Is anyone else on here afraid of negative responses?
Ban-Dodger
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« Is Anyone Else On Here Afraid Of Negative Responses? »
Nope, I am not, well no longer anyway. Not sure if it's Ego-Related or not.
Although I do currently think pretty highly of myself (I have even made a Ban-Dodger Fan-Club that everybody should be joining ! ), and I suppose I have developed some fairly decent intellectual-defenses by now, due to a lot of experience with this before, although these days usually nobody bothers to give me any bother. Even if they did it becomes obvious to me that they often due so as a result of not having bothered to do any homework & have thus made their comments out of willful-ignorance (i.e.: intentional self-stupidity).
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That fear is probably the reason so many of us have both gad and depression as comorbids.
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Imagine my therapist's embarrassment when it turned out they really were after me.
Afraid ? Definitely. I've had a lot of negative as well as weirded out responses from people in my life. I had one particular bad response on a forum quite a few years back, about my use of the word "tolerance". The other person just didn't agree with what I had said, for some reason, and decided to criticize me. I have been reading my posts multiple times since then.
As for perceived negativity in BPD, self worthlessness etc....I can relate very well. I think I should address the diagnosis yet again.(I was diagnosed when I was 17 because the disorder apparently had a very significant impact on my life - self harm, suicidal tendencies, impulsiveness, black and white thinking. Then, I moved very far away and I my previous psych I think revoked the diagnosis. So I need to get reassessed.)
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What a coincidence - I was speaking with my therapist about this just yesterday, though within the context of Pathological Demand Avoidance. The connection there was that my demand or expectations avoidance stems from anxiety over anticipated negative responses. Its origins in my childhood and teenage years are rather clear.
If anyone remembers the old I Love Lucy episode that featured the routine about "Niagra Falls! Slowly I Turned...", that humorously describes the very not humorous reaction I can have to negative, or more precisely critical or contradictory, responses. So this is something I am now actively working on. It touches on part of my personality I find unattractive, so looking into it is not pleasant.
Ugh. It is AFOG: Another Fricking Opportunity for Growth
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"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.
If anyone remembers the old I Love Lucy episode that featured the routine about "Niagra Falls! Slowly I Turned...", that humorously describes the very not humorous reaction I can have to negative, or more precisely critical or contradictory, responses. So this is something I am now actively working on. It touches on part of my personality I find unattractive, so looking into it is not pleasant.
Ugh. It is AFOG: Another Fricking Opportunity for Growth
That's really interesting. This is the first time I heard of Pathological Demand Avoidance. Also, "Slowly I turned..." brings back chilling feelings.
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I had not heard of demand avoidance either until someone here on WP recently posted about it.
Here is a link to some good resources about it:
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Link to PDA Resources
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If anyone remembers the old I Love Lucy episode that featured the routine about "Niagra Falls! Slowly I Turned...", that humorously describes the very not humorous reaction I can have to negative, or more precisely critical or contradictory, responses. So this is something I am now actively working on. It touches on part of my personality I find unattractive, so looking into it is not pleasant.
Ugh. It is AFOG: Another Fricking Opportunity for Growth
That's really interesting. This is the first time I heard of Pathological Demand Avoidance. Also, "Slowly I turned..." brings back chilling feelings.
I'm not surprised - they have a diagnosis for everything except for "Normal".
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.
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It's difficult to explain, but there's a lot of "black and white thinking" in BPD. Like, for example, one of your co-workers could simply point out a spelling mistake on something you wrote and your brain could interpret it as "Oh my God, they think I'm an idiot! They'll never trust me to do anything! I'm so STUPID!". I mean, that's one of many, many ways BPD can manifest, but it's happened to me before.
I assumed that it meant hurting those you love most, in cases of extreme bpd abuse victims and ptsd.
Also I've noticed some of the more 'regular' members zoning in on criticism where none is to blame.
I can confidently say, that unless someone has the means to create a blaze of igniting some self interest in others without expecting a drawback somewhere, then would it not just be an innocent exposure to expect someone to offer a subdued non tactical opinion rather than attach themselves to that of an infant child?
I'm tired of hearing unfavourable terms to counteract people who are blatantly keeping up a balancing act with everyone. Why not better to hear them out first then make that assumption.
It's funny how 'some' members can never keep up with these posts. Perhaps the initiative would be to back off instead of keeping up with everything and everybody.
Stop creating a rod for your own back and tell aunt blabby there's nothing to fear but the nature of these posts.
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I'm SO GLAD that no one in this topic was critical of me!! ! I was really nervous about the responses, and THANK GOD THEY WERE ALL GOOD!! ! Although I mistrust pretty much every fellow Aspie because of my past experiences with a couple bad Aspies, at the same time, after seeing the responses, I'm now actually open to accepting Aspie friendships, provided you're not a jerk. Other than that, I'm good! X)
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