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guzzle
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21 May 2015, 2:01 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
I don't even want to be on the same diagnosis as low functionings who flap their hands around and can barely speak. Why the hell did they have to group us together?!


Autistic bigotry in all it's glory.



starkid
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21 May 2015, 2:07 pm

guzzle wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
I don't even want to be on the same diagnosis as low functionings who flap their hands around and can barely speak. Why the hell did they have to group us together?!


Autistic bigotry in all it's glory.


Why do you assume bigotry? I can think of a legitimate reason for darkphantomx1's sentiment that does not implicate darkphantomx1 as a bigot.



Sweetleaf
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21 May 2015, 2:16 pm

Stupid forum wouldn't let me edit post...so anyways what I was going to add is, the extreme of having no diagnoses/support or anything isn't really all that much better that having too much support and help to the point of being babied and feeling smothered...both are counterproductive to healthy development I think. Somewhere between the two would probably be best and of course depending on severity.


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darkphantomx1
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21 May 2015, 2:50 pm

That's my problem. Everything in life, I have had handed to me. A job because I was in a program, good grades because my parents made sure I didn't fail, a car, a place to live, college paid by parents and we're well off financially. The truth is, I don't know the meaning of hard work. Iv'e never had to work hard for anything in my life because it's all been given to me. This is my biggest downfall because in life, you have to be willing to work hard to get what you want.

So when I do hit the real world some day and mommy and daddy are no longer around to support me, I will be screwed. Only then I will wish I would have paid attention in school more, did more productive things on the computer.

When you've had everything handed to you, you don't appreciate it as much.



goldfish21
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21 May 2015, 4:22 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
That's my problem. Everything in life, I have had handed to me. A job because I was in a program, good grades because my parents made sure I didn't fail, a car, a place to live, college paid by parents and we're well off financially. The truth is, I don't know the meaning of hard work. Iv'e never had to work hard for anything in my life because it's all been given to me. This is my biggest downfall because in life, you have to be willing to work hard to get what you want.

So when I do hit the real world some day and mommy and daddy are no longer around to support me, I will be screwed. Only then I will wish I would have paid attention in school more, did more productive things on the computer.

When you've had everything handed to you, you don't appreciate it as much.


Wonderful post. 8)

So, you acknowledge this situation exists as it does in your life and you don't like it. You're also aware that if you want something, you have to work hard for it. The said, if you want to change this about yourself and be more self sufficient (even less autistic - it's entirely possible, I've done it whether you believe me or not) then all you have to do is make a decision to work hard towards these goals and then just do it, bit by bit, day by day. It's the same process for almost all successes in life, whether physical fitness or financial independence. Work hard on yourself and become who you want to be. Then live, eat, breathe & sleep as the person you are and want to become vs. the person you allow others to condition you to be.

Kaizen. 8)


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21 May 2015, 5:20 pm

I hadn't the slightest clue I was asperger's until my 50's, and my life has been painful and featured a lot of exclusion and bullying.

However, by the autistic gift of being myself to the hilt, I have gathered friends - true friends though few. Many NTs don't have real friends, they just have associates.

Another thing I've spotted in myself is the ability to concentrate, so going for a narrow field to put that power behind has been useful.

I wouldn't dream of telling anybody how to live, but persisting in folly has worked for me.



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21 May 2015, 11:36 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
I don't even want to be on the same diagnosis as low functionings who flap their hands around and can barely speak. Why the hell did they have to group us together?! I'm tired of being compared to them. Getting rid of Aspergers diagnosis was a stupid ass decision. Because when most people think of autism, they think of low functioning special needs kids and I hate that! I don't want to be a guy with "special needs" Thats why i'd do anything to not be autistic.

I hate the fact that iv'e known my whole life that i'm autistic and I will never be normal.


Ironically one reason a lot of people who received the Aspergers diagnosis are happy it's not a diagnosis anymore is because they do not want to associate themselves with people who do not want to associate themselves with their fellow low functioning autistics. Some of them wrongly think most people who support the Aspergers label want to dissociate themselves from low functioning autistics.

The core traits are the same anyways, it is mostly a matter of language ability prior to age 3 and sometimes severity of core traits that distinguished Aspergers from Autism.


