Sad i don't have a sweetheart

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I'm just trying to collect the facts so I see where he's coming from. Obviously it's granted that he's looking for a human (he's given us no reason to believe otherwise), but he gave no perimeters in terms of age and appearance. All he said was he wanted a girl to love who will love him back. That really didn't answer my question. Perhaps I should rephrase it.

OP, what are you looking for in a girl in terms of physical appearance, character traits, moral values and employment/economic status? And what can you offer a girl in terms of physical appearance, character traits, moral values and employment/economic status?

And yes, I understand AS affects people in different ways. I used to be incredibly shy too, until I adopted the belief that shyness was an excellent excuse to assign blame to exterior factors for my shortcomings, so I realised that there is risk involved with talking to people, but not talking to people is an even greater failure.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the king of social interactions by any means, but I have developed strategies and thought processes to combat the anxiety I face when considering talking to people.

Perhaps my initial advice about being happy with yourself doesn't correctly capture the message I'm trying to convey. Let me try putting it this way.

Correct me if I'm wrong here OP, but I would assert that you probably feel like girls can't be interested in you for some reason or another. Now if that's how you feel now, don't you think if you felt like it was very possible that girls could be interested in you, you would not be sad, or at least not to the degree you are now?

When I say being happy with yourself, what I'm really trying to say is doing your best to get yourself to the point where you feel like a worthwhile romantic partner. Where you honestly wouldn't be able to understand why girls would choose other guys over you if things happened that way.

As for meeting people from online, granted it js a little bit easier than meeting a stranger, but the difference is marginal unless you've video or voice called them beforehand, at least in my experience.

And about my inquisitory tone... I'm really not sure what else you'd expect from someone whose username is The Grand Inquisitor.

Happy with yourself is 100% within your control.

A sweetheart? Not so much.

Yesterday I thought I'd make some sweet heart for dinner, but hearts were too expensive, so I got some liver instead.

Sort of. It doesn't mean that all depressed people are intentionally unhappy.


Could you approach someone from your group? Have you tried looking for any local meetups? Aspergers or otherwise?

Why does everyone vilify dating sites. I met my current girlfriend on a dating site (OKcupid).

This human specimen branded as sly279 is making a correct statement.

A lack of mating chances is a possible source of unhappiness for certain humans.

One source of unhappiness can make them unhappy overall.

There are other examples of source of unhappiness: Depression, poverty and sickness - but the lack of mating chances can be also one.

/End

Yes, you may ask. I'm 27 years old and I don't want to be with any women in their 40-60s. I want some one that's from 20-35s.

I'm not so picky about appearance. I don't actually look like a model myself. I have small eyes, I've lost a lot hair and a have big belly. I don't think myself as pretty, more the opposite. Most people probably think i look ugly and awful. If she has a bit of belly, i don't mind. I don't think skinny models want to be with a big belly boy like me. I don't expect it either.

I want a woman that is kind, loving, and thoughtful. I want one that's likes me for who i am and doesn't try to change me. If she doesn't have a job, that's ok, but most do. Now, I don't have job, but i will get one later. I know it.

Last edited by Snusmurikken on 10 Feb 2016, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I know I would be happy if I had a sweetheart. I'm not happy now that i don't have sweetheart, so if I get one i must be happy. I want a sweetheart that also can be my best friend.

I think I may have a lot problems just approaching some stranger there. I don't know what to say to someone. That center actually is for people that have issues and such or just want be with someone. I've been told several people there have Aspergers. But I don't know who. You can't tell who has Aspergers.

Yeah the world is kind of set up in such a way you need money to survive, thus yes it is going to help maintain quality of life and contentment. Doesn't mean money actually buys happiness, if money wasn't required for life there would be another way to acquire survival supplies as well as things you want that bring you happiness. Also there is something really great about friends/family or an S.O that really cares about you, rather than what is in your wallet.

Money is a means to an end, that is all.

Also what is wrong about having to fix things? or being closer to 'the wild' I mean it seems various ancient cultures that existed before all the advanced technology and world-wide monetary system still found time for leisure and happiness.

I don't know about all that, I can't approach people I don't know IRL either doesn't mean I don't want to meet people or would never go out...just can't go up to someone and start a conversation. I mean I can go out and about, and try and be approachable via body language(also not my strong point). But as for the online thing it is actually a lot easier to meet someone IRL if you've been talking to them online already and have seen a picture, makes them seem more familier initially. At least for me, another person with the 'cant approach people' issue.

I agree with you.

The world isn't set up by anyone, and you can live without money just fine in a deserted island provided you grow your own food and make all the tools you need. Money exists precisely because specializing and trading is more efficient, so those who do it tend to win. The fact that a modern society can have moochers like myself parasitizing it is a testament to its success---in a Stone Age economy, there'd be no room for us and we'd be long dead.

Your call if you want to make your happiness contingent upon something that might not happen.

Being in a relationship can also be a cause of unhappiness. I keep thinking about all the other girls I can't date now