Why do lots of people think that people choose to be gay?

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Yep, that's pretty much my understanding of it too. Some people just want to feel superior to others and it rather spoils their ego trip to be told that the others a) can't help their situation and b) don't see it as a problem.

When I was a teenager and young man I identified as gay, I don't now so I can understand that orientation can change. It really, REALLY isn't something you get a choice in though- what happens, happens.

You have a choice I suppose in whether you get into a relationship with a person of the same or opposite sex to yourself but if you aren't being true to your own orientation... then you're gonna have a bad time.

But he's not gay one day and straight the next. Unless he's bi, he's either straight all the time and pretending to be gay for a movie or gay all the time and pretending to be straight for a movie. I'll try to explain it to you in a way you can relate to or at least understand better.

You have no attractions so I'm assuming you are asexual. That is who you are, your baseline, your bottom line. Asexual. Lets say you decided to have sex with somebody for money or to make them feel better because they are your friend, etc. Whatever the reason is, it's not attraction. So you have sex with them. You are still asexual even while having sex with them. You aren't heterosexual or homosexual that day and then asexual again the next day, you were always asexual, you simply chose to engage in heterosexual or homosexual sex, but your orientation was and still is asexual.

Here is an analogy that really isn't the same but it's got a similar idea. Lets say you are a vegetarian and you don't eat any meat and loathe the idea of eating meat. One day you have to eat meat, you either have no choice because that is all there is and you are literally starving or maybe someone offered you five grand to eat a burger, or whatever, you decided to eat meat. That doesn't make you a carnivore (or actually an omnivore) one day and a vegetarian again the next, you were a vegetarian during the time you ate the burger even though your actions were those of a carnivore (or omnivore).

Another similar analogy is this. Lets say you are Jewish. You are a practicing Jew and very devout. For some reason you are in a situation where you need to go and participate in a Catholic Mass, so you do. You go, you take Communion, you actually say the prayers, you do everything although you don't believe in it at all you are only going through the motions. You are still a devout Jew, but you did what Catholics do on that particular Sunday. That doesn't mean you were Jewish one day and Catholic the next. That would require not only actual conversion, but it would require belief. You didn't believe like a Catholic even though you went through the motions and even prayed the prayers,- but didn't believe in the Trinity, etc when you said them.

A straight person can have gay sex and still be straight. A gay person can have straight sex and still be straight. Gay or straight is about attraction and feelings and desires and romantic love, having gay or straight sex is about physical action only. You could be very turned off and even disgusted by either the straight or gay sex you were having for money or a movie etc and still do it most of the time, but you could still do it. Acting a part doesn't make you actually whatever it is you are acting. I've been passing for NT most of the time since I was in my teens, but I'm hardly NT.

I like your explanation, OOM! Thank you for your input.

This.

Also, both of my parents have been single and not having sex for friggin' years. Let's just say it ups my suspicion.

It's because people are too obsessed with what others do sexually, otherwise, they wouldn't give gayness a second thought.

As I've always said, the anti-gay crowd are more obsessed with gay sex than gays are!

Exactly!

I know bi people, and I know gay people....and I know some that are somewhere between the two, like have a preference for one gender over the other but still enjoy both. IDK not really any of my business if they were pretending anyways I am sure they'd have their reasons. Sometimes bi people get really disvalidated and treated like they're just trying to be trendy so I could see why some might in some situations just go with a gay identikit so some a**hole doesn't try to call them out on their 'hypocrisy' or so some religious fanatic doesn't give them a lecture about how they could just choose the opposite gender since they are bi and still have attraction to both. I guess the people I know don't pretend around me and my friends...but wasn't suggesting they are always going to be open about being bi rather than straight up gay to everyone.

Hell there are straight people who are secretly not straight...stigma does play a role in this sort of dishonesty much of the time. So either way its not really relevant to me or my buisiness....it would be nice if we lived in a world people felt safe simply being themselves but we don't so I wouldn't judge a bisexual person for identifying as gay/lesbian to say avoid stigma or crap from certain people. Sadly even in the gay community their are pricks who will ostracize bisexuals as fakes or due to a weird mindset you have to be hetro or homo and there is no in-between.

I think the word for that is pretending to be gay.