If you are an guy and have flaws - mission impossible?

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yogiB1
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05 Jun 2015, 7:12 pm

I don't know, I actually don't look for the typical "Prince Charming" guy. Typically, they have a track record of cheating and being completely arrogant. I look for a husband, and I don't really give a crap about what he look like. I'm also a sapeosexual in a sense. A man's mind and personality are far sexier than aesthetics.

Another thing about dating a guy who isn't perfect, is that it makes me feel more comfortable about my own flaws. Therefore I can be more comfortable with myself around him, making it easier to connect. But that's just me.

Bring on the flaws, it's what makes us human.

I think someone looking for that life long commitment, isn't going to be scared of flaws, no matter how many there are.


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aspiemike
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05 Jun 2015, 10:39 pm

OP... whatever happened to you in your life to make you feel this way.

Build yourself a bridge and get over it.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Jun 2015, 9:43 am

I completely understand the OP, I sometimes feel too flawed to be dateable.



The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Jun 2015, 9:45 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Uprising wrote:
Steer clear from dating sites, especially OkC and PoF.

Avoid Tinder too, at all costs.

Totally agree. The only consequence will be that it will warp your perception of the opposite gender as either stuck up, snotty, entitled bee itches with sky high standards for men or sex crazed lunatics for women. Neither is remotely true but those free sites are filled with both stereotypes.


What if you have a little social life outside work, and don't have much exposure to new people outside the internet?



OP, I think you have is called Toxic Shame; google it.



Spiderpig
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06 Jun 2015, 11:15 am

Well, someone has to be too flawed to be dateable—there’d be no sexual selection otherwise. I definitely feel that way. In fact, any potential effort to find a woman interested in me strikes me as a shameful attempt to cheat nature.

white_as_snow wrote:
My standards is the lowest that exist.


That’s hard to believe. Would you date a morbidly obese woman, with foul body odor and breath, missing a few teeth and an eye, forty years your senior, cirrhotic, arthritic and unable to walk on her own, if she asked you out?

white_as_snow wrote:
If im not misstaken, around 5 % of males of every generation will be alone their entire life,


I don’t know whether that’s the case, but, if it is so, I’m surprised the number is so low :lol:

I think the males of other species have it much tougher. In fact, I often wonder if our species is being damaged by not removing many more individuals from the gene pool, especially males. Starvation, war and disease used to take care of that, but not so much anymore, at least in the developed world.

I also find strange that, while sexual selection is usually practised by females, in our species, males seem to have an abnormal power to perform it, too, even if it’s restricted to the top-quality ones. That seems to be the reason women’s skin became almost hairless, except in their heads, and even men lost most of the body hair their ancestors used to sport due to it being partly determined by the same genes, and why women have permanently bulging breasts, while the mammaries of all other female mammals are hardly noticeable when they’re not lactating.

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Uprising wrote:
Steer clear from dating sites, especially OkC and PoF.

Avoid Tinder too, at all costs.


Totally agree. The only consequence will be that it will warp your perception of the opposite gender as either stuck up, snotty, entitled bee itches with sky high standards for men or sex crazed lunatics for women. Neither is remotely true but those free sites are filled with both stereotypes.


I still wonder why exactly that happens in those sites. Clearly, the explanation must involve an essential difference between the sexes, or you’d see those rôles reversed about half of the time. Not that I’m advocating for any kind of action against the status quo, as both men and women have every right to set their standards as high or as low as they like.


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314pe
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07 Jun 2015, 9:02 am

white_as_snow wrote:
There is a reason that i am a lonly-wolf with no friends and unkissed.

You might be lonely but you aren't alone. I feel exactly the same. I think the best you can do is realize that many of your flaws aren't your fault, work on things that you can change and be a person YOU like. That way even if you do stay alone you would be happy. Maybe not completely happy with your situation and all, but happiest you can be.



white_as_snow
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14 Jun 2015, 3:22 pm

Here is 2 new pictures of me.

[MOD EDIT: pictures deleted at OP's request]

Be honest now, I must be one of the most ugly guy on earth?



314pe
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14 Jun 2015, 3:26 pm

You're way better looking than me.



goldfish21
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14 Jun 2015, 3:45 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I completely understand the OP, I sometimes feel too flawed to be dateable.


I used to feel that way. That's why I actively avoided a relationship. Now, since I've treated my AS symptoms, I feel pretty good - like the kind of guy I'd like to date - and thus am ever more open to the idea of meeting a significant other whenever it happens.

