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BeaArthur
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20 Jan 2016, 11:00 am

Survival in the past has led me to sort of hide and not make any waves, and when I am more forceful and call people out on nonperformance, demand better results, cc: someone's boss, and similar, I usually get slapped down for it.

So I've been kind of in a hiding mode for months now, and therefore getting along well with people at work. But recently some shakeups in our organization are causing our primary application to perform badly and lose business, and my unit finally seems ready to be more pro-active and successful.

I'm afraid of being too forceful in emails, etc., and getting slapped down again.

Edited to add: This is not only an issue of an autistic person in the workplace. Possibly even more salient is being an older woman in the workplace. Younger male managers do NOT like being called out by an older woman.


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traven
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20 Jan 2016, 12:40 pm

Nobody likes being called out, so defence makes ugly generalisations.
Not sure I know what called out exactly means, maybe change that into a more coaching approach and profit more of your senior experience, in a constructive way for the younger crewmembers.
You don't need to prove yourself, anymore. Relax.
People will be people, anyway. (btw, I find older men much more stubborn and difficult than younger men) :?



BeaArthur
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20 Jan 2016, 1:01 pm

traven wrote:
(btw, I find older men much more stubborn and difficult than younger men) :?

We older people do tend to have hardening of the attitudes!


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kraftiekortie
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20 Jan 2016, 1:15 pm

Don't call out the person, call out the idea.

Just try to avoid criticizing individual people.



BeaArthur
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20 Jan 2016, 1:21 pm

In some cases Kraftiekortie, it's necessary to name vendors or people who need to be held accountable, and not to do so in the notes would avoid the content of the meeting....yes this thread started out with emails but now, I'm talking about meeting minutes.

When you have a serious problem brewing in an organization, to not call out the department or person that everyone agrees is the problem, involves an awful lot of tap-dancing. Being indirect is not really my style. (You've noticed?)


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kraftiekortie
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20 Jan 2016, 1:33 pm

I agree. It's sometimes hard to come up with conciliatory language which would bluntly lay out the problem without offending anyone.

Minutes are minutes and cannot be undone. I understand it's your personality to be blunt--but you really have to get to know your audience. People have egos, and also have job-losing fears as well. Social Darwinism enters into the picture.

It is indeed an irritating tap dance! But, probably, smoothing the rough edges might be useful.

Have much seniority do you have in the company?



BeaArthur
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20 Jan 2016, 2:12 pm

lmbo - Seniority? none.

Fortunately, the people I am calling out are mostly in other departments. I'm not a complete idiot.


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btbnnyr
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22 Jan 2016, 3:01 am

Maybe try to focus on the things that are going on wrong instead of the individual people?
The people doing the stuff wrong should get the message that it's them screwing up.


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BeaArthur
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22 Jan 2016, 7:43 am

btbnnyr wrote:
Maybe try to focus on the things that are going on wrong instead of the individual people?
The people doing the stuff wrong should get the message that it's them screwing up.

The organization has a culture of dysfunctional management, where no manager will say anything incisive for fear of ruffling someone else's feathers. Meetings are set up that never happen because some of the participants are out that day, so why don't we postpone it till next month (next month, repeat the same dodge). By the time they figure out that someone is the bottleneck for any real change, they have transferred out of the organization or retired.

But I sense that things might be changing, since we are forced to be a leaner organization. I don't mind lean, as long as someone brings in doughnuts!


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kraftiekortie
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22 Jan 2016, 8:34 am

Anybody who looks like Maude would have my undying respect.



BTDT
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22 Jan 2016, 9:12 am

Why do you have to be the messenger?

With age, I've not only become more selective in my battles, but I look for ways of accomplishing things with less effort--even if it takes longer. Sort of like the Chinese--they are used to regimes coming and going over their very long history.



BeaArthur
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22 Jan 2016, 10:36 am

Good analogy, BTDT. After thinking this over, I believe I need to retract my turtle head into my turtle shell, but still express workplace issues clearly and calmly when called upon.


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