Do people comment on your eyes?

Post Reply New Topic

I've had my eyes described as:

1) Serial-killer eyes
2) Cold
3) Vacant
4) Blank
5) Unemotional

I've also been told I am intimidating. I'm only 5'9 and weigh about 160 pounds but I guess my demeanor accounts for a lot. People often ask if I'm angry and friends often remind me to smile during photos (even though I think I am smiling).

I have noticed there seems to be a certain quality to some AS eyes I have seen. A darkness or shadow, maybe? I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like the eyes are not connected to the emotional side of the brain or there's a light missing. To me it's not a negative thing but it does make me a bit self-conscious when I talk to folks. I don't want to freak them out.

The first time someone made the serial killer comment it really upset me. I couldn't believe that was what I was exuding to other people. I'm as peaceful as can be.

Has anybody else received similar comments about your eyes?

Many times.

Been told I have the 'devils eyes' - I have no idea what that means.

Been told my eyes 'flash' - Don't know what that means either.

I wear glasses most of the time but the other day at work I was walking around without them on and a girl on our floor I've worked with for years looked at me and said "oh wow - your eyes". I have not idea what she meant.

All I know is that my eyes are blue/green. Depending on the lighting and what I'm wearing they'll appear light blue or light green (at least that's what a number of people close to me have told me).

6) The "Evil Eye"

Apparently, my aspire stare is easily mistaken for the "Evil Eye" by some people from the Middle East.

I typically only ever get complements about my eyes, specifically the colour and twinkliness of them.
The things you've mentioned in your post are probably less about the eyes themselves and more about your facial expressions that accompany them. In which case, I know how feel. I'm often described as having a constant poker face, a disinterested look or as my wife likes to refer to it a "resting b*tch face". Lol

Well I get compliments, because my eyes are a greyish green and I have long eyelashes ^_^ one time my friend said sometimes I give people a scary look, I don't mean to though XD

Only compliments. But I don't usually look people in the eyes so they don't get a chance to see them often.

I would like to know what they meant by "flash" as well. Maybe they meant twinkling?

I've heard the "devil's eyes" comment as well. My dad actually said that about my daughter (she has AS as well) which bugged me.

I've heard similar comments to the "Oh wow" as well. Sometimes it's like they are complimenting my eyes but they are still a little freaked out.



That's really interesting. Has that caused any problems in your interactions with people from the Middle East? Do they relax once they talk to you a bit and get to know you? I had not thought about the cultural aspects of eye contact.



You bring up a great point. I was thinking it's like my eyes don't move in tandem with my changing facial expressions (if that makes any sense). I smile but my eyes aren't necessarily smiling. I also have a crooked smile. It's hard for me to make a big "normal" smile. It's kind of painful. On top of that, as you mentioned, I have a limited range of expressions (constant poker face).





I get the occasional compliment as well. I think there is an attractive quality to aspie eyes. Maybe I'm a bit biased, though.

I've trained myself to kind of look below a person's gaze at their nose so sometimes I wonder if that's why my eyes look a bit off to some people. I know I can get transfixed and get the thousand yard stare going.

Yeah, a lot of other men say I have "shifty" or "evil eyes", but that's just covering for their insecurities. I've gotten true feedback on it though from some women and I have "intense pretty blue eyes". Probably some weird 50 shades of something fetish. Ack!

I think it sounds like the difficulty you have with making natural facial expressions, along with your technique for basically faking eye contact, is off-putting. They are going to pick up on these oddities and feel a coldness or strangeness, regardless of your actual emotional state.

I'm not sure how to fix the eye-contact part, I do not make good eye contact at all and I'm sure I look strange when I try.

I've also been told I look angry or depressed when I have a neutral facial expression. So I practiced going around with a very slight smile to the corners of my mouth and it makes me look far more pleasant. I only do it in public places. I also try to smile at people, but not excessively, because it doesn't really happen automatically.

If you crinkle up your eyes when smiling it looks more natural.

Someone said that he wanted to swim in my eyes.

I've been told I have bright blue eyes. People really seem to like my eyes for some reason.

<--- Been told many times he has big eyes.

I'm told my eyes look weird/staring/creepy/stoned.
Some people have told me my eyes are beautiful.
Thank you to those people.

I've gotten comments from other guys who think I am challenging them with my eye contact. I learned I was staring a bit too long. I almost got into a fight in a grocery store because I was thinking about something and didn't realize I was staring directly at this guy. It was pretty scary!



Great tip on the crinkling of the eyes. That is something I need to work on.
I think you're right about the combo of a) the focal point of my gaze and b) the limited facial expressions unsettling people. Over they years I got fairly good at faking my way through interactions but I've been housebound for awhile so I've lost a lot of what I learned. I learned how to make friends from reading books. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of my bible's/scripts. The books gave me the words to use but I've always struggled with the body language. Probably presents a big incongruity to people I meet.



Wow! That's quite a line!



Blue eyes are awesome. Went through a phase where I wanted colored contacts to make mine blue.



I get this comment a lot as well.

Raleigh, thanks for posting this. I get the stoned comment sometimes as well. When I was in HS I was, probably, in fact stoned but I still get it to this day and I haven't smoked pot in some time. I definitely think there is a remarkable beauty to many aspie eyes.

I get compliments if anything, as my eyes are oddly dark aquamarine coloured. People keep asking me if I wear coloured contacts, even when wearing glasses.