Health is wealth. Deal with your symptoms, feel better all around, have social success & more. Pretty simple process.


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white_as_snow
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14 Jun 2015, 3:48 pm

314pe wrote:
You're way better looking than me.


is this irony?

if you are actually serious then you must be the most ugly person on earth, becuse thats how ugly I am. Sorry if I sound harsh, not my meaning.

show a picture of you to mee in personal message if you want....I will give you a honest opinion....becuse maybe you are just imagine yourself that you are ugly...



CateJayne
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14 Jun 2015, 4:35 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
314pe wrote:
You're way better looking than me.


is this irony?

if you are actually serious then you must be the most ugly person on earth, becuse thats how ugly I am. Sorry if I sound harsh, not my meaning.

show a picture of you to mee in personal message if you want....I will give you a honest opinion....becuse maybe you are just imagine yourself that you are ugly...


You are okay-looking. Not gorgeous, not horrid, squarely in the middle 80% of the population, looks-wise, ie your physical appearance alone isn't what repels women. Though you may wish to rethink the selfies-in-the-bathroom thing.

Your self-loathing comes across on the page. Loud. Clear. You hate yourself.... and, well, that's the place you should be starting.

You think you're horrible. Why on earth would any girl think otherwise until you do?

(Looks aren't everything. Really. For actual proof of this, go look at the weddings/engagements page of your local paper. Are all the men super-model gorgeous? Super-fit? Do they all have C-suite jobs? Nope. Do this on a weekly basis to assure yourself that all sorts of non-drop-dead-gorgeous, non-wealthy men regularly do get married!!).



white_as_snow
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15 Jun 2015, 5:29 am

CateJayne wrote:
white_as_snow wrote:
314pe wrote:
You're way better looking than me.


is this irony?

if you are actually serious then you must be the most ugly person on earth, becuse thats how ugly I am. Sorry if I sound harsh, not my meaning.

show a picture of you to mee in personal message if you want....I will give you a honest opinion....becuse maybe you are just imagine yourself that you are ugly...


You are okay-looking. Not gorgeous, not horrid, squarely in the middle 80% of the population, looks-wise, ie your physical appearance alone isn't what repels women. Though you may wish to rethink the selfies-in-the-bathroom thing.

Your self-loathing comes across on the page. Loud. Clear. You hate yourself.... and, well, that's the place you should be starting.

You think you're horrible. Why on earth would any girl think otherwise until you do?

(Looks aren't everything. Really. For actual proof of this, go look at the weddings/engagements page of your local paper. Are all the men super-model gorgeous? Super-fit? Do they all have C-suite jobs? Nope. Do this on a weekly basis to assure yourself that all sorts of non-drop-dead-gorgeous, non-wealthy men regularly do get married!!).



So if I hate myself, girls will to? Thats strange. What kind of strange logic is this?

True, not everyone with a partner is good looking, but atleast they look decent and have good personality. I have nothing positive with me. Im very ugly and very boring/stupid.



Andreger
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15 Jun 2015, 7:18 am

white_as_snow wrote:
Here is 2 new pictures of me.

[MOD EDIT: pictures deleted at OP's request]


Be honest now, I must be one of the most ugly guy on earth?


You are not ugly at all, what made you think so?

By those photos I'd give you 4 of 5.



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15 Jun 2015, 7:39 am

white_as_snow wrote:
Here is 2 new pictures of me.

[MOD EDIT: pictures deleted at OP's request]


Be honest now, I must be one of the most ugly guy on earth?


uh no, but those photos aren't particularly impressive-looking either, if that's what you're getting at. :roll:



kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2015, 10:41 am

You look like a regular guy.

If you looked like Quasimodo or the Elephant Man, I could see a reason why someone would be repulsed by your looks at first glance. But you don't. You look like a regular man in the street.

I think the Elephant Man was able to get a girl, though. I'm not sure about Quasimodo.



white_as_snow
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15 Jun 2015, 10:53 am

Venger wrote:
white_as_snow wrote:
Here is 2 new pictures of me.

[MOD EDIT: pictures deleted at OP's request]


Be honest now, I must be one of the most ugly guy on earth?


uh no, but those photos aren't particularly impressive-looking either, if that's what you're getting at. :roll:


I'm VERY ugly. I would never go around and beliving that I'm good looking or even decent.