Tinder/Online Dating Stories

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I made a Tinder a few days ago because my friend has a Tinder and I was curious. Nothing much more than that and didn't plan on much coming of it. I'm messaging back and forth with a few guys currently. One asked me to meet up and I'm very likely to do so bar me getting super nervous and deciding against it. I'm not looking for a hookup and not looking for a full blown relationship necessarily either (the guys are coming from the same place, supposedly). Friends/casual stuff, I guess. Honestly, it feels really weird to be more or less juggling multiple guys at once. I don't know how people do it on the regular and I doubt I'll keep it up for long.

Meeting a stranger up in real life sounds terrifying and I'd like to hear your tinder/online dating/etc stories about actually meeting up with the people. Was it as bad/good as you expected?

Last edited by Logston on 05 Oct 2015, 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cool avatar. Love the wolves. About Tinder...never tried it, but I'm not a big fan of pursuing more than one person at a time myself, either. For me personally, I value quality over quanity, and seeing more than one person at a time, just seems wrong.

Thanks! Love wolves.

I'm a guy on tinder. So far I've gotten a lot of spam from fake profiles. I've also messaged back and forth with a few people.

I've had a few girls agree to meet up but then they immediately stopped replying to my messages. There was one girl who I was set to meet. We had a time and place set up but when I went to confirm on the day we were supposed to meet she cancelled. She said we reschedule but she stopped replying after that.

I haven't gotten anybody to agree to meet me yet so my experience has been pretty disappointing so far.

I would say, be as honest as possible. Expect to run into some a**holes, but there are some decent people on there so keep trying. And if you do ever plan on meeting someone tell someone you know where you are going and who you'll be with. Maybe even bring a friend.

I couldn't even get ONE match on Tinder. For some context, I'm tall, 20-something, and ripped. No balding or any other noticeable defects either.

I found okcupid slightly better in that I could at least get the odd date. But they never put out or wanted to see me again, so I deleted my account.

All dating sites/apps can be summed up as follows: great for girls, a waste of time for guys (unless you're extremely good looking).

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None of the guys I've been chatting with fall into any "extremely good looking category". I mean, they're attractive guys but still pretty average. How long have you been trying? Could just be your bio/pictures... I've seen A LOT of bad choices there.

I tried alot of dating sites but not Tinder & could never get a single date but I have physical disabilities in addition to my Apergers so the odds were pretty stacked against me. The way I got my 3 girlfriends was by posting aLOT in forums & we were online dating awhile before we met up. I met my 2nd & current girlfriend on this forum.

I wouldn't really say any of the guys I've met were particularly 'extremely good looking'...including my current boyfriend I did meet on okcupid. I mean I think he's pretty attractive, but wouldn't be considered that in mainstream society. It seems socially conventionally attractive=skinny with some lean muscle, clean cut appearance short hair/no facial hair except some fuzz if any and 'professional' or 'causual' normal dress of course to me that appearance is not attractive

Yeah I wouldn't call any of the guys I've dated from online dating "extremely good looking" in the mainstream sense, as I'm not into that type so I don't tend to chat to them (and they don't tend to be interested in me either).

I would have to disagree with the idea that online dating is a waste of time for any guy who isn't "extremely good looking", because I'd like to think that the guys I've dated have had a nice time!

Anyway, OP, I've never used Tinder but if I did I'd be very skeptical of there being much chance of making "friends" there. I imagine it to be more about casual dating and hook-ups (and who knows, one could find a partner), but there would almost without exception be the expectation that you are there to discover if there is romantic and/or sexual interest. Friendship would be something that would potentially come out of a "failed date" whereby you get along great but aren't compatible other than as friends. So basically if things seem like they are going well, it's unlikely to be a blossoming friendship with nothing more. Just something to keep in mind (but I can be corrected if I'm wrong, I've mostly only used OkCupid).

As for juggling, if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. But just chatting to people without actually meeting them...I don't consider that "juggling multiple guys"...it's very much expected that that is happening, especially on something like Tinder I would think. My rule is once things get sexual, anyone else I might be dating has to be cut loose. That's cos I'm not poly, and it seems the best cut-off point for me to feel comfortable with the situation. Before that point, unless anything is stated, it is assumed that I or they might be dating other people. I'd say if nothing has been mentioned, then your dates don't have the right to assume you are not seeing anyone else, but again it's up to you how you feel about that set-up.

Most of my dates from online dating have been just fine (or better than). You might have to practice a bit at getting good at vetting people, so at first perhaps you might meet people who aren't quite what you expected, but you should get the hang of it over time, learning the ways different types of people portray themselves online and all that. Good luck

I used the word friend very loosely haha. More like somebody just to chat with and not like an IRL friend. I'm partially on it to get some more experience in the world of dating in a very casual way, but also to just gain general social skills. Most of what I say is scripted in some way or another, which makes it pretty hard to actually get acquainted with people or keep up with casual conversations. Wouldn't necessarily pass it up if something more came along, but mostly just looking for something casual that's not just hooking up.

I met one of the guys last night. Was painfully awkward for the first 5-10 minutes in an I'd-rather-be-getting-brutally-murdered-right-now kind of way, but once the conversation got going it went well. Might meet up with him again, but still up in the air since we're both kind of busy and don't live terribly close. Might be meeting up with a different guy this weekend, but probably not because my gut tells me it's not a great idea.