The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2015, 3:44 am
03 Sep 2015, 7:05 am
03 Sep 2015, 7:11 am
03 Sep 2015, 9:37 am
OliveOilMom
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Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
03 Sep 2015, 9:44 am
Ferrus91 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
It's like you are comparing the biggest loser in the school to the prom king and saying that they are just slightly different so why are they thought about like that? And I was the biggest female loser in my school for a very long time, so I totally get that.
You can't just catagorize people into alpha and beta and all that s**t. It doesn't work that way in real life except when you recognize that some people are alphas because they are leaders and have forceful personalities. Alpha doesn't always mean very popular and cute, many times it's a leader type as well.
For the two photos in the first post you had, it's sort of obvious that one guy takes care of himself and the other one doesnt. I know that you can't make yourself that good looking if you aren't normally that good looking but a person can do a lot to get past how that pic was. Losing weight, doing something about the skin, the hair, maybe contacts, smile, clothes that look better on, etc. There are small things you can do.
If you wonder why the girls like the guy in the pic on the right over the one on the left, it's simple attraction. Pure physical attraction. Also he's probably got confidence because of his looks. If you aren't great looking then you have to fake confidence but it can be done. I did it. And no, it wasn't easier for girls back when I was in school. I went in the 70's and first couple years of the 80's. You saw that 70's show? Well back then in my school everybody was a Jackie. EVERYBODY but a very few girls. That is what you had to learn how to be and I did and I had to do it without anything coming naturally to me or being pretty, and also having almost no boobs or ass. It was brutal back then.
People are turned off by those who don't take care of themselves, while you may not be first on somebody's list if you do take care of yourself, you aren't going to be at the bottom of it either. I went to school with a guy who was very overweight and had terrible skin and glasses and greasy hair and was rude as hell in school. Nobody liked him, including me back then, because he was dirty and didn't take care of himself at all and because he was so mean and negative. I ran into that guy years later and we got to be good friends and he hung out with my husband and myself a whole lot for a long time. He had lost weight and started washing his face and wearing decent clothes and taking a shower and he got a hair cut. He was kinda hot then. Not like the prom king type but certainly not somebody you would turn your nose up at. He wished he had done soemthing about it in school rather than just be a bitter as*hole to everybody.
You can't just catagorize people into alpha and beta and all that s**t. It doesn't work that way in real life except when you recognize that some people are alphas because they are leaders and have forceful personalities. Alpha doesn't always mean very popular and cute, many times it's a leader type as well.
For the two photos in the first post you had, it's sort of obvious that one guy takes care of himself and the other one doesnt. I know that you can't make yourself that good looking if you aren't normally that good looking but a person can do a lot to get past how that pic was. Losing weight, doing something about the skin, the hair, maybe contacts, smile, clothes that look better on, etc. There are small things you can do.
If you wonder why the girls like the guy in the pic on the right over the one on the left, it's simple attraction. Pure physical attraction. Also he's probably got confidence because of his looks. If you aren't great looking then you have to fake confidence but it can be done. I did it. And no, it wasn't easier for girls back when I was in school. I went in the 70's and first couple years of the 80's. You saw that 70's show? Well back then in my school everybody was a Jackie. EVERYBODY but a very few girls. That is what you had to learn how to be and I did and I had to do it without anything coming naturally to me or being pretty, and also having almost no boobs or ass. It was brutal back then.
People are turned off by those who don't take care of themselves, while you may not be first on somebody's list if you do take care of yourself, you aren't going to be at the bottom of it either. I went to school with a guy who was very overweight and had terrible skin and glasses and greasy hair and was rude as hell in school. Nobody liked him, including me back then, because he was dirty and didn't take care of himself at all and because he was so mean and negative. I ran into that guy years later and we got to be good friends and he hung out with my husband and myself a whole lot for a long time. He had lost weight and started washing his face and wearing decent clothes and taking a shower and he got a hair cut. He was kinda hot then. Not like the prom king type but certainly not somebody you would turn your nose up at. He wished he had done soemthing about it in school rather than just be a bitter as*hole to everybody.
Yeah, well I don't want to wear contacts. If this is something that is a dealbreaker then sobeit I guess.
