What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to you..

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weirdgirl777
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18 Dec 2015, 12:38 pm

About autism/aspergers?



killerBunny
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18 Dec 2015, 7:47 pm

Pity parties need their own sub forum.

I was told I remind them of someone with autism spectrum disorder. I told them they have rhino esque silhouette. The order of who said what when escapes me.

My contempt dial is at a firm 5.



nurseangela
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18 Dec 2015, 8:13 pm

I guess mine is about NTism. My very drunk friend of 20+ years corrected me when I said "ain't" and followed it up with "dumb MF". She proceeded to call me a "MF" several more times throughout the night - no one else - just me. I didn't say anything back because you could see it in her eyes that she wanted to kill me. I hadn't brought my jeep that night either, otherwise I would have been out of there. It was a relief to get home away from her. I just cried for hours. I still can't believe it happened and it's two years later. I cut off that whole group of friends that night. Another friend isn't talking to me either and I don't know why, but she was mean to Ma just lately so she and her husband are on my "S" list and I stopped talking to my Aspie friend so now I'm down to one IRL friend and my Ma. I'm lonely. :cry:


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19 Dec 2015, 12:27 pm

I can't decide what was the most hurtful. Being told by another aspie that if I can see what I am saying, I will know what will offend him. Or being told by another aspie that real friends listen to their friends and give them support when I didn't even know how to give her emotional support because obviously listening to her rants wasn't good enough. So I guess that means I am not meant to have friends because I am incapable of being a real friend and it's a wonder why we can't keep friends so I am even more justified in not having any friends. Or my mother acting like aspies can't be good people and caring when she would say things like "They don't want to be rejected" when I told her how I have seen them being concerned about how they are making others feel or how they might make them feel or being told by two aspies to stop being literal as if I can flip a switch in my brain and not take anything else literal.


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I have a quilt of labels. I had a language disorder and a speech disorder. Then communication disorder NOS. My other diagnoses have been Language Processing disorder, dyspraxia, SPD, OCD, ADD, Asperger’s, anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder, anorexia nervosa. My mom’s labels of me are: eating disorder, anorexia, social anxiety, PTSD, just being sensitive and having the victim complex when I was a kid. And of course she says I’m normal and says the only thing I had as a child was language. Huh? I must have been a shitty person then and maybe a difficult child I was who had to be labeled because of incompetent school staff and mean kids who didn’t accept differences and because I was trying to be “normal.” :/

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bookworm360
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20 Dec 2015, 9:55 am

In my teens, riding with my dad to visit him over vacation. We talked about some of the conflict between me and my stepmom and my dad told me, "Don't make me choose between you, because you know who I'll choose."

I mean, I always knew. It wasn't a surprise. It was just devastating to hear it stated.



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20 Dec 2015, 11:34 am

Hmm ... tough question.

I guess "For a smart person, you sure can be stupid" ranks somewhere near the top.


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Varelse
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20 Dec 2015, 6:55 pm

"You don't care about me"

I
Really? Loaned/gave money when you were desperate and broke
Listened and sympathized when you were grieving/had been hurt by someone
Fed you when you were hungry
Supported you getting that promotion
Defended you when you were denigrated by others behind your back
Held your hand when you were sobbing your heart out
Never talked sh*t about you behind your back to *anyone*
Honestly and wholeheartedly praised every wise, kind, thoughtful, creative, or attractive thing I noticed about you

But that doesn't count as "caring" because I
Honestly answered (or declined to answer) "does this [clothing/makeup/hairstyle] make me look [fat, old, etc]
Forgot your birthday
Damned you with faint praise
Corrected you on a fact
Never seem to want to go out [jazzercise, drinking, hanging out, to dinner, with a group, to one of your parties]



Spiderpig
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20 Dec 2015, 7:23 pm

I guess I've been lucky---none of the most hurtful things I remember being said to me was about autism or Asperger's.


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MjrMajorMajor
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20 Dec 2015, 7:31 pm

Fnord wrote:
Hmm ... tough question.

I guess "For a smart person, you sure can be stupid" ranks somewhere near the top.


Multiple variations of this, with a side heaping of contempt.



nerdygirl
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20 Dec 2015, 8:19 pm

Being told I wasn't a good mother, in different ways by more than a few people.

Considering that my children are decently well-adjusted, respectful, and talented teens who are making their way in the world even if they are a little quirky and don't have a lot of friends, I think these comments were off-base.
But they hurt, nonetheless.



cathylynn
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20 Dec 2015, 8:31 pm

being told i need to complete another grueling residency by some jerk who labeled me incompetent because i called out the incompetents in his hospital.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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20 Dec 2015, 8:33 pm

killerBunny wrote:
Pity parties need their own sub forum.

I was told I remind them of someone with autism spectrum disorder. I told them they have rhino esque silhouette. The order of who said what when escapes me.

My contempt dial is at a firm 5.


:lmao: :heart:
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sidbonfire
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20 Dec 2015, 8:37 pm

I am an adopted only child and seen as an outcast in my mother's "blood clan" family. One day while we were watching a tv show about about adoption my aunt Mabel blurted out "I'm totally against adoption". I looked at her and asked what should happen to the children? "They should be aborted because no one wants the damn things" was her answer. "Even me"? "Yes, even you!"



cathylynn
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20 Dec 2015, 8:43 pm

sidbonfire wrote:
I am an adopted only child and seen as an outcast in my mother's "blood clan" family. One day while we were watching a tv show about about adoption my aunt Mabel blurted out "I'm totally against adoption". I looked at her and asked what should happen to the children? "They should be aborted because no one wants the damn things" was her answer. "Even me"? "Yes, even you!"

that is HORRIBLE. she has no heart.



sidbonfire
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20 Dec 2015, 9:48 pm

Yes, horrible, but this is the family I had to grow up with.