feeling hopeless.

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been years and years and nothing has got better despite trying. people say hold out it might get better, but it hasn't over years so why would it get better in few months, more likely it'll get worse. what do I possible have to live for, metal gear 5 and fallout 4. two games.that only be played for a few weeks or month, seems rather stupid reason to live. not sure its worth living just to play those. guess any joy left in my has pretty much died, just waiting for that spark of hope to go to finally be free. it feels lik trying to save a sinking ship by bailing water out with a cup.

Once again I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, Sly. But I must reassure you that there are people who care about you. I care, others on this forum care, and I'm sure there are people in the real world (family, friends...) who care. Suicide is not the answer. In the past I have felt like you, hopeless and thinking that nobody cared about me, and wanting to just put an end to what seemed like troubles that wouldn't go away. But suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. If you end your life, the pain will not go away. You will be free from it, but it will be passed on to others. They will live the rest of their lives wishing they could have done something to help you. Unfortunately there is not much I can do aside from saying this to you, it's very important you find someone to talk to. A suicide hotline, a close friend, a family member, or anyone else you trust. By doing that you will get the help you need. You are an important human being, and you deserve to live without this pain.

what if the problem is permanent ?

Could you elaborate?

my life has been this way for the last 27 years, it shows no sign of every changing. so I am forever alone and poor.
so why prolong such a horrible life.

Suicide does not offer an end to pain. It offers an end to any chance one has of improving his life.

When I was in high school, the only thing that kept me from killing myself was the next anime VHS release coming out in a week. That kept me alive, every week, until I got myself my own apartment.

I lived with suicidal depression for 34 years of my life. Hell, I was struggling with it just a week ago, now that I mention it. I have seven years on you with this. And I can tell you from my own experience that what you are going through does not have to be permanent.

Just five years ago, I could have been posting the same things you just said.

But trust me. Even if I am just words on a screen to you, I know that you are worthy and deserving of a better life.

With that said, I strongly suggest calling the Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1-800-273-TALK. I have called them a few times before, and they are good people.

The sh***y thing about depression is no one comes along and fixes it for you (unless you believe in pills) you have to change your life yourself. If you like video games, have you considered branching out and playing other games? I just quit playing one for another that I've played constantly the past 2 weeks - the only reason I'm on WP is because battlenet is down for maintenance

Distraction is the best thing to cure depression, if you can pick up a new hobby you really enjoy you'll forget you're depressed sometimes.

I see. That's tough, I'm sorry you're going through this. But life is precious, and if you choose to kill yourself, you will be throwing away so much. I understand you 100%, there have been times in the past where I felt so low and as if there was no hope of be able to get up, but there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. I spoke up and everything changed for the better. I'm not an expert, but I know there is plenty of help available for people who feel the way you do.

I echo KagamineLen and 886. I think the first thing you should do is call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255), like KagamineLen said, and tell them everything, it will really help, trust me. These people understand and can help you. Please don't give up, I don't want it to end like this for you.

I fully endorse what Kagamine Len and Catlover said above.

My best friend came close to suicide eleven years ago. Fortunately it ended well and he chose not to for if he had, I would never have recovered,as I would have blamed myself and never stopped agonizing and questioning. The fact that in his mental state at the time he shot our beloved dog (I was working at a game lodge some 90 km away) led to major post traumatic stress in my own life and there were times when I was close to losing all sanity. Writing children's fantasy helped me tremendously in overcoming my PTS and enabled me to slowly emerge from the darkness.

All this happened before I was even diagnosed, and made it more difficult to understand things. Diagnosis was a keystone to my recovery.

Depression is a very real medical condition and you need the help you deserve. You deserve to live and to know that people here do care, even if family or "friends" around you don't seem to.

I feel the exact same way. The only reasons I've been staying alive are because of movies and TV shows that I'm looking forward to, but once I watch those movies and TV shows, there's an immediate feeling of "Damn, it's over. Back to hating myself, I guess." I have no friends, no hobbies, and my job gives me barely any work these days (it's a work-from-home job, and I usually only get 4 to 6 hours of work per week). I do have two volunteer positions, but I've had those positions for the past 5 years now and I feel like I've gotten everything out of them that I can and I'm just going through the motions now. I just don't know how to be happy for more than just a few minutes at a time anymore. The large majority of my time is spent feeling depressed, anxious, panicky, or suicidal.

The thing about depression is that it can make it seem like life has always sucked. This was what depression did to me. However, I can now look back and see the good from the past.

It may be difficult to see the good in the present, but I advise that if you encounter a good moment, no matter how small, take it all in. Enjoy it. After doing this for a while, it will become easier to see the positives.

Also, from a lot of your posts, it seems like you put a high importance on society's expectations. I advise you to instead find what works for you. One of the main reasons I was depressed was that I was worried about how I measured up to society's norms and worried about what people thought of me. However, when I decided to do things in a way that I was comfortable with (I had to wait until I was feeling better before venturing out of my comfort zone), I not only felt better but did better.

I think the quote in quiet_dove's signature is something that should be kept in mind.

would be easy done if I didn't want a gf/wife, love and a relationship.

The most unlikely people sometimes find love and a loving partner when they least expect it.

I'm sure you have a good chance of meeting a girl who has eyes only for you. It may take a while but when it happens it will be worth waiting for.

well only have few years left and being I am not well off and that's the main thing that matters to women I'm screwed. I won't ever be middle class, I don't want to besides to get a woman but I don't want a woman who only with amen for their money, which sadly is just about all women now adays. its pointless to consider though I wont' likely ever make more then 12 an hour and thats if I'm lucky, I'd be super grateful just to find any work, but I thinking of just giving up, theres no point. so I get a job but I don't make enough so I'll still be worthless to women, but now I'd be working a horrible job and slaving a way for nothing. or I can just not work and stay at home. atleast in the latter I'll have time to enjoy some video games when they come out. when I work its so tiring, its just work/sleep work/sleep. I'm gone like 11-12 hours a day and so tired ehwne home but have to shave/shower, eat dinner then get lunch ready for next day along with clothes and stuff. so whts the point. it won't change anything other then to exhaust and likely overwhelm me. all for nothing.

also I've stopped showering again. I see no point in it. I don't ever leave my room or see anyone and I can just keep spraying myself with axe to cover the smell.

C'mon man...get in the shower!

Stop this! It's not worth it. If you don't take a shower, you'll get itchy. People will think you're a bum.

Hi Sly,

It's not hopeless. Not all women care about money, just as not all men share your same desires. What people in general tend to want is confidence in a partner. Someone who practices self-love, because that means they know how to love others. Not every woman ends up rich, so they can't all be after money, right? My last year of college I dated a computer programmer who was a few years older. She made about $80,000/year and asked me to quit the little job I had then since she made a lot of money. I didn't, but the point is that a person will care for you if they can care about you. And anyone who thinks all women want money is going to turn off a lot of women because of that attitude. You can be happy. You just have the wrong view of women and you're trying to achieve a goal which isn't really necessary, so of course you feel miserable.