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PastIsPrologue
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06 Nov 2015, 2:11 am

I'm finally getting comfortable around my classmates after knowing them for over a year and they seem to like me. I think.

They laugh at my jokes and start conversations with me often. They're all really nice to me and I enjoy being around them. My concern is that similar situations have unfolded to reveal that the people I thought I was making friends with were just amused by my weird behavior and actually made fun of me to one another when I wasn't around. My high school drama club was really supportive of me and my acting, for example, but one day I heard a group of my troupe members making fun of my appearance and the way I hold my arms. They were laughing really loudly and started to yell at me to do that "thing" with my arms. It was really embarrassing.

I thought I was making friends, but it seemed as if I was just a joke to them. Though I know it's not completely true, it felt like they were nice to me just to get me to open up and display more weird behaviors.

My classmates now are a lot nicer and more fun to be around. While I don't want to believe that I'm just being lulled into some false sense of security so they can pick on me, the idea is always sort of in the back of my mind.

I guess my question is how do you know if people actually like you or if they're just pretending to?



xile123
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06 Nov 2015, 2:13 am

I think you're asking the wrong place lol



Justeve
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06 Nov 2015, 3:04 am

It's a difficult one, I still am pretty clueless with friendships, a point that I have picked up on is would they see you outside of where you know then, eg do they like you enough to want to be around you outside of school?


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Kiprobalhato
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06 Nov 2015, 4:24 am

when in doubt, i assume they are using my for a quick laugh, laughing at me rather than with.

better to have low expectations and be unsurprised.


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accountinglad
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06 Nov 2015, 1:14 pm

in high school i found it hard to tell the difference between being made fun off and being friends. THey used to ask me to do stupid things for their own amusement however i was more popular as a result and got invited to parties more.However later on i realised they didnt want to interact with me unless it inloved alcohol



Kiprobalhato
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07 Nov 2015, 2:03 am

i sure didn't get invited to any parties.

:(


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hmk66
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07 Nov 2015, 5:16 pm

It has been pretty difficult to me to see the difference. I don't also see the difference between liking me, making fun of me and: seducing me, hitting on me. I thought: seducing me = faking with me and/or trapping me.



Kiprobalhato
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07 Nov 2015, 7:28 pm

some people do find the idea of being trapped seductive.


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SilverProteus
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08 Nov 2015, 9:21 am

Hey, it might not be as bad as you think. In my observations of people interacting with each other, it's quite common to see friends making japes like that. They're harmless and are not taken personally.


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PastIsPrologue
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08 Nov 2015, 2:22 pm

They invite me to their parties and always beg me to go even though they know I don't like party environments and literally all I would do is stand in the same spot and drink soda all night. I went to one of their parties once and everyone (literally everyone) made a big deal about it. They persist in asking me to go, almost suspiciously so, which makes me wonder if they have some sort of running bet going to see who can get me to come to a party.

Other than that, they don't invite me to do things with them outside of school.

I understand that friends joke with and pick on each other a lot. My best friend and I pick on each other all the time, but we both know we're joking. There's a difference between picking on your friend jokingly to their face and making fun of someone's appearance when they're not around. The example I gave with my club members started out with them in a circle, talking and laughing on the other side of the room, and only including me after their punchline.



hmk66
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09 Nov 2015, 5:57 am

A popular girl was inviting a lot of people for her birthday party, also me. I wonder: "Should I go or not?" I decided to go and give her some money as a birthday present. I didn't fully trust her and wondered why she invited me. I wasn't feeling comfortable after about 15 minutes and decided to leave.

The next morning I talked with some of her friends. They were a bit upset that I left her birthday party so soon. "She was desperately in love with you." I told them: "I didn't fully trust her and I wasn't feeling comfortable." A hot popular girl that was in love with me, often a bully victim. Yeah... right.



Kiprobalhato
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09 Nov 2015, 2:39 pm

your skepticism could have saved you there. i probably wouldn't be like that if i were only a bit younger and in the same position. :(


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