Is life worth living when you're too ugly for girls?

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G4C389
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02 Oct 2015, 6:56 pm

I don't know where to start just...well I'm a 6 foot tall slender male aged 25 but look 21 I'm told, and recently I know I'm just simply too ugly to get girls at all....iv never kissed or talked to girls, where my fiends can go out like normal young guys and they bring girls home no problem.....there's been times they've been in the next room and I'm laying in bed alone and can hear them kissing etc and I admit it hurts every time because I'm too ugly for that, my twenties is wasting away in that department because of the way I look depriving me of even being treated as a normal person. It's only natural for a young guy to want to get girls on nights out with friends etc. worse yet iv worked in a bar for over 3 years now and never had any girls like me, if anything they are very snooty with me and stare me like "yuk" and the just take the plate out of my hand and don't say thanks m and I put that down to me being ugly as to why they are like that with me,:/ i see nice girls a lot and it tears me up at times because I'll never have anything like that. I hate it when people say 'oh it's all about confidence/personality blah blah blah' girls don't care about a guys personality if he's ugly. the other night in work I was walking past a group of girls and felt a stare where I looked up one stared then looked up at my hair, I mumbled under my breath as I walked away 'yes I'm ugly get over it', all I ask is to be looked at and treated as a person but with being ugly that's too much to ask in a double standard society. I hate going outdoors to work as I get snotty stares for the way I look ( like I need to be reminded of it) Just tonight our bouncer called me a Mong. Last week I went to work when 2 school kids on bikes where 1 shouted to the other 'waaaat...ugly bastard him', and worse yet at the end of everyday I return to my home and sit in the bathroom in the dark drinking whisky and smoking feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for reading
If you want pics ask p, but I don't know how to because I'm a new user

This is me
http://imgur.com/pwPWOpm
http://imgur.com/Ex3vb92
http://imgur.com/DeuIe8Z



In new white uniform which I hate
http://imgur.com/K6IR0bh
Waiter and ppl stare me a lot weirdly when I'm in white uniform;/ is it because I'm ugly?



Sweetleaf
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02 Oct 2015, 7:23 pm

You don't look very ugly.....

Are your friends in long term relationships with any of the girls they've brought home with no trouble or are these more hook-ups? I think a lot of times people at bars are usually just looking for short term hook-ups or are just there to drink. Also some females might not want to hook up for some one night stand and assume that is what guys asking them out at the bar want. Have you tried interacting with girls in other settings? Bars just really aren't good places for that kind of thing.

Have you tried any dating sites? You could look at profiles and see what they say about themselves, their interests, likes and dislikes and send messages to any that seem compatible. You never know someone might respond and want to meet you...the worst that'll happen is no replies people don't usually send insulting messages back if they aren't intrested.


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Lars_A
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02 Oct 2015, 8:00 pm

Your looks have nothing to do with it. Never having talked to girls is probably the biggest reason.

Try to think more positive and avoid negativity, other people notice negativity.
If you really want to get a girlfriend there is nothing other to do than actually interact with females, even if it's really difficult (practice it).



The Grand Inquisitor
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02 Oct 2015, 9:03 pm

Okay, I'm going to give you the honest truth. You're not an ugly dude from a genetic or physical feature standpoint. I think the reason you might not be as successful with girls would have more to do with having Asperger's/Autism. Even being a new member, you've probably noticed that a lot of the males on this side of the forum are chronically single, and most of those feel they're ugly.

Now, Asperger's/High-functioning Autism has no bearing on how genetically attractive/unattractive you are. What it does have an impact on is how you give and receive social cues, how you hold yourself, how you omit and understand body language, etc. That's what all the chronic singles on this forum seem to have in common, and, fortunately, that's much more malleable than being dealt physically unattractive genes.

I've only been on this forum for a couple of months, and prior to that, I was of the same mentality as you. I thought I was too physically unattractive for women to be interested in. But after reading countless posts from guys here never having been in relationships who are well older than I am, I realised that the explanation for guys like us not getting the girls is because we're socially awkward.

Now let's examine your photos. Your attire is sound. The hairstyle works. You're not severely deformed or obese, or otherwise an outlier where physical unattractiveness is concerned. What I do notice about you that might be hindering your efforts is your facial expression in your photo is very neutral. You seem rather disinterested and disengaged. You're not smiling, or doing anything engaging with your mouth. Your eyes again hint at disinterest, as they're not really focused on anything in particular. In my opinion, you could fix these things by smiling in your selfies, or at least exhibiting a more interesting and engaging facial expression, and perhaps trying to open your eyes a little bit wider so you look more engaged with your surroundings, etc.

These are just all observations I've made about what seems to work and what doesn't. I could be wrong about some things, but from my experience, these observations and inferences are quite valid.



ProfessorJohn
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02 Oct 2015, 9:48 pm

I agree with the previous post. I spent much of my life feeling pretty ugly also. I have shown a few people some photos from when they were younger, and no one said I was ugly. They thought I looked pretty typical, maybe a little overweight-and I did deal with the weight issue when I was 26. I had a couple of therapists tell me recently that the problem was the things I wasn't doing that I should have been doing-like smiling when ever you made eye contact with a girl, finding a way to talk to them, making eye contact when talking, rather simple things. I have tried it out, I can't believe what has happened. Females actually become interested in me, talk to me, smile back at me, things like that. Some of them seem interested enough to want something more, but that is a problem since I am married.

