ASD & PTSD

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I had a very strong need for friendship and acceptance, thus why the treatment I received wore on me so heavily, even though I was never physically threatened.

When I was in school, the relational bullying (if I'm understanding "relational bullying" correctly, never heard the term before ) wasn't even considered a thing. To this day I still tell myself I wasn't REALLY bullied, because nobody ever beat me up, nobody ever accosted me in the halls (well, almost never), nobody ever set out to publicly humiliate me in a major way, nobody ever even surrounded me and mocked me mercilessly. It was very, very subtle in most cases for me, and there was far more rejection/ignoring than outright mockery. But it took its toll on me anyway. Back then, I was told to just ignore it, get over it, those kids weren't worth thinking about, sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bones or whatever.

--digression--
The ONE time I did summon the courage to talk to the guidance counselor about a couple of girls who were harassing me daily, he asked if I could identify them, and I looked in the yearbook and picked out their pictures--to this day I still remember their names. Nothing was ever done. What was the point of that? I ended up having to take a circuitous route through the school, nearly being late for class, just to avoid them. Still don't understand why they targeted me...the saddest thing is, they vaguely reminded me of myself and my former best friend, even in physical appearance. Did they consider what they were doing to be just a fun time, the way my old friend and I would do goofy stuff together...?
--end of digression--

I see all the anti-bullying ads on TV nowadays and while I think it's good that it's finally considered a thing, I also feel rather resentful and ask myself, where was this awareness when *I* needed it...?



Interesting. I too feel like I stopped growing up at a young age; I identify it as around age 12, which incidentally was the last time I was truly happy, around the time the one friend I ever had who really understood me moved away, the time when I entered junior high and left the happiness/simplicity of elementary school behind, and when I started getting rejected by my peers. I. e., when life started going downhill. Though in reality my emotional/mental age seems to be somewhat higher than that...in my dreams of returning to school (which I have VERY frequently, had one just the other night) I'm usually a teenager.

I'd still be playing with toy animals and running around pretending I'm a talking dog if society--and my overbearing self-awareness--permitted it...



Ugh God I hate questions like that. They feel like traps--no right answers.

I guess my own therapy experience has left me bitter. I was so humiliated and ashamed when my treatment was terminated that I never even summoned the courage to fill out and return my dismissal forms so they could close my case. I was so glad when my dentist moved his office out of that same building; I could never go back there for treatment even if I had the chance. Yet more trauma!

I had very bad ptsd after a person tried kissing me against my will, I did treatment and I'm ok now, but I experience flashbacks, nigthmares, etc... I think most nt wouldn't have ptsd after that, but for me was truly horrible..

I've yet to see the full lecture (will post again around noon) but I'm about to have a lecture on Autism for my Challenging Behaviours module and one of the slides has "Post Traumatic Stress" in regards to memory, as far as I could discern in meant about sensory processes but I could be wrong.

I will get back later and see if any references are provided.

I exhibit PTSD but I was also sexually abused as a child, so I couldn't give you an accurate estimation if it's because of autism or abuse-- but it does seem that autistics have a higher frequency of PTSD.

This. Idk why people have to put a value judgement on trauma. My therapist diagnosed me w/o meeting the DSM definition of trauma because of my AS, and because he's been witnessing symptoms for years. Apparently, I remind him of the combat vets and POWs he worked w/ at the VA.

Disappointingly, all that was said was 'Can only process one thing at a time - Post traumatic stress'. The lecture also wrote that autistic don't have a conscience on his slides. I was most unimpressed. It's why I was so late responding.

Yeah I don't know why either. The way I look at it, trauma can not be measured by what comes at a person from outside themselves. Trauma is what happens inside the person.

I found a really interesting page that talks about the health effects of PTSD.

http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm



Maybe this explains our sleep problems.

I have cPTSD from physical and sexual abuse as a child, being locked up in a small bathroom for a year, having a pistol put in my nose and the trigger pulled when I was 5, being burned, etc., etc. It was extreme.and went on for years. But often folks aren't able to recall early traumas specifically but still experience the symptoms. And in that case, there can be what seem.to be extreme reactions to moderate challenges. A social encounter or other event that feels out-of-control can trigger old trauma and abuse where we originally felt.out-of-control. Those extreme reactions to 'ordinary' events and stimuli are a hallmark of PTSD. They are part of resolving the trauma and just because what may be triggering us now doesn't seem serious doesn't mean it's not PTSD. In fact the strong reactions to seemingly normal stimuli *is* PTSD. For me if I feel like I'm getting trapped in a social situation, I get hugely stressed because it triggers memories of being locked away. I try to honor those feelings, work to understand them, and make a safe place for myself. I don't really expect most folks to understand it, but I need to take care of myself anyway. Some people keep pushing me, like at work or socially, but I need to take care of myself no matter what they understand or not. People generally know little about autism and PTSD and often say callous, stupid, mean, degrading things so I'm very cautious about mentioning it except to close friends. Some NTs seem to get some kind of gratification from belittling, putting down, or making fun at the expense of any 'weird' people around. I've learned not to make myself an easy targer for them.