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anthropic_principle
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21 May 2015, 11:57 pm

If only I couldve went to a special school, Im sure things wouldve been better.
Theres little to no support or knowledge of the condition where I live though.
As far as I no there aren't even schools for ret*ds like me here.
I couldnt cope in the normal environment.
Its not suited for us.
If only I could've at least been medicated, or intervened on at an early age to help me socially.



goldfish21
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22 May 2015, 12:11 pm

anthropic_principle wrote:
If only I couldve went to a special school, Im sure things wouldve been better.
Theres little to no support or knowledge of the condition where I live though.
As far as I no there aren't even schools for ret*ds like me here.
I couldnt cope in the normal environment.
Its not suited for us.
If only I could've at least been medicated, or intervened on at an early age to help me socially.


Maybe.
BUT, you can't change the past.
Live in the present.
You're 20, not dead.
Do something about it now - learn, grow, change, improve.
Live as good a life as you can create for yourself. 8)


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22 May 2015, 12:12 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
anthropic_principle wrote:
If only I couldve went to a special school, Im sure things wouldve been better.
Theres little to no support or knowledge of the condition where I live though.
As far as I no there aren't even schools for ret*ds like me here.
I couldnt cope in the normal environment.
Its not suited for us.
If only I could've at least been medicated, or intervened on at an early age to help me socially.


Maybe.
BUT, you can't change the past.
Live in the present.
You're 20, not dead.
Do something about it now - learn, grow, change, improve.
Live as good a life as you can create for yourself. 8)


Always good advice!



anthropic_principle
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23 May 2015, 1:32 am

goldfish21 wrote:
anthropic_principle wrote:
If only I couldve went to a special school, Im sure things wouldve been better.
Theres little to no support or knowledge of the condition where I live though.
As far as I no there aren't even schools for ret*ds like me here.
I couldnt cope in the normal environment.
Its not suited for us.
If only I could've at least been medicated, or intervened on at an early age to help me socially.


Maybe.
BUT, you can't change the past.
Live in the present.
You're 20, not dead.
Do something about it now - learn, grow, change, improve.
Live as good a life as you can create for yourself. 8)


I feel I am quite dead to be honest.. I am housebound with a chronic pain inducing debilitating and degenerative disease, and I essentially dropped out of HS at age 16.
Absolutely nothing is moving forward and I'm only getting worse..



Suncatcher
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23 May 2015, 5:37 am

I know how you feel when it comes to friendships. I too suffered alot in life. I saw many great people dissapear in my life because my social skills f****d up. Each friendship lasted longer than the previous one, as my social skills grew over the years. It will get better!



asd123
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23 May 2015, 12:55 pm

I've spent the last few years since my aspie diagnosis trying to be normal. It hasn't worked at all, but I have gained an understanding and appreciation for the neurotypical. And trust me... they are in so much more pain than we are. They're plugged into the part of humanity that everything within us fights against. So the struggle isn't going anywhere.



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23 May 2015, 8:02 pm

I'm sorry you feel that way. I like to look at the bright side of life and celebrate all the things that make me who I am, including my autism. I hope that someday you'll be able to make peace with yourself and your autism.


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Joseph981
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22 May 2016, 2:12 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
All right....not autistic people have the experience I described.

I understand your disagreement.

But autism doesn't have to be an never-ending tragedy, either.

There are times when I wish I had a more "autistic" type of mindset--without the negative symptoms, of course. I wish I was able to view objects from more than one vantage point--sort of like how Temple Grandin viewed cows.


I know this is not the proper place for this but I simply did not see a tab leading to this or any threads (I assume most people initially come here thinking "damn I got problems, I wonder if I can learn something here" lol ; )

I'm 38 and only recently learned I had autism, I now am learning there are many many characteristics that don't just fit me but fit a whole class of people out there (autistics) and learning this helps me learn about me (and knowing what parts of me are probably from autism and what are probably from other can possibly help my understanding as well).

you said something that equates to "being autistic gives the capacity (relative to non-autistic or 'baseline') to see things from more than one viewpoint".
I do not see the 'good stuff' like this, where did you learn this. I want to see a many of the positive characteristics (not just 'things we can do' but stuff like the multiple points of view at once. the positive differences that allow us to do the things).



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22 May 2016, 9:06 am

It sounds like the progam and education you've been put through is too focused on you being autistic and won't consider what ELSE you are as a person. If that makes sense. Really feel your frustration- if they are perpetually banging on about "problem" this, "limitation" that, "lifelong challenge" the other, it must be hard to do anythhing positive. (I had the opposite problem- no-one knew why I was "wierd" so I just left to struggle.)
It does get some better, eventually. School is the pits. Stupid, vicious intolerant kids, clueless authority figures who do more damage when they try to help. Eighteen years on, I still have nightmares about it. I only had actual friends later, when there were interesting people to make friends WITH. Life hasn't been smooth, but I'm more at peace with being odd now.


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