and dating process? Or is this unusual?



09 Mar 2007, 11:26 pm

It depends on the relationship. My brother and his girlfriend, they each take turns paying everytime they go out.
With my first relationship, my ex and I took turns paying like when we go to the movie, one of us would buy the food and the other buys the tickets. Unfortunitly in my second one, I haven't really paid anyhting yet or taken him out anywhere but only bought him chocolate for Valentine's. I been keeping my money saved is why. I don't have a job again yet and hoping I get one this month if I'm hired. I haven't really done anything fun for myself either. My fun is stuff that is free.



Mitch8817
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09 Mar 2007, 11:27 pm

Generally, I would say that they are the social roles we have adopted - men pay, men lead, men make the choices. All throughout history it was the man who 'courted' the female. I guess it's also tied into the supposed 'inferiority' of women, how we have to do all these things for them. In any case, start saving.


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Apatura
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09 Mar 2007, 11:31 pm

I always saw it as an act of chivalry when the guy paid, though I never wanted to do anything expensive and was always uncomfortable receiving gifts.



SpectreWithin
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10 Mar 2007, 1:03 am

I've only had one serious long-term relationship (the one I'm currently in) and we share the costs of everything equally. We alternate paying for dinner, groceries, movies etc. I think the notion that the guy should always pay for everything is outdated. Actually my girlfriend makes more money in her job than I do. I think its most fair if both contribute equally financially as much as possible. If one person is low on income of course some comprimise is necessary - and if you're with the right person they should be understanding of that.

I will say though that I think relationships in general (either girlfriend or boyfriend) do cost more than being single. Since being in this relationship I have spent a lot more than I normally would - because we enjoy going out to eat, to movies, buying things for our house, etc. When I was single I would not go out nearly as much (since it generally sucks going out alone). We both play a lot on our computers so I also bought a laptop just so it would be easier for us to game and surf together - which I probably wouldn't have bought if I weren't in a relationship. So things like that can come up which make it more expensive.



Popsicle
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10 Mar 2007, 2:02 am

While you are dating, especially if you ask her out somewhere, you should pay. This is my opinion. Just don't ask her places you can't afford. There are cheap ways to go out and have fun.

If you are in a commited long term relationship then usually both people pay their own way. However, fair or not, I won't lie - women DO love it when a man offers to pay for dinner or pay for the evening out (movie, etc.).

Personally I see it as a sign the man is selfish if he asks the woman to go dutch or pay for him when they are first courting. And in my personal experience, when men have done so, they HAVE turned out to be selfish and/or jerks.

Also my opinion - but you should not be thinking of a human being as expensive. If you love them, why be stingy.



Cheerlessleader
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10 Mar 2007, 2:45 am

Personally I wouldn't like to have a guy spend too much money on me. It makes me feel awkward.



calandale
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10 Mar 2007, 2:56 am

I probably have never been in a relationship in which I spent more on a woman than she spent on me. I'm incredibly tight-fisted, and have always been poor. I did often give gifts that I'd find though. In a lot of ways, it's the symbol that you are thinking of someone/want to spend time with them that is important. Long walks are a lot cheaper than dinner dates. 'Course, this is from someone who only has been on one 'date' as I define the term - and it turned out awful.



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10 Mar 2007, 5:07 am

It depends on the girl. Some of them want you to pay for most/all of everything, some want to pay equal...some will pay for you even. Watch out for the ones that are always trying to make you buy them things constantly. They call those "gold diggers" and they only want your money.



calandale
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10 Mar 2007, 6:37 am

Lucky I never had any then.



richardbenson
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11 Mar 2007, 6:09 pm

im sure theres some truth to that


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iwamoto
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11 Mar 2007, 7:55 pm

it realy depends on the girl, my ex was realy hammering on the whole role thing, whilst my current girlfriend is more like "i dont realy care, let's just pay both" wich is ofcourse a way better solution, let's just say, if women want to be treated the same way as men (wich i am for) they should also pay their own bills, right?



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11 Mar 2007, 7:58 pm

I hope anyone I date in the future isn't high-maintenance, and doesn't want to spend all my money.

Tim


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12 Mar 2007, 12:23 am

From my experience, girlfriends (or to be politically correct, "relationships") are expensive. I just broke up with my first and only girlfriend, for reasons I'd rather not talk about (not financial). I added up how much money I spent on her, and it was a lot. My ex-girlfriend is fairly old-school, in a sense that she expected me to pay for everything, even though she had a real job. I added up the costs: dates, gifts, driving, and Valentine's Day gifts. Everything totaled to $350, in a course of about one month. The grand total she spent on me was less than $5 (a coffee and a bus fare). From an economic standpoint, it's clearly an unfeasible operation.

So I'm going back to the way men have been getting sex since the dawn on human life: escorts. Before anything remotely similar to modern civilization appeared, that profession already existed. Thousands of years later, it's still alive and well. Most escorts in the city where I live charge from $250 to $400 an hour, with the average being $300. Relationship or escorts? You do the math! I visit an escort at least once every three months to get my sexual fix, quickly and easily. No wracking my brain over what gifts to buy, no emotional drama from doing the "wrong" thing, no worrying about her cheating on me, and not having to ever hear "we need to talk". My sex drive is not that strong, so once every few months is enough for me.



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12 Mar 2007, 1:23 am

Yeah girlfriends are expensive. My last one lived 40 miles from my house (20 from my college). So getting to her was expensive. Then there were the dates, which I let her pay ONCE. I paid for the rest. Then there were random times I'd pick her up from her school with a bouquet of roses... Funny thing is, I did the math recently, and I figured out that in 2 months of dating her, I spent close to $1000. The real wallet killer for me was the gasoline. It was the only reason we broke up. Thanks a lot oil companies!


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calandale
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12 Mar 2007, 1:29 am

You could hitch.