A lack of friends with issues

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so im just venting here a little. im not normally one to sit and feel sorry for myself asa rule but right now i am. its so tiring not really having any friends who share the issues that i do so cont really understand the significance of certain things. why or how some supposedly simple things are a huge deal, huge obsticals that are just utterly exhausting to deal with. then no t te mention that there isthe is feeling the need to always "be on" when arround normal friends, again its so tiring.

so right now im sitting, procrastinating, avoiding things i know i cant for long and bemoaning my lack of similarly issued friends. i get thats a rather selfish want but still, it would be nice to have somu fronds near by that actually get these things and can trully grasp that when i say soemthing is a problem, i means its a giant F ing problem and the reality is that normal people just dont get it. sigh. its all just so draining and somewhat lonely.

sigh.

well again this issue, life, the things that are required, the lack of money, the lack of being bad enough to get assistance. i mean do i really need to burn the f*****g house to the ground before anyone will take notice and accept that when im saying i need some help that actually mean need? not just ooh it would be nice but you know im really not coping right now. sigh, yet because i dont look like im nearing breakdown stress levels it doesnt mean im not yet it seems to actually get any help youve got to have complete breakdown first.

so again, i say sigh.

During my high school years i kept my diagnoses to myself. Nobody would or could understand.

Now (24) my closest friends know that i have Aspergers. For roughly a week out of every month I hibernate like a bear because i just feel the need to.

When i crawl out of my cave those friends who know what i have and have proved to be true friends over the years understand and welcome me right back.

Im not sure what good this does you its just what im thinking at the time. I've told them they will never understand what its like inside my head and i have only kept the ones who like having me as their weird buddy, but not in the sense that im made fun of, they all actually think im the smartest of the group (jokes on them).

I wish for one day we could all ride a NT brain just to see the difference.

Sorry you're feeling down mark. Sounds frustrating.