Very well said. PTSD can stem from an early childhood trauma that the person may not even remember.

Also, events that might seem "ordinary" to us as adults, might have been much more traumatizing to us as children.

So is this the point where I need to pull out my past sexual abuse card? Because I don't think I can do that. I can't even process what happened in my own mind let alone telling someone else about it.

Having been sexually abused or assaulted is so very common for people on the spectrum, well, also so very common in general that you could do that with the aim of educating so perhaps no one else needs to suffer this.

Not sure it would fix the lack of understanding. You could try.

But you shouldn't have to say anything you don't want to.

Relational bullying refers to bullying someone by manipulating relationships. For example, telling someone they have to X, Y or Z or you won't be their friend, or telling lies or secrets about them to others to turn others against them.

An atypical ABA psychologist discusses the overlooked factor of PTSD in autism here:

https://www.facebook.com/autismdiscussi ... 5275530644

All right, thank you for clarifying. I had misunderstood the original post, though I've had "friends" do this to me many times as well.

My mom has mentioned about me having it but I have never believed it because I cannot relate to people with it and I don't have the symptoms but perhaps I am just looking at the extreme cases. She said I have delayed stress or whatever she called it and she says I don't have the condition PTSD, she just uses it as a label, a category. I think you can have PTSD symptoms and not have enough for the diagnoses or have it strong enough for it but yet it affects you enough that is causes some impairment. I do think PTSD is common in autism, therapies can be traumatizing for a kid on the spectrum and I can't really relate to that because I have never been traumatized by any therapy but perhaps because my mom never made me feel like I was broken and needed fixing. I didn't have to work 8 hours a day. I did fun classes that would help with my sensory or motor or balance normal kids took such as swimming or pottery or gymnastics and voice lessons which helped with my speech and talking rhythm. Teasing and bullying can be traumatizing for a kid with autism specially when they don't have an adult who understands so they easily dismiss it and treat the autistic child like the bad guy and invalidate their feelings. I think rejections can be traumatizing too. I have been rejected a lot and now I am afraid that no one is going to like me so I don't approach people because I think i might goof up or saying something wrong or give off the wrong impression of myself. I also think when an autistic child has been bullied, it can make them paranoid and make them thinking everyone is being mean to them when they are not so they misread a kid's intentions and assume they are lying when they say it was an accident or they were just joking. I have read comments by people before about how aspie kids can act like a bully because of it so they attack when the other kid did nothing wrong and it's just them misreading social situations because they have been bullied so they think everyone is out to get them.

It's possible I could have been bullied in 7th grade but I will never know for sure. I was told they were just being children and they were trying to get my attention and they do it to each other. I was made out to be the crazy one. Then I read online by people, on here and on another forum that bullies tend to work in pairs and it's called gas lighting they are doing and the adults get fooled too because of it. They think the victim is crazy. My mom called this PTSD in me.

Yes, I have been just like that and I believe it to be due to PTSD, and/or the ASD reaction to the PTSD.
I describe it in terms like: disconnection, detachment, dissociation, and time-displacement.
My conscious thought can operate independently of the current "real" time or flow of time, and it's a protection mechanism. Real time is often too intense or threatening which would make reasonable thought impossible.

I've found it can sometimes be beneficial in the very short term, but is quite damaging in the long term.




What I describe becomes especially clear when dealing with things that are not "real" or material.
An easy example would be something like a movie seen on a TV or computer screen. Watching something scary with horror or gore, like say the Aliens movie series could be difficult for many people, especially right before bed. They process the information very much the same as if it were real, and that can be disturbing to them.
It is not disturbing to me because my brain filters it differently, as I know that it isn't real.

A string of insulting or hurtful words can be processed in the same way. They aren't material, and no one can really define you or hurt you by uttering a word. It's only as real as your conscious thought decides to make it.
If you lack the heavy filters between the conscious thought and the subconscious, then these things can be very painful in real-time.

It's clear to me that detachment/dissociation from experiences like this is a coping mechanism developed by the brain due to things like bullying, abuse, and PTSD.

I'm afraid that many people could confuse the outward appearance of detachment with psychopathy, but it is really very different in its nature.
From what I have studied, it seems that many, perhaps most psychopaths have an exceptional immunity to anxiety.
This makes them ideal for positions in society like public authority, leadership, celebrity, and competitive athlete.

In contrast, I think those with PTSD and/or detachment are often chronically riddled with anxiety, and struggle to function even in non-public and non-competitive areas of society.