01 Jul 2015, 2:44 pm
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?
If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.
Just for the record, most of those those people claim their partners are aspies- based on things they read, and not really diagnosed, I suggested once to Alex to add Wife-Suspecting-Husband-Having-AS as a diagnosis status for profiles.
I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed.
well I could never do that .I'd probably stay in a loveless relation. I don't want to hurt people and I'm too loyal. but then I still love the past crushes or almost relationshps I had. I'd go right back to trying to get them to be my gf if they asked. love isn't something that fades for me.
01 Jul 2015, 3:26 pm
sly279 wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Loveurself wrote:
StackedAces wrote:
It's a simple question with a long, complicated purview.
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends. At 24, 4 isn't a big number. But it's not that women are a struggle for me;
I'm so apt to fall madly in love with them that I've got no interest in any others. Well, recently the lady I
had been seeing for half a decade decided I'm not good enough. I know, boo freaking hoo right? Well, I've
been battling depression and extreme jealousy since she left but that's not really what I'm asking about. It
occurred to me just a while ago that perhaps we feel these things much more intensely than most.. so when
I think "How could she go be with other men and not even think about me," maybe it's another part of the
extreme aspie obsession the majority of us have come to terms with but on a bigger and more difficult scale.
No?
If that is really the case, then why do I continue to see so many posts about people that get dumped by their aspie boyfriends/girlfriends in the most cold and cruel way? If it is really "love" then why is it so easy to be in "love" one minute and then cold the next? Maybe it's just INFATUATION!! ! that only lasts until the next crush worthy obsession comes along.
Just for the record, most of those those people claim their partners are aspies- based on things they read, and not really diagnosed, I suggested once to Alex to add Wife-Suspecting-Husband-Having-AS as a diagnosis status for profiles.
I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed.
well I could never do that .I'd probably stay in a loveless relation. I don't want to hurt people and I'm too loyal. but then I still love the past crushes or almost relationshps I had. I'd go right back to trying to get them to be my gf if they asked. love isn't something that fades for me.
Sometimes there is a choice between two bad situations.
If you see you repeatably hurt the one you love but you can't help it (for example there are constant misunderstandings related to your inability to read social cues and the person you are in love with happens to easily feel hurt) you know can either choose to:
- Stay in the relationship, knowing you will keep unintentionally hurting the person you love because there are just some things you have no control over.
- Break, knowing they will be badly hurt at first but deal with it eventually and possibly find someone who is a better fit for them.
It's like choosing a surgery (wound that is probably going to heal with time) over living with a defected organ causing chronic pain.
01 Jul 2015, 4:30 pm
ProfessorJohn
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Joined: 26 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,090
Location: The Room at the end of 2001
02 Jul 2015, 3:14 pm
ProfessorJohn
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Joined: 26 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,090
Location: The Room at the end of 2001
02 Jul 2015, 3:19 pm
[quote="Loveurself
I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed. [/quote]
I have often wondered that for NT. I know some who have absolute hatred towards their ex-spouses. I have never understood how you could love someone enough to marry then, and later on hate them so much. How can you swing emotions that widely concerning one individual. Maybe I am too unemotional or something to understand that.
ProfessorJohn
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Joined: 26 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,090
Location: The Room at the end of 2001
02 Jul 2015, 3:20 pm
02 Jul 2015, 3:55 pm
ProfessorJohn wrote:
[quote="Loveurself
I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed.
I'm talking about the ones who are diagnosed. Some seem to have a total lack of empathy for the people they dump; someone they supposedly LOVED. It's amazing how some can move on at record speed.
I have often wondered that for NT. I know some who have absolute hatred towards their ex-spouses. I have never understood how you could love someone enough to marry then, and later on hate them so much. How can you swing emotions that widely concerning one individual. Maybe I am too unemotional or something to understand that.[/quote]
I wondered the same thing until I experienced it. After I split with my ex-husband, I hated him. Hated the sight of him. My strong feelings were born out of a bad situation. My ex had developed a drug addiction a few years into our marriage. He changed. I stuck by his side for many years as he spiraled downwards. We have been divorced for four years now and have had no contact whatsoever in the last two years. It has taken me all this time to realize that I still care about the man that I married but he became someone very different. I hate what he became.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
02 Jul 2015, 4:27 pm
Loveurself
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 29 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: North Dakota
02 Jul 2015, 7:38 pm
02 Jul 2015, 11:13 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Four at 24 is a completely normal number.
I'd say it's pretty f*****g amazing if you're an Aspie guy. I mean, it's 4 more than most of us have had by that age.
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