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Zajie
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27 Jan 2015, 5:22 am

I usually stalk people when I like them/want to be their friend
I was wondering about others and if everyone stalk for similar reasons because someone in my class stalked me and didn't want me to know (liked one of my pictures on instagram then unliked it instantly and she doesn't even follow me and I don't follow her) so I was wondering does this person really want to be my friend because people usually don't want to be friends to me, most talk to me then leave me and start even ignoring me because they don't like my behaviors but this person is 'weird' also so I was wondering if this person was stalking me because of the same reasons I stalk others
What are some reasons people stalk eachother???



nick007
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27 Jan 2015, 3:02 pm

They're attracted to something about the person & want a romantic relationship with them. They become obsessed about something to do with the person.


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Sweetleaf
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27 Jan 2015, 3:36 pm

I don't know if looking someone up on the internet counts as stalking, or liking a picture or status of theirs. But it's very possible she's doing that the same reason you would.


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Zajie
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27 Jan 2015, 4:06 pm

nick007 wrote:
They're attracted to something about the person & want a romantic relationship with them. They become obsessed about something to do with the person.

Thats a possibility to why people stalk others and also wanting their friendship is possible, I also think getting entertained by the person's status/pictures makes you stalk their profile
When I stalk someone I enjoy doing it and it becomes an obsession later on haha
Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't know if looking someone up on the internet counts as stalking, or liking a picture or status of theirs. But it's very possible she's doing that the same reason you would.

Checking that person's profile and their posts means you want to know about them without their knowledge which is stalking I think and accidently liking one post then unliking it makes me think that person was stalking so thats why they instantly unliked because they wouldn't want the person they stalked to know, well thats me when I stalk but I don't know about others



felinesaresuperior
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28 Jan 2015, 3:16 pm

Please be careful. you follow people you like. that doesnt make you a stalker. a stalker is someone who's out to hurt you, a predator.

maybe this person follows you because he likes you, but maybe he's planning to hurt you.

i also tried once or twice to find out where someone i liked lived so i could 'accidentally' bump into him and look surprised. but i couldnt find out, and i'm glad i didnt, because people might get mad when you do this. they wouldnt understand. they'll become suspicious. they might involve the police, and the police have a rather nasty reputation when dealing with autistic people.


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felinesaresuperior
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28 Jan 2015, 3:17 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't know if looking someone up on the internet counts as stalking, or liking a picture or status of theirs. But it's very possible she's doing that the same reason you would.


oh, the net...

thanks for making this clear. i thought following someone literally. i take everything literally.


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Zajie
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28 Jan 2015, 3:50 pm

felinesaresuperior wrote:
Please be careful. you follow people you like. that doesnt make you a stalker. a stalker is someone who's out to hurt you, a predator.

maybe this person follows you because he likes you, but maybe he's planning to hurt you.

i also tried once or twice to find out where someone i liked lived so i could 'accidentally' bump into him and look surprised. but i couldnt find out, and i'm glad i didnt, because people might get mad when you do this. they wouldnt understand. they'll become suspicious. they might involve the police, and the police have a rather nasty reputation when dealing with autistic people.

I don't follow people in real life except once when I was a kid but I got scared and stopped it because I didn't want others to know, I also never noticed someone following me
This person in my class seems autistic to me from the way of interacting with others



Feyokien
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30 Jan 2015, 5:02 am

I wouldn't, I'll follow my friends, but I'm inhibited from going after anyone new offensively unless they show interest in me. They have to choose/stalk me I guess. I'm not going to purposely bring the burden that I can be into someone elses life unless they so wish it upon themselves.



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30 Jan 2015, 5:24 am

The word "stalk" is handed out like candy these days, real stalkers are very, very dangerous people and should be treated as such.

But if you mean harmless "stalking" like what you described, just choosing to sit near someone in class you like, well, it's self explanatory, is it not?


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jk1
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30 Jan 2015, 7:47 am

Someone usually stalks someone else when he/she is obsessed with the other person for some reason. One of my classmates when I was at uni stalked another classmate. He misunderstood the relationship between himself and her. He thought she loved him. She was only playing (she wasn't totally innocent). When she got engaged to a man from her church, he renounced his religion (Islam) because she was Christian, kept following her everywhere, even broke into her house to get her new mobile number and ended up breaking her engagement (because her fiancé thought she was a slut). So the consequences were pretty serious although he wasn't exactly scary. I believe something like this is a typical case of stalking.



ReticentJaeger
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30 Jan 2015, 8:14 am

Did the definition of 'stalking' change overnight?



blue_bean
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30 Jan 2015, 8:58 am

*shrugs* I'm "stalking" someone on FB right now (a seller on carsales who gave his full name. no mention of the car he's selling on his page though). I've also "stalked" guys I met on dating sites when they started doing the whole ghosting thing. I have absolutely no guilt in doing it in the latter instance.

I think I kinda had a stalker when I was 17-18 and a friend of my mum gave this guy who liked me my number (16 years my senior he was!). He rang our house multiple times on the weekends with those silent creepy calls where they just stay silent on the line for 30 seconds before hanging up. You could tell it was him because there was pub noise in the background, he was ringing from the Kew pub payphone.

As far as real stalking goes, I think it happens due to the stalkers lack of social ability to form a two-sided relationship with his interest. People can get so distanced from RL socialising that their only relationships become the one-sided ones they have with celebrities on TV or fictional characters. Then when they meet a RL person they only know how to have that same one-sided relationship. They're usually too empathy impaired to realize how much their behavior scares their target. That's the harmless type of stalker I guess. Then there's the other type to do it to try and control you and monitor your activities (like a psycho ex partner or something).



Zajie
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30 Jan 2015, 2:18 pm

Sorry for making people misunderstand by using the word "stalking"
I didn't refer to the real stalking I meant when you keep checking up someone online all the time and looking at their profiles through social media



Feyokien
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30 Jan 2015, 3:51 pm

Zajie wrote:
Sorry for making people misunderstand by using the word "stalking"
I didn't refer to the real stalking I meant when you keep checking up someone online all the time and looking at their profiles through social media


I don't get it, I instantly got the kind you were talking about. Otherwise this thread would have been locked down in an instant.

A better word might be "pursue", which then would turn into real stalking if the person declined and you continued to go after them.

I won't even pursue most people for reasons stated, I try to keep as few connections as possible.



Zajie
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31 Jan 2015, 3:33 am

Feyokien wrote:
Zajie wrote:
Sorry for making people misunderstand by using the word "stalking"
I didn't refer to the real stalking I meant when you keep checking up someone online all the time and looking at their profiles through social media


I don't get it, I instantly got the kind you were talking about. Otherwise this thread would have been locked down in an instant.

A better word might be "pursue", which then would turn into real stalking if the person declined and you continued to go after them.

I won't even pursue most people for reasons stated, I try to keep as few connections as possible.

I might stalk people back when I know they stalked me or I might show signs that I like them if they showed signs that they like me, sometimes I approach them because most people who like me are shy



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31 Jan 2015, 6:30 am

Zajie wrote:
Sorry for making people misunderstand by using the word "stalking"
I didn't refer to the real stalking I meant when you keep checking up someone online all the time and looking at their profiles through social media

I figured as much. Either way, I don't really bother with this. I don't care what my ex girlfriends are up to, but I'll admit I know some friends from high school's life story thanks to facebook despite not talking to them in 7 years, and it really isn't even by choice, I'll just be sitting around doing nothing and right there on my newsfeed is their drama. :?

For what it's worth I set my facebook to where only friends can see what I post for that reason, though..


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