I would recommend seeing a therapist to deal with the Asperger's issues if you can find a good one and afford it. It has been money well spent for me.



whatamess
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02 Oct 2015, 10:23 pm

Ok, first you have to understand that yes, there are people that are just aholes. So make sure you understand that.

Now, I don't know what you look like, but truly, there's someone for everyone.

UPDATE I JUST SAW YOUR PIC! Darn it! It's a shame you're so young, my super pretty sister would date you in a heartbeat! You are NOT ugly at ALL!! !

My cousin is in his late 40s, was skinny, super tall, glasses, not a pretty smile, etc. and served in the Peace Corps. A very smart guy, but neve had many girlfriends. Yes, although LATER than the rest of us, eventually he did have a couple of girlfriends and got married. So, no, you are NOT too ugly to find a girl. I know some people who I don't consider cute in any way, yet they have been married for many years and their wives think they are the hottest thing around...and their wives are pretty nice looking ladies. You need to find people to hang out with who share your same passions. In Dallas, Texas for example, I know that one Museum does science nights once a month, cocktails and all! There are comic book places that have game nights/days and if you like that, go there. Find what you like and I promise you, that you will find a girl.

PS most guys claim they love a pretty smile on a girl, I have had a gap in my teeth ALL MY LIFE which made me very self-conscious...some guys I liked didn't pay attention to me, but others did...I am married now over 16 years together and actually the darn gap I was so concerned about was NOTHING in comparison to today lol yet my husband still loves me and I still have a few admirers...go figure!



whatamess
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02 Oct 2015, 10:32 pm

Oh, yeah, PS I knew a guy that looked similar to you, but he was much younger than me. His mom was my friend. Anyway, he used to talk JUST LIKE YOU and say he was ugly in high school. Today at the age of 30? LOL He's traveled the world, is a very well known DJ, lives in Spain, is married to a BEAUTIFUL girl and well, had a BUNCH of admirers throughout...I remember every time I would tell him how handsome he was he would think I was crazy...today? lol His life speaks for itself! (TRUE STORY)



planet me
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03 Oct 2015, 1:47 am

I bet you are not ugly. Why don't you show us a picture of yourself? It's your personality. My mom says I have a "f**k you" personality and that's worse that "looking ugly". However that problem can be fixed.

Try online dating. I use Plenty of Fish. In fact I command you to try that route.

As for being suicidle? I know how that feels. I've been there and still struggle with it at times.

You have lots to give the world. Us aspies are more talented and intelligent in several areas. Find your passion. The idiots who make fun of you are immature f**k bags. They are so shallow that a maggot couldn't drown in them if they were puddles! You have more talent in your little toe than those shallow ass hats have in their whole bodies!



Peacesells
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03 Oct 2015, 2:37 am

You started a lot of threads about the fact that you are ugly and then you are not. :mrgreen:



Jacoby
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03 Oct 2015, 2:48 am

You look like a normal guy to me, must be something else. Looks don't have that much to do with it I don't think, I don't think I'm too ugly perhaps needing a haircut and shave but there are much worse off looking people out there than me and you that have had plenty of success in relationships. Beyond that I don't have any advice, I am in much the same boat. I don't think I have the self esteem or confidence to initiate a relationship and absent that I probably never will be in one. Anxiety and depression are a vicious cycle, I just hope something goes right right eventually.



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03 Oct 2015, 3:03 am

Of course life is still worth living. The most frustrating part is being unable to have children, thus proving your genes aren't good enough to preserve, unless you didn't plan to have them anyway.

There are a lot of things left to do before you die, and you'll have more time to do them than other people will, as they'll be busy flirting, dating, kissing, romancing, having sex, dealing with the consequences of sex under all sorts of circumstances, and finally raising their kids.


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03 Oct 2015, 3:33 am

Peacesells wrote:
You started a lot of threads about the fact that you are ugly and then you are not. :mrgreen:


Guys that are butthurt over being average-looking do this on here occasionally.



CoffinCrawler
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03 Oct 2015, 3:40 am

You're not ugly. As a female, I can attest to that. Your difficulties lie in your lack of social skills and lack of self esteem. Those are the areas that you should be focused on.



goldfish21
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03 Oct 2015, 6:15 am

Gay guy here. You're not exactly my type, but you're mot ugly, either. Your problem is your perceptions and thoughts about yourself - they're depressive/negative. Correct that, think positively about yourself, and you'll give off a happy confident vibe that attracts the opposite sex.


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SwissPagan
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03 Oct 2015, 7:04 am

well, I will do some sharing here, I was not super good looking middle through highschool, then started to actually look better once i got older. the better looks didn't really help me with my shyness, mainly because I was and still am weighed down by the self-defeating bias that I had internalized as a child. it could be that there is a completely unrelated internal issue need to cope with that is holding you back.



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03 Oct 2015, 7:42 am

What do you want OP? You never constructively reply to any posts and all your posts are modified versions of the same thing...
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/com ... g_my_life/
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/com ... oure_ugly/
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/com ... g_my_life/
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/ ... _a_minger/
What a waste of time... I won't reply to your BS anymore.