Was contacts the ONLY thing you saw in that? My husband is an alpha sort, and wears glasses. He wore them when I met him. That's not all that important. Maybe get some frames that look good on you and are in style. I won't wear contacts either but I want to. I can't put anything in my eye. I can't wear them for glasses because I need one for reading and one for seeing and any kind of weird bifocal s**t will bother me so I won't even wear bifocal glasses. But I want some for color. My eyes are sometimes light brown and other times green and other times greyish. I want dark brown eyes like my husband and two of my kids. The other two have green and blue. I can't put contacts in to save my life so that's out.
But how about the other stuff?
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
03 Sep 2015, 9:56 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2015, 10:00 am
03 Sep 2015, 10:01 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
03 Sep 2015, 10:03 am
03 Sep 2015, 10:05 am
03 Sep 2015, 10:31 am
OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
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Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
03 Sep 2015, 11:19 am
Ferrus91 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
Ferrus91 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
It's like you are comparing the biggest loser in the school to the prom king and saying that they are just slightly different so why are they thought about like that? And I was the biggest female loser in my school for a very long time, so I totally get that.
You can't just catagorize people into alpha and beta and all that s**t. It doesn't work that way in real life except when you recognize that some people are alphas because they are leaders and have forceful personalities. Alpha doesn't always mean very popular and cute, many times it's a leader type as well.
For the two photos in the first post you had, it's sort of obvious that one guy takes care of himself and the other one doesnt. I know that you can't make yourself that good looking if you aren't normally that good looking but a person can do a lot to get past how that pic was. Losing weight, doing something about the skin, the hair, maybe contacts, smile, clothes that look better on, etc. There are small things you can do.
If you wonder why the girls like the guy in the pic on the right over the one on the left, it's simple attraction. Pure physical attraction. Also he's probably got confidence because of his looks. If you aren't great looking then you have to fake confidence but it can be done. I did it. And no, it wasn't easier for girls back when I was in school. I went in the 70's and first couple years of the 80's. You saw that 70's show? Well back then in my school everybody was a Jackie. EVERYBODY but a very few girls. That is what you had to learn how to be and I did and I had to do it without anything coming naturally to me or being pretty, and also having almost no boobs or ass. It was brutal back then.
People are turned off by those who don't take care of themselves, while you may not be first on somebody's list if you do take care of yourself, you aren't going to be at the bottom of it either. I went to school with a guy who was very overweight and had terrible skin and glasses and greasy hair and was rude as hell in school. Nobody liked him, including me back then, because he was dirty and didn't take care of himself at all and because he was so mean and negative. I ran into that guy years later and we got to be good friends and he hung out with my husband and myself a whole lot for a long time. He had lost weight and started washing his face and wearing decent clothes and taking a shower and he got a hair cut. He was kinda hot then. Not like the prom king type but certainly not somebody you would turn your nose up at. He wished he had done soemthing about it in school rather than just be a bitter as*hole to everybody.
You can't just catagorize people into alpha and beta and all that s**t. It doesn't work that way in real life except when you recognize that some people are alphas because they are leaders and have forceful personalities. Alpha doesn't always mean very popular and cute, many times it's a leader type as well.
For the two photos in the first post you had, it's sort of obvious that one guy takes care of himself and the other one doesnt. I know that you can't make yourself that good looking if you aren't normally that good looking but a person can do a lot to get past how that pic was. Losing weight, doing something about the skin, the hair, maybe contacts, smile, clothes that look better on, etc. There are small things you can do.
If you wonder why the girls like the guy in the pic on the right over the one on the left, it's simple attraction. Pure physical attraction. Also he's probably got confidence because of his looks. If you aren't great looking then you have to fake confidence but it can be done. I did it. And no, it wasn't easier for girls back when I was in school. I went in the 70's and first couple years of the 80's. You saw that 70's show? Well back then in my school everybody was a Jackie. EVERYBODY but a very few girls. That is what you had to learn how to be and I did and I had to do it without anything coming naturally to me or being pretty, and also having almost no boobs or ass. It was brutal back then.
People are turned off by those who don't take care of themselves, while you may not be first on somebody's list if you do take care of yourself, you aren't going to be at the bottom of it either. I went to school with a guy who was very overweight and had terrible skin and glasses and greasy hair and was rude as hell in school. Nobody liked him, including me back then, because he was dirty and didn't take care of himself at all and because he was so mean and negative. I ran into that guy years later and we got to be good friends and he hung out with my husband and myself a whole lot for a long time. He had lost weight and started washing his face and wearing decent clothes and taking a shower and he got a hair cut. He was kinda hot then. Not like the prom king type but certainly not somebody you would turn your nose up at. He wished he had done soemthing about it in school rather than just be a bitter as*hole to everybody.
Yeah, well I don't want to wear contacts. If this is something that is a dealbreaker then sobeit I guess.
Was contacts the ONLY thing you saw in that? My husband is an alpha sort, and wears glasses. He wore them when I met him. That's not all that important. Maybe get some frames that look good on you and are in style. I won't wear contacts either but I want to. I can't put anything in my eye. I can't wear them for glasses because I need one for reading and one for seeing and any kind of weird bifocal s**t will bother me so I won't even wear bifocal glasses. But I want some for color. My eyes are sometimes light brown and other times green and other times greyish. I want dark brown eyes like my husband and two of my kids. The other two have green and blue. I can't put contacts in to save my life so that's out.
But how about the other stuff?
Well that's the issue. I have poor motor-co-ordination skills, so I'd be worried about putting anything fiddly in my eyes for fear of damaging them. I break enough glasses by mistake: at least they are replaceable.
I dealt with my weight issues a few years ago... and I run half an hour every day. I've always walked long distance.
I keep my hair cut short on a regular basis now and I have pretty decent clothes. I mean, I actually earn a reasonable amount of money as a software developer (a predictable job, I suppose but one which seems to put me in demand) so I have enough surplus cash these days to get such things. I struggle with the social things, but I can put on enough of an act to be friendly or professional. Why would I bother responding to any of the parts that you wrote that aren't directly relevant to me at the moment?
It doesn't seem to really help much beyond that.
I meant what were your thoughts on it.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
03 Sep 2015, 11:20 am
03 Sep 2015, 11:52 am
OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
03 Sep 2015, 12:09 pm
Ferrus91 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
I meant what were your thoughts on it.
Well, I just get annoyed when people make blanket statements without realising that sometimes people do have good reasons for not doing 'x'.
For example: I don't drive? Should I? I don't know, my poor motor-co-ordination and attention to surroundings would likely mean I'd have a higher than average chance of killing myself or someone else. So by not driving I am at least being principled. But apparently this still makes me a bad person and one who should never have a girlfriend.
I made a general statement. It's not meant to cover every situation, it's just in general.
Also, I never said anything about you driving. While cars are important to some girls and grown ladies too, for the most part the car the guy drives, or if he even drives, stopped being important after about high school. The area I live in requires a car to get around because we have no public transportation at all, but lots of people don't have cars and just get rides from friends of their significant other. Where did this driving business come in?
My youngest son doesn't drive yet. I've tried to teach him and it's HELL. Other people have too and it's HELL. HE's learned a little here and there and I'm sure will learn one day when he finds somebody he clicks with that way in the driver's seat but as of now, he's 20 and doesn't drive. His girlfriend drives him where they need to go and he gets a ride with a friend to work. He's the one I think may have a little AS like I do, except he's pretty social. His is other things, not so much not being able to socialize but lots of things I eventually noticed about him and thought back on much after I got my dx when I was middle aged. He's just too scared in the driver's seat. He can drive and has driven when somebody was sick or his ride got drunk or there was another emergency but he's NOT a driver and knows it. We just pretend he chooses not to in front of him so he doesn't get all pissy about it. He really doesn't know how very well and nobody will teach him because he b*****s and yells and this and that and no matter how you tell him to do it you told him wrong, yaddah yaddah. He's usually a very nice guy and gets along with people but he can be extremely bitchy and extremely negative.
So, he doesn't drive and has a gf he lives with and a job and pays the bills and all that. Not driving doesn't make you anything except not a driver, and unable to buy Sudafed in this town because they won't take state ID, only drivers license.
Who said something about driving?
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
03 Sep 2015, 12:52